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Material Miracle

  • 12-03-2010 2:25pm
    #1
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,356 ✭✭✭


    A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
    All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."

    Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming
    voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful
    to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish".

    The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive
    over anytime I want to."

    The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic.
    Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking.
    The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific!
    The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it
    is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
    Take a little more time and think of another wish,
    a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

    The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said,
    "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times.
    All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive.
    I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how
    they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me
    the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say
    "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy."

    After a few minutes God said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

    The man approached a very beautiful woman in a very large
    supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here
    in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

    "Why?" she asked.

    "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife
    appears out of nowhere."

    A Religious Hunter

    A man was out hunting. He just happened to be hunting bears.
    As he trudged through the forest looking for the beasts,
    he came upon a large and steep hill.! Thinking that perhaps
    there would be bear on the other side of the hill, he climbed
    up the steep incline and, just as he was pulling himself up
    over the last outcropping of rocks, a huge bear met him nose
    to nose.

    The bear roared fiercely. The man was so scared that he lost
    his balance and fell down the hill with the bear not far behind.
    As he tumbled down the hill, the man lost his gun. When he
    finally stopped at the bottom, he found that he had a broken leg.
    Escape was impossible and so the man, who h! ad never been
    particularly religious (in fact this just happened to be a Sunday morning),
    prayed, "God, if you will make this bear a Christian I will be happy
    with whatever lot you give me for the rest of my life."

    The bear was no more than three feet away from the man when
    it stopped dead in its tracks... looked up to the heavens
    quizzically... and then fell to its knees and prayed in a
    loud voice, "O Lord, bless this food of which I am about to partake."


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