Splendid Isolation

anoriginalname

I am just looking for some advice and opinions on what you posters would do in my situation.

I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago. We had been having some problems, and the final blow came when in a moment of madness she kissed her ex, after we had had a blazing arguement. It has been a rocky couple of months and we have got somewhere near being friends, but things are still fragile.

However my problem is this, we share the exact same group of friends. I have been finding it difficult to go out and socialise with them the last while, because she is always there, and many times her ex is too. I was good friends with a couple of the people in the group long before I ever met her, and I have to say I feel a little wounded by them. They don't seem to acknowledge the amount of pain she has caused me, and have been trying to get me to just get on with things and come out on nights out. Even the ones that do, I find betray me a little bit in how friendly they are to them. It just makes me so sad, and I feel so alone.

People keep telling me maybe I should find a new group, but that is easier said than done. I have been trying to move on and get on with things, but its pretty difficult when she is always there. I know if I keep staying home, and staying away and lashing out at them I will be completely alone. But I just feel so tired, messed up and betrayed and I don't know what to do.

Any thoughts?

Blisterman

Tough one. I suppose, you'll have to face the fact that, if you want to keep your friends, you'll have to get to the point where you can spend time with your ex, no problems.

Have you tried going out with just a couple of your friends? Not as part of the whole group? Might be the best thing to do, until the initial pain wears off.

deadpoet

Has she got any sisters?

Friends - especially male friends - though they may seem 'close', will rarely venture more than a pat on the back and tell you to keep your chin up becuase there's more fish in the sea which as we both know is utter offal and awful 'advice'.

Blistermans onto something. Try to decipher which of these friends she's closest to and furtherst from. Arrange nights out that exclude the friends she's closest to and soon enough the excluded friends will realise just why they're excluded - this woman has hurt you deeply on an emotional level and your alledged friends are choosing her over you.

In time, and I'm talking a matter of weeks - you simply wont care about the situation any longer and circumstances will settle back down to the way they once were. I promise you.