Am I Annoying?

LegacyUser

The title may be a bit misleading but I am worried that I might be annoying.

The problem is that whenever I'm around friends or family I tend to always correct them if they do something wrong. If someone misspoke I just can't help myself in correcting them.

If someone is annoying me, e.g. chewing loudly or saying some irritating catchphrase I would have to tell them to stop.

Straight afterwards I feel really guilty, I guess. I don't want them to think I'm being a dick, so I apologise.

I can't seem to stop correcting people, then apologising after I say it!

I know it sounds very messed up. I don't mean to annoy them, it's just that when something irritates me I kind of have to respond.

Should I stop correcting people? Should I stop telling people they are irritating me (even though its usually bad manners what they're doing!)? Should I stop apologising? I seem to apologise for everything......

Thanks for reading.

unreggd

This would make you seem like a prick TBH

I'm sure you do lots of things that others find annoying, but dont correct you on, out of COMMON DECENCY

Basically, you have no right to correct people

You're trying to justify it by sayin "its usually bad manners on their part, etc"

But the fact you apologise, you know its wrong

silly

I know someone just like you.
Yes its annoying, and i always find myself waiting....just waiting to correct them on something...its not healthy..

perri winkles

No offence, but I woul dfind you extremely annoying. Im suprised nobody has pulled you up on it and told you to cop on.

Im sure there are things (other then your correcting) that you do that annoy people.

Sorry to sound harsh, but I'd be careful because people will eventually get sick of you correcting them, and may not want to hang out with you anymore.

Just try loosen up a bit! Everyone has flaws and bad habits, including you.

Shayman

socialissues wrote: »

Should I stop correcting people? Yes!

Should I stop telling people they are irritating me (even though its usually bad manners what they're doing!)? Who are you to judge?

Should I stop apologising? Only if you have nothing to apologise for

I seem to apologise for everything......

Thanks for reading.

.

She Devil

have you tried to stop OP?
Maybe tell your mates that you realise you do it and are making a conscious effort to stop it?
We have enough people putting us down in life, we really don't need our friends to do it to!

LegacyUser

Shayman, you said "Who are you to judge?" Surely if someone was, say, picking their nose or taking off their shoes and socks and scratching their feet in TV, you'd consider that bad manners? It does irritate me, but you're saying I should just put up with it even though it sometimes drives me insane?

I will try to stop correcting people, even though I only do it because I'd like to know if I was saying something that was incorrect! I'll just bite my lip and try not to say anything.

miec

Hi Op

I'll open with saying that at least you are aware that what you do is annoying, and can often be hurtful so that is a good thing. To be honest it is hard work being around someone who is critical all the time, even if it is bad manners, etc. The thing is you need to ask yourself why you feel this compulsion to change people or tell them off for various habits. It is an attempt to control other people and you need to understand why you feel the urge to do that. If you cannot stick a person's habits or way of being, I would suggest you don't stay friends with them but if it is superficial stuff and they have lots of lovely qualities but the odd habit that annoys you I would urge you to take a deep breath, relax and say nothing because eventually your friend will try to avoid you and you'll lose friends. The only person you can change is yourself and in this situation you can change how you respond to these mannerisms etc. Once you get into the habit of saying nothing, just think of the relief of not having to apologise all the time.

cafecolour

socialissues wrote: »

Should I stop correcting people? Should I stop telling people they are irritating me (even though its usually bad manners what they're doing!)?

The number one rule of manners is that it is bad manners to tell someone what they are doing is bad manners. You are being just as rude as they are.

krudler

socialissues wrote: »

The title may be a bit misleading but I am worried that I might be annoying.

The problem is that whenever I'm around friends or family I tend to always correct them if they do something wrong. If someone misspoke I just can't help myself in correcting them.

If someone is annoying me, e.g. chewing loudly or saying some irritating catchphrase I would have to tell them to stop.

Straight afterwards I feel really guilty, I guess. I don't want them to think I'm being a dick, so I apologise.

I can't seem to stop correcting people, then apologising after I say it!

I know it sounds very messed up. I don't mean to annoy them, it's just that when something irritates me I kind of have to respond.

Should I stop correcting people? Should I stop telling people they are irritating me (even though its usually bad manners what they're doing!)? Should I stop apologising? I seem to apologise for everything......

Thanks for reading.

People are annoying, everyone has some little tic or habit that others may find grating, but you dont just start calling people out on it, unless it was something that was absolutely driving you nuts and you asked them in a nice way to stop. But yeah, I'd find you annoying to keep correcting people, I'd find it embarassing if one of my friends did that, tbh I'd pull them up on that before I'd say anything to the person who was doing something annoying to begin with.

Putting up with peoples little habits is a part of life, you're not perfect either and probably do stuff that drives people nuts (like correcting a mistake in speaking) being a grammar nazi in real life is pretty insulting to people. If someone misprounonced something then asked if they said it right or what the correct way was thats fine, but correcting people over small pronunciation mistakes? thats just petty and arrogant tbh

LegacyUser

krudler wrote: »

If someone misprounonced something then asked if they said it right or what the correct way was thats fine, but correcting people over small pronunciation mistakes? thats just petty and arrogant tbh

Well its not really pronunciation mistakes. I wouldn't say "oh you pronounced xxxxx wrong", it's more that they say some word and I think they mean something else like "don't you mean to say xxxxx". Miles apart, I know :L

Bottle_of_Smoke

Don't mind people who correct others so long as they don't sound like they enjoy it.

Though a lot of people will hate you over this. Apologising is nearly worse, then you've made a scene out of their mistake twice as long

wylo

She Devil wrote: »

Maybe tell your mates that you realise you do it and are making a conscious effort to stop it?

+1 , good advice here, even if you cant help yourself, by letting them know it bothers you just as much as it does them it will make you a more likable person, plus your giving them an opportunity to call you up on it next time you do it. E.g. you correct them, and they can go (in good spirits)" you see ?? there you are again at that". If this happens enough you will just stop doing it.
Often when someone says a word wrong, or says the wrong name of a person they know theyve said it wrong theres no need to correct them. My mothers always doing but I dont correct her because I know she knows what shes talking about, and I know what shes talking about it, so theres no point (unless they are consistently calling something something its not)

FerrisBueller

Have to say you'd drive me crazy, I've met a lot of people like that. Starts off with correcting and escalates from there. Stop it now. Great advice on the talking to your friends about it but another bit of advice would be let someone else do the correcting, etc so you won't be the fall guy if it bugs you that much.

AnnyHallsal

Yeah, that's pretty annoying. You're clearly not a bad guy but no-one likes being corrected. Try to relax and let the little things go. It gets easier with time.

am i bovvered

Hi OP,
Personally I would not find the correcting annoying but most definitely would be annoyed by the apologising.
If you feel something needs to be said fair enough, if that person does not like it they can tell you.