I'm too dumpy and frumpy and don't know what to do...

rantyface

I'm wondering if anyone has any advice for me. When I go out and about I see people with perfect hair and skin and clothes that fit beautifully. Is that natural or do they generally make an effort?

Despite the fact that I have a kind of cute face and nice light blonde hair and am slim, I always look scruffy and ungroomed. My hair is always wild (although it's in very good condition, it's just naturally wavy and mad) and no matter what brand of make up I wear, I rub it off in patches and it looks terrible. I get very pink-faced when I'm warm, and occasionally get one or two spots. My clothes make me look very fat, even though I'm size 8 under them. I'm outdoors a lot and like to wear lots of warm layers, but they completely drown my figure. I'm 22 and am occasionally given child fare tickets on buses.

Are there any tricks I could gradually incorporate into my routine to look a bit more presentable? I feel very dumpy and unattractive.

miss5

Hi, I think most girls do have to put in a bit of effort.
I think you need to find your own personal style, go
shopping with some friends and get some feedback.
Your young and slim so you could pull most outfits off.

What type of clothes are you interested in?

baby and crumble

I know how you feel- although I'm not lucky enough to be slim, the only way you look good is by feeling good, as cliche as it is.

Yo sounds like you have a lot to work with- your hair is in good condition, you have a nice face and a good figure. Those are things that are less easy to fix than other stuff!

Ok, hair-wise, you just need to find the right style. Easier said than done! Look at pics in magazines, online, that sort of stuff. Splash out on a really good stylist the once, and once you have a great cut, you can trim it and keep it neat somewhere a bit cheaper.

no matter what brand of make up I wear, I rub it off in patches and it looks terrible. I get very pink-faced when I'm warm, and occasionally get one or two spots.

There's a product you can get to wear under makeup to alleviate the redness- I'm sorry i've never used it so I don't know what its called- maybe someone else can jump in on that one... With regards to the make-up, I've always been of the opinion that less is better, and if yours rubs off a bit, why not try a tinted moisturiser? You're in your early 20's, so you prob don't need anything as heavy as you think.

My clothes make me look very fat, even though I'm size 8 under them. I'm outdoors a lot and like to wear lots of warm layers, but they completely drown my figure.

I think you might just need to layer well. Instead of a hoody under a coat, try 3 or 4 thin layers, like long sleeved tops and cardigans and scarves. Hoodys automatically make you look massive. It's all about fit.

As for nights out, NOBODY just goes out without putting thought into it. I gaurentee all those girls spent ages picking out the clothes they're in. It's all about confidence. Stick a bit of swagger in and everyone will think you look great.

it is all about trial and error. I looked desperate when I was 22, only recently starting feeling comfortable in myself. Just go out and try stuff on that you don't think you'd ever like- you can surprise yourself.

fend

Probably sounds like a bit of a stupid idea, but when im looking for ideas on how to dress, I usually go on sites like ASOS, and just click "jeans" or "work wardrobe" and have a look a what and how the models are dressed and clothes that look good with other items. Even looking at the "suggestions for this outfit" are great for ideas. Another great place to look is on the actual ASOS homepage... Being a size 8, you shouldnt have much difficulty in looking for some ideas.

It's all down to just looking around you and going through your wardrobe. Throw out things that make you feel, to be blunt, sh1te.... As much as YOU may like them when they're on the hanger, if you just dont feel good in them when your out, whats the use in having them?

great sites for this are http://www.ASOS.co.uk, www.net-a-porter.com/ and http://www.littlewoodsireland.ie/

If your interested in buying some of the stuff you see, but see that prices are RIDICULOUSLY expensive, dont worry, most high street places are doing pretty much the same styles in just about anything! So picking up key pieces on a budget is simple enough!

fend

Oh and also, for the make-up/hair problem.... You tube have some pretty good videos from girls all over the world who give out good tips and ideas.

If your make-up isn't lasting, try going to a beauty salon or your local department store and making a one off appointment to see one of the facial experts. They can give you some pretty good tips, and whatever you do, dont feel obliged to buy some of their products... Trial and Error all the way!!!!!!!!

beanyb

zoegh wrote: »

There's a product you can get to wear under makeup to alleviate the redness- I'm sorry i've never used it so I don't know what its called- maybe someone else can jump in on that one... With regards to the make-up, I've always been of the opinion that less is better, and if yours rubs off a bit, why not try a tinted moisturiser? You're in your early 20's, so you prob don't need anything as heavy as you think.

Smashbox Primer is great for both of those problems. It goes on after moisturiser, but before foundation and it helps keep your make-up in place. There's a colour correcting version that also helps to tone down redness. I have quite dry skin, and before I used this my make-up would be fairly patchy after a few hours. Now, it stays perfect all day, with little or no touching up. I couldnt recommend it more.

rantyface

Thanks.
I will try primer, and I'm going to wear a little bit of make up every day I think.
I just threw out some of my particularly horrible underwear and am going to get rid of my horrible shapeless clothes as soon as I can afford to replace them.

I feel bad for my boyfriend because he always compliments me and I tell him to f off and accuse him of lying because I feel so ugly.

baby and crumble

Ah yes, vile underwear. Is there anything more likely to cause you to feel manky?

With regards to the BF thing- I think there's more to this than just the way you dress. Irish women are so bad at taking compliments, I'm desperate! But people don't give you compliments unless they mean them. I know I don't. If I think someone looks crap I won't tell them, but if they look great, I definitely will. SO maybe you need to work on believing your boyfriend? He'd hardly be with you if he didn't fancy you...

fend

rantyface wrote: »

Thanks.
I feel bad for my boyfriend because he always compliments me and I tell him to f off and accuse him of lying because I feel so ugly.

+1

I think everyone does it at some stage. It takes some time, but it gradually changes. Try getting some black leggings, and team them with ANY sort of top. Anything pretty much goes with them. Even a black tshirt and perhaps a blazer? For a different look, add some brooches to the jacket, or those little button badges. Its all about finding your own style. Dont feel like you need to conform to the skinny jeans, massive hair look. Individuality is key.

baby and crumble

And by the way, while you say your clothes are shapeless, maybe try get around that until you can afford new ones by using belts, or learning to sew? I know I did and it's surprising how easy is it to do a few little stitches and voila, things fit better.

beanyb

fend wrote: »

+1
Try getting some black leggings, and team them with ANY sort of top. Anything pretty much goes with them.

I'd second this, as long as the top is long. Nobody, no matter how slim, looks good in a short top that doesnt cover your ass with leggings!

Pandoras Twist

Waist belts help all ill fitting clothes.

I find the chicest (is that a word?) outfits are the ones that look like youre not trying to hard. Try flat boots, leggings, a dress and a long cardigan.

http://www.missselfridge.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=20555&storeId=12554&categoryId=143525&parent_category_rn=63749&productId=1635488&langId=-1

http://www.aldoshoes.com/uk/women/boots/tall-boots/75787944-mersereau/28

taram

I'm an outdoor girl too, and I know how hard it is to look like you have a figure at all. I've gotten some lovely bright coloured fleeces, teamed then with cute coloured hats with bows on them, or have sewn large coloured buttons on them. Even with a big muddy coat on over it I look good Or often I'll just wear normal clothes, but layer them, so they fit my body well, even if a little bulky. But nothing is worse than being too cold!!

Your face could be red from light windburn or sunburn being outside often, I often get it, I wear a intensive moisturiser with high SPF on it. For the few spots I get I use Freederm gel that targets them, since I don't need to use medicated stuff all over my face as it'd dry it.

A good bra and knickers always starts an outfit off well

rantyface

Thanks everyone you've been very helpful. I do like dresses, they're handy for cycling too! I've never worn leggings. I'm short with muscular legs... I don't know if I should inflict that on the world. They're even rippled when I'm relaxed... eugh! I think they could look ok with a long cardigan though. Will try. At a fiver it's no big loss!

ladybird101

Hi rantyface,

i understand where your coming from. I occasionaly feel the same. It can be difficult to keep up with appearances today, i especially find it hard to keep up with my peers when they are so up to date on the latest fashions etc. It can sometimes be too much. However l8ly my best friend (who always looks her best) brought me shopping and helped me buy clothes that really suited my figure and suprisingly people really notcied the difference when i wore the clothes she picked, as for make-up in shops like in booths they can be very helpful and help you pick make up thats best suited for you. It can be hard to keep up with everyone, but i believe it pays off



im sure you have a friend that is in to fashion and hair etc and can help you with this.