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meet the ex again or not?

  • 17-03-2010 9:50pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    o.k I went out with a guy for 3 years, for the first 18 months it was all lovely, romantic. then he changed & said that he didn't know if he could commit at least not with me, he wanted an "arrangement" i.e. he saw me when he felt like it but had no responsibility to me. Things dragged on I was was going through a tough time, I was nursing my father with cancer, he died.

    Eventually I said that he was either in or out he was out!) & I broke all contact. I haven't heard from him in 2.5 years. I'm in a very good place right now. Career going well, financially all good, lots of mates, good family, some guys interested in me, I'm enjoying the flirtations.

    The ex recently got in touch with me, wanted to meet, we met for lunch, all fine. I work in the same company as him & didn't want any akwardness. (He's been working in another city for past 2 years). However he wants to meet again & i don't know how I feel about it. Part of me says I should just tell him to get lost. What does anybody else thin?k


Comments

  • #2
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Un Reg Lady wrote: »
    Part of me says I should just tell him to get lost.

    Go with this part of you unless you have a burning desire to have him back and something to prove that he's changed.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Go with this part of you unless you have a burning desire to have him back and something to prove that he's changed.

    Thanks for your reply AB, I suppose I don't like being "rude", I feel the need to explain, however the ex never felt the same need. I also believe that it's very very rare that people change.


  • #4
    StillWaters
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,799 ✭✭✭StillWaters


    Un Reg Lady wrote: »
    Part of me says I should just tell him to get lost.

    What does the other part say? Do you still harbour romantic feelings towards him?


  • #5
    Moylaragh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 42 ✭Moylaragh


    If your in a good place move on.

    Dont look to the past for happiness. You didnt find it then and you probably wont find it now.

    Try and find someone that doesnt mess you around with this no responsibility pretend sort of "relationship." People deserve to be treated with more respect than that.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here again, thanks for everyone who took the time to reply. Think you're right never look back, time to move on.


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  • #7
    countryliving
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 199 ✭✭countryliving


    can i ask you when your Dad was'nt well - did he give you a lot of support? (sorry you lost your Dad and you were very good to nurse him)
    i would probably say don't go back near him as these guys never change - lovely for the first 18 months etc. and then this messing around and suiting himself...........now maybe he has grown up and matured and realised what he was missing but i wouldnt go back - i never go backwards. however, really it depends on how you feel and if you have deep feelings for him well then you got to give it a chance - for your own sake and have no regrets...........but really i would say - leave him behind you and good luck.


  • #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    countryliving wrote: »
    can i ask you when your Dad was'nt well - did he give you a lot of support? (sorry you lost your Dad and you were very good to nurse him)
    i would probably say don't go back near him as these guys never change - lovely for the first 18 months etc. and then this messing around and suiting himself...........now maybe he has grown up and matured and realised what he was missing but i wouldnt go back - i never go backwards. however, really it depends on how you feel and if you have deep feelings for him well then you got to give it a chance - for your own sake and have no regrets...........but really i would say - leave him behind you and good luck.

    CL, sorry for delay in coming back, i'm logging in after work. No, he give me very little support, specially practical support, lots of talk but little practical help. One incident, my Dad was in respite care for a week, my mother & I had been nursing him at home, Dad was furious that he was these, when I went to visit him, he didn;t want to talk to me kept insisting that I was to phone my Mam to get him out. When I wouldn't he turned his back & wouldn't talk to me. I was very upset, on the way home I had a blowout on the motorway. I was just before the turn off to my ex's house. I rang him to help me as I couldn't loosen the bolts on the wheel. There was thunder, lightning & torrential rain, He didn't answer. I was balling my eyes out, when a man stopped & helped me, I'm sure he thought I was a looney.

    When I asked him why he didn't answer the following day, he said he wasn't answerable to me (I'd left messages when I was obviously upst).

    I think you're right I have to leave him in the past


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