The girl I like lost her confidence: advice?

Jake LeMotta

I used to know this girl. At the time I knew her I was busy with other things so couldn't get involved in a relationship.
I caught up with her a while after though but she had totally lost her confidence/feminine appeal.

She still looked good but the reason for this loss, I think, I describe below.
Can anyone give me advice or relate to me any experience they may have on this issue?



So I knew her and she was very confident, self assured and from this stemmed, I think I can say it, a great sex appeal.
But when I caught up with her a while later, for whatever reason - the reason I think is below - she had lost this.


It just makes sense to me that the strengths of our character are based on our lifestyle right?
i.e. a challenging lifestyle makes us strong, a weak lax lifestyle does nothing for us.

Our lifestyle in turn is dictated by our mentality, our focus, what we want to achieve, what our goals and priorities are.

You know they say self destructive behavior is associated with frustration due to personal failure or shortcomings, perhaps with lifestyle, and this can be due simply to lack of application of practical wisdom or mis-placed priorities.

The college lifestyle, it's lax, it's lazy and for some, particularly those with addictive personalities, its very easy to get caught up in and loose focus on other important things in life e.g. sports, other pastimes such as reading etc, all of which are very productive.

Is it possible that she could have lost her confidence due to this reason or is it something else? Am I totally off the mark?
And more importantly, with the rectification of her lifestyle, can her confidence return? Experience on this matter?

The reason for the change of lifestyle from a strong to weak, IMO; possible disillusionment with the challenging lifestyle that makes her strong.
Getting simply caught up in the college type life, loosing focus, or misplacing her priorities. i.e. having a good time ahead of maintaining strength of character, possibly due to her unawareness of the above, naivety etc.


Anyway the reason I ask is because when someone enters into a relationship with no confidence in themselves or what they do, they can bring with them, I feel, certain insecurities. Such as insecurities with their body, jealousy etc.
And this may adversely affect both in the relationship so is obviously something to be aware of.


Cheers in advance

P.s. if anyone finds that confusing or vague please feel free to ask me to elaborate.

Kevster

I did indeed find it a bit vague because you haven't structured it too well. From what I gather, you think that your friend has lost her confidence because she no longer 'flaunts' her sexuality and has shifted her interests to different things, right? As I skim over your post once more, I cannot see much provided evidence for her having lost her confidence. All I can see is that she has merely changed the way she lives her life. Who can say with accuracy that she has actually become less confident? People change in life, and maybe now she has set herself new goals. You shouldn't start sounding alarms because of this.

If you have actual evidence of her lack of confidence, then tell it.

Kevin