How the hell do you chat to girls??

LegacyUser

Hi, I know this a bit of a naive question for somebody my age to be asking but seriously I think I need some advice. I have big problems talking to girls when I am out. I rarely approach them because of this and when a girl approaches me I usually manage to make a mess of things by not really impressing her. I'm a good looking guy so getting attention is not always hard but my chatting skills are just awful!! I am tired of missing opportunities with girls every weekend because of it.

I have a lot of fun when I go out and don't take myself seriously at all. I think this is the main reason I am not good at talking to girls because I just treat it as a joke or something. I guess you could also say that I am a bit odd in my sense of humour and I find a ot of weird things funny. But this is what makes my personality and I wouldn't change it as I have great friends but I just think it makes it harder to talk to girls who are usually pretty "normal". I really hate to have to try and script what I say to girls as I really don't like being one of "the lads" who uses the same cheesy chat up lines on girls but I just think I need to practise a bit what I say to girls. Like just perhaps have some topics rather than "whats your name" or "where ya from". So anyone care to help a struggling guy out? Would appreciate it!

magneticimpulse

Well how do girls talk to guys? Its boring being asked where you from, what do you do!! I dont like it, because people get a bad impression where im from. I prefer to discuss where I have traveled. I also not keen on cheesy chat up lines. Just go up an chat to a girl. With more practise you will get used to it.

But Nightclubs/pubs are not the best place. Im always telling the taxi driver after a night out, that i never meet any guys...and they are gob smacked as they say guys have the same problem. They keep saying...ah but its so easy for girls to meet guys, its not!!

You have to join something where you feel comfortable to be yourself, and which doesnt involve alcohol. meetup.com or couchsurfing That way you have something in common to talk about, like if the meetup is a festival, gig, walk, dinner etc. Dont beat yourself about not talking to someone in a pub/club as not many people are good at it. Not many people have the courage to go up to a random stranger and say hi, especially if they are with a big group of people. So join something!!

prinz

howtochat wrote: »

I guess you could also say that I am a bit odd in my sense of humour and I find a ot of weird things funny. But this is what makes my personality and I wouldn't change it as I have great friends but I just think it makes it harder to talk to girls who are usually pretty "normal". I really hate to have to try and script what I say to girls as I really don't like being one of "the lads" who uses the same cheesy chat up lines on girls but I just think I need to practise a bit what I say to girls. Like just perhaps have some topics rather than "whats your name" or "where ya from". So anyone care to help a struggling guy out? Would appreciate it!

Firstly don't put on an act, just be yourself. As was said before some people just aren't suited to the pub/club atmosphere. I'm not, I was terrible at it. You just need to put yourself into other social situations. Eventually you will meet someone. Like you I have an odd sense of humour, I was dinner one night years ago at the college house of a friend and I told a joke which didn't go down too well - there was complete silence except for one girl who was in fits trying not to laugh.. got talking to her later on about the joke and found she had a similar sense of humour to me.. and it went from there we're married now. Girls are just like guys, some have a quirky sense of humour some are good at chatting up guys in clubs.

unclecessna

Pubs and clubs can be a bit hit and miss for even those that are good with girls, it's true that you really have to be yourself and relax which is easier said than done in our image conscious society, sure you will approach girls who will be completely ignorant and blank you..hey, their loss - that's the way you have to look at it.

A good way to become more experienced with chatting to girls is to make it a habit everday if possible to talk with some random girl for a minute - e.g. if you see a pretty girl serving you in a shop say some flippant off-the cuff joke and smile...probably sounds creepy the way I just said it but the girl won't care really what you said but she will just notice you smiling and will probably smile back - then don't make a big deal about it and move on about your day.

It sounds silly but these small little steps will build up your confidence in the long term with chatting to women. The main thing is to stop putting yourself under the microscope so much and be happy and comfortable with being you.