Ever tempted to drink?

cantdecide

Bit sick of my permanent lack of social life/ single status. Starting to bother me now. Defo wondering if indulging would help get me out of a rut...

force majeure

Aaaa yessss sirrreeeee... you hit the nail on the old head, what to do with time on your hands and a lacking social life.
For me sad as it sounds, I run week by week planning the days, when their is work thats seen to when I have a day handy I head to a town about 20 mils away just to spend 2 hours in a gym and then in the evenings a tend to look in to doing at lest one evening class off some kind every week.
OO yes and their is always an good film on TV 2-3 times a week
To answer the question No its not a good idea to get hammered just for the point off it.

[-0-]

Drink is not the answer to being single or having social issues. Infact, it's exactly the thing that ends relationships and isolates people.

cantdecide

force majeure wrote: »

...what to do with time on your hands and a lacking social life...

[-0-] wrote: »

Drink is not the answer to being single or having social issues. Infact, it's exactly the thing that ends relationships and isolates people.

An extreme view methinks.

Well what is one to do? I'm not an anti-social freak, I'm not dull, I do stuff, I don't have self esteem problems. I just don't get drink culture and I don't get much opportunity to socialize through work any any other way. It's not funny any more like. I'm out ideas. No one can tell me that not drinking isn't a contributing factor.

Bassfish

No one could blame ya at all for being highly tempted to drink. It's such a big part of Irish society and when you don't partake in it it can seem that there's nothing else but that in the country. Do you just not bother with drink or did you have to give it u because of a problem if ya don't mind me asking? because there's very different consequences for drinking if ya previously had a problem. Believe me it can seem like you'd have all these new aspects of your life if ya drank but it really it would not be all it's cracked up to be. you wouldn't be long changing your mind after the first time you wake up with a thumping headache and a stomach that feels like a badger has died in it.
Think of it this way, it would be easier if you could just eat junk food all the time wouldn't it? just live out of take aways and chippers but i assume you don't do that because you know it's not good for ya and there is no long term advantage to it.
As for the being single thing, i was single for a couple of years and was always going out on the pull while on the piss. While i had a few memorable encounters i never met a girl worth knowing the following day. I met my current girlfriend at work and we got together because of mutual interests and outlooks and a sense of humour. You meet some randomer in a pub, the only thing you have in common is your both drunk, not to mention the inherent risks of hooking up with someone when pissed. i know a fella that got a girl pregnant on a one night stand and i know a girl with chlamyda.
Like everything, you're an adult so tis up to yourself, my advise for what it's worth is don't be under any illusion that your life can be greatly improved by drink

cantdecide

Bassfish wrote: »

...Do you just not bother with drink or did you have to give it u because of a problem if ya don't mind me asking?

Never bothered with it. The older I get, the bigger the problem it appears to be to not drink. When you're in your early twenties, it's like you don't need an excuse to go and socialize but now at 28, you meet to on the piss or else you stay at home. For me, it's the latter the overwhelming majority of the time.

Bassfish wrote: »

...you wouldn't be long changing your mind after the first time you wake up with a thumping headache and a stomach that feels like a badger has died in it...

LOL. Trust me, I only want to grease the wheels- my comfort is always my top priority:D

Bassfish wrote: »

...While i had a few memorable encounters i never met a girl worth knowing the following day. I met my current girlfriend at work and we got together because of mutual interests and outlooks and a sense of humour. You meet some randomer in a pub, the only thing you have in common is your both drunk...

Well I never meet anyone good, bad or indifferent ever. Not interested in drunken romps with randomers anyway. This is most of my frustration tbh and it looks like the odds of this changing any time soon is slim or none.

Bassfish wrote: »

...don't be under any illusion that your life can be greatly improved by drink...

I'm not pinning my hopes on one plan but I fail to see how my social life could disimprove...

L.Jenkins

It's said that some people require drink to socialise or have a good time. There's so much other craic to be getting up to. I volunteer, go to the gym and go orienteering all over the country.

unreggd

First off OP, you're perpetuating the stupid idea that you can't go out to clubs and pubs and socialise, and this IMO is your biggest issue.

You said you don't get [or have interest in] drinking culture

So why not just try it sober? either way you're gna be doin somethin you don't like anyways

I fail to see how my social life could disimprove...

Drink affects your health, and the false sense of confidence affects you in your everyday life

You said you "do stuff". What stuff? And why can't you socialise through work? You have to be proactive yourself. If nothings happening, make something happen.
Even goin to pubs, if ye go durin the week [Wed a good night] the drinkers wont be drinkin much anyways, so there wont be much difference between you being sober

Suggestions for things to do here:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055793931

cantdecide

unreggd wrote: »

First off OP, you're perpetuating the stupid idea that you can't go out to clubs and pubs and socialise, and this IMO is your biggest issue......So why not just try it sober?...

Call me stupid. That's helpful. I actually go out sober as often as I can now that you ask. The probelms is the opportunities have become fewer and fewer. and i find myself at a loose end 95% of the time these days. My friends have become very all-or-nothing with their socializing. Very few opportunities for quiet ones/ late bars.

unreggd wrote: »

...Drink affects your health....

I believe I referred to "greasing the wheels" referring to a couple of social ones. I didn't say I want to become a piss-head all of a sudden.

unreggd wrote: »

...You said you "do stuff". What stuff? And why can't you socialise through work? You have to be proactive yourself. If nothings happening, make something happen....Even goin to pubs, if ye go durin the week...

Lots of stuff. None of your beeswax:D I work in a small place where most of the others are much older.

I'm sick of being proactive. I swear if I get any more proactive, I'll end up like Edward Norton in Fight Club:D

I've tried everything else to death. The only thing I haven't tried is embracing "mainstream" socializing.

falan

cantdecide wrote: »

Bit sick of my permanent lack of social life/ single status. Starting to bother me now. Defo wondering if indulging would help get me out of a rut...

Personally i'm into stamp collecting. Theres a group of us who meet 3 times a week for coffee mornings so my social life is pretty hectic.

The point is cantdecide that you need to find something you are interested in and join a group or a class and meet like minded people. Who knows you could find the woman/man of your dreams (*chuckles).

A very dear friend of mine has just taken up trainspotting, not saying you would want to do this mind but he says his social life has taken off in a huge way.

Carpe diem...

unreggd

cantdecide wrote: »

Call me stupid. That's helpful

I didn't call you stupid, I said the idea of not being able to socialize in pubs without drink is stupid

Lots of stuff. None of your beeswax:D

I don't see how you can be doing loads of stuff and not have any social life

I've tried everything else to death. The only thing I haven't tried is embracing "mainstream" socializing.

And how do you plan to embrace it?

My point is, you come across as believing you have to drink to socialize, which is a loada crap

Karen_*

I was very very tempted to drink this week. I have been really ill and having a totally shyte time yeah I know other people do too but at least they can have a glass of wine after a hard week. Its terrible unfair!

For me anyway as an alcoholic I'm either really boring or terribly disastrous with drink on me and the only reason I have a life now is because I don't drink. Even if things aren't going well at least I have a life.

Even if you're not alcoholic a drink isn't going to transform your life and get you a girlfirend/boyfriend/. Life just sucks sometimes and its boring and nothing happens. Everyone goes through stages like that.

unreggd

Karen_* wrote: »

a drink isn't going to transform your life and get you a girlfirend/boyfriend/. Life just sucks sometimes and its boring and nothing happens. Everyone goes through stages like that.

+1

thetonynator

i dont know anyone that started drinking after the age of 18 or 19, and most who do drink start at 14/15/16. so it would seem very strange to start in your late 20's . . .at that stage a lot of people say they wish they never drank!!!