Did he cheat?

LegacyUser

This is something that's been eating at me for a year now and I'd like to get other people's insights.

I went out with this guy last year. Was rather serious, especially in the beginning. But things started to go downhill about 3months into the relationship, after he had returned from a trip back to his own country. The crux of the problem as far as I'm concerned was that he had gotten possessive. He made the mistake once or twice of 'demanding' to know where I had been when I hadn't answered my phone. Most of those times I had been studying or doing projects in the library and I told him whenever he asked nicely.
After we broke up I started thinking about why he had started acting that way. I had never treated him in such a way and it seemed completely bizarre for someone to be so paranoid. I remember thinking about the time he called me and told me he had gone to his ex-fianceé's house; I thought nothing of it at the time, but looking back on it I think I was being naiive. It's logical to assume that his own feelings of guilt could have triggered this behaviour, right?

mobilecore

Upon reading what you said. I was coming to the conclusion his guilty conscience could of been the issue why he was wondering where you were alot. Then you said it.

Situations like this can be tricky. There is always two sides to things like this. But if all you say is true (aka, not leaving out anything which might have made him paranoid. which from the sounds of it you are telling it the way it is) ....

You are right to think this is logical. I think he did something with his ex-fianceé. Its a clear behavior of a guilty conscience. If I may I will list 3 reasons as to why the shoe fits:

1, from the sounds of it he was not parnanoid before going away. then after he came back he was. after he told you about going to his ex-fianceé's house.
2, biggest RED FLAG! ... he told you he was at his ex-fianceé's house. By letting you know that isnt a red flag by itself, that would be fine, but combined with his behaviour afterwards that is the calling card of a person who was guilty. Guilty people tend to tell half truths to sooth their conscience. The half truth being he admitted going there. But not saying what happened.
3, your gut instinct. thats all you need to know you were right. You came to this thinking using your logic. Not by your heart being sore and putting any old way of thinking together. You used your logic and instinct. People are more times right when they sit back and think.


So Op i am sorry to say, but even I agree he did something. I'd put money on he cheated on you with his fianceé since the time frame matches I gather from what you are saying. if it wasnt his ex-fianceé. It was another women. Either way he cheated.

cafecolour

He may have cheated and it was his guilty projections. Or he may have just been the jealous type all along and it just came out then (perhaps egged on by his mates back home).

More importantly though, why are you still letting this get to you a year on? You're never going to resolve this, so you need to let it go for your own peace of mind.