Hands

LegacyUser

I called by my gf's the other night, I hang out there quiet a bit and had her spare key so I let myself in as I knew she was home....she wasn't expecting me...

Anyway, I walked in and she was on one couch, and her flatmate was on the other but she was holding his hand...The music was pretty loud on the sound system so they wouldn't have heard me entering....

He let go and said 'oh you can do hand holding duties now'...and went off to make a phone call...


I made little of it, but I asked her a few weeks later as it bugged me and she said it was just because the movie was so scary she needed to hold someone....

Is that normal for girls, she is 21....

rantyface

If they're good friends I don't see the big deal.

krudler

Ehh, it may be nothing, I watched a horror movie with a girl I know and have never had any romantic interest in and she spent most of it with her head buried in my shoulder and grabbing onto my hand, some people are wussies when it comes to scary movies

i-digress

Slightly OT, but what were you doing letting yourself in when she wasn't expecting you?! Even people who are in relationships need to have manners and respect each other's space!

seamus

If she was cheating on you, do think that all they'd be doing is sitting there holding hands?

Yes, this is normal. Drop it.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. But why do some people feel the need to be so self-righteous?



Drop it?
Is that a normal way to speak to someone.

And yes I let myself in all the time, it's not an issue for us, so I'm sure you'll cope.

kraggy

seamus wrote: »

If she was cheating on you, do think that all they'd be doing is sitting there holding hands?

Yes, this is normal. Drop it.

Holding hands is a pre-cursor to other things.

Unless they are good friends for a good while, I'd have my doubts that it was innocent. Especially at that age when people are horny as hell.

seamus

wfwfdfsadfsd wrote: »

Drop it?
Is that a normal way to speak to someone.

You've been worrying about it for weeks now. You're not going to do yourself or your relationship any favours by worrying about it any further, because it's not worth worrying about.

Holding hands is a pre-cursor to other things.

Yes, when you're 12.
They're flatmates and presumably good friends, so I wouldn't make anything of her looking for some support while watching a scary movie.

Cheap Thrills!

Totally inappropriate.

She is taking the pi$$ OP. Give her her marching orders.

kraggy

seamus wrote: »

You've been worrying about it for weeks now.
Yes, when you're 12.
They're flatmates and presumably good friends, so I wouldn't make anything of her looking for some support while watching a scary movie.

So 21 year olds just start stripping off in front of each other and then have sex straight away. Straight in, no kissin like?

Not saying it's definitely looking guilty, but at that age, I'd have my doubts.

And a 12 year old might need a hand held during a horror, not a fúcking 21 year old.

seamus

kraggy wrote: »

And a 12 year old might need a hand held during a horror, not a fúcking 21 year old.

I actually don't know how to respond to that without potentially insulting you, except to say that you're completely wrong. 21 year old women do often genuinely get scared watching scary movies. 41 year old women too.

kraggy

seamus wrote: »

I actually don't know how to respond to that without potentially insulting you, except to say that you're completely wrong. 21 year old women do often genuinely get scared watching scary movies. 41 year old women too.

Insult me all you want, but it would just show your lack of conversational skills if you had to resort to it.

Let me ask you this, what about the guy leaving suddenly to "make a phone call"?

Cheap Thrills!

Heres the thing. If you know you are going to get so scared watching a film that you will be compelled to hold someones hand and your boyfriend is not around then you don't watch the movie.

Simple as that. Holding hands with people of the opposite sex is inappropriate when you are in a relationship.

Women are autonomous people with choice making capabilities not passive children that have to be comforted and protected against the world.

gavney1

OP, I don't think you should be made feel like a crazy, obsessive, jealous bf, like most ppl are suggesting here.

HOWEVER, it's not a huge amount to go on, so I certainly wouldn't confront her or him. I think any normal human would be suspicious, but I'd put your suspicions to one side, unless u see any other reason to question.


It could be just that I only have a guy's perspective. I've never felt the need to hold anyone's hand during a horror movie. Maybe some women do, I dunno.

i-digress

Couch Carrot wrote: »

The music was pretty loud on the sound system so they wouldn't have heard me entering....

she said it was just because the movie was so scary she needed to hold someone....

Is that normal for girls, she is 21....

To be honest OP, this is what I would worry about. Were they listening to music, or watching a movie? If they weren't watching a movie, then she's lying to you. Lying is something that would worry me, not the handholding.

As to holding hands, whether that's an issue probably depends on your girlfriend's personality. If she's a tactile person, always hugging people and touching their shoulder, then it's probably innocent.

On the other hand, if she never touches other people's arms during conversations, doesn't like people (other than you) hugging her then it might not be innocent.

It kind of depends on what type of person she is.

i-digress

I'm a 23 year old girl, and I'd never hold a man's hand during the scary part of a movie, unless he was my OH, or I liked him.

But I'm just one person.

Is there anything else that would make you suspicious?

LegacyUser

it's inappropriate -
at best it's disrespectful to you (would she like if she walked in on you holding hands with a girl) or worst she is cheating.

I'd be cross to say the least

LegacyUser

It was a movie alright, sorry I meant the movie score not music

I don't know what to think...I had some jealousy issues before...but that was my own thing...so I have told myself not to worry,

I just thought it was odd...she is very tactile, yes...but what can I do, I don't really have much else to go on...

I am thinking the bottom line is it's not on, but that I am willing to accept her account of events....

He has a girlfriend too, I just can't imagine me holding a girls hand during a movie and not thinking something of it....she's only there a few months they would be friendly but not majorly, ie it wasn't her best mate or something.

Tender Hoop

She is riding him, plain and simple.

Slut.

Xiney

Tender Hoop wrote: »

She is riding him, plain and simple.

Slut.

Please have a read of the forum charter - this post is offensive. I have infracted you, any further breaches of the charter may earn you a ban from the forum.

Ta,

Xiney

seamus

kraggy wrote: »

Let me ask you this, what about the guy leaving suddenly to "make a phone call"?

He was giving them some space. No guy likes to be sitting on a couch with another guy and his girlfriend feeling like a pleb.

He may also have felt a bit uncomfortable about the hand-holding thing, you never know, the flatmate could be carrying a torch for her.

battser

I dont think this is normal in this scenario! It would be if it was a best friend for years and years then I wouldn't think much of it but OP I would defo have my wits about me if I were in your situation. Seamus I have to disagree with your reasoning! This is a dude she is only living with a few of months!

I don't think it's normal. It's crossing a line. As for 'they'd be doing more than holding hands', well how does he know they're not? Or that they won't be soon? It's not as if they're lifelong friends or anything.

finbarrk

I would say there is more than holding hands going on.