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Indecisive and beyond depressed

  • 12-03-2010 10:31pm
    #1
    purity87
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭


    Hey Im new so bare with me. I have major issues in my life now that have affected my concept of a happy life.
    I have a good job, a car, great family but one hell of a nasty relationship which Im afraid to let go due to the impact it will have on my already crap life.
    I am not seeking sympathy but merely advice.
    I have been seeing this guy for almost a year. Our relationship started out fine he was kind and sweet but it changed. I found out he had an embarrassing past ( The ex cheated and he spent 2000 thousand on gifts to get her back) She was laughing at his sadness as she grabbed anyhting he gave her. I ogten think there is no way he would spend that on me.
    In their 3 years of sating he was in 20.000 debt. because of her.
    Yes his past has nothing to do with me but I cringe thinking of it.
    I feel he likes her more than me.
    He still speaks to her on msn and has told me to deal with it when I pleaded for him to stop.

    Im too scarec to break up with him as I have no friends and he is my only social outlet please help


Comments

  • #2
    vicecreamsundae
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 793 ✭✭✭vicecreamsundae


    i really don't think the fact he spent all that money on her means he likes her more. he is just [thankfully!] not that stupid anymore.
    and you can't really demand an other half cut contact with an ex if they are friends.

    however the fact that you describe the relationship as nasty, and as a major issue that impacts your happiness has me really worried. it doesn't sound like you enjoy your relationship at all.
    and saying you're afraid to break up with him because he is you're only friend implies you really don't love this situation at all. that's a terrible reason to stay with someone.

    i'm sure there's a lot more going on than you mentioned, but honestly i think you should really reassess whether you should be going out with him or not.
    you said you have a good job, a car and a great family, so i think with a little effort you could easily make new friends.
    take up a new activity or class, try to reconnect with some old friends you may have lost touch with, even look online for meetup groups... being entirely dependent on your boyfriend for a social life is not good for you, especially when he doesn't seem to be making you very happy anyway!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Op. First of all let me just say I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going all that well for you. I know what it's like to have a run of bad luck and I also know that things always do get better. Just in thge relationship though I don't think that it's healthy to be so dependent on one person. You need to be independent and live your life seperately from him. Maybe try joining a club or start doing classes in a gym as a social outlet. You'll be surprised how firendly people can be if you give them a chance. I'd end the relationship and move on. It'll be better for you in the long run and it will make you happier in the long run also. Best of luck with everything though.


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