Woah, talk about bad timing :(

whatausername

background: knew girl vaguely as in to say hello and quick chat, thought it nothing, just friendship only, but three weeks ago we kissed. ;and spent the night chating and hanging out. so i grew a pair (for once) and asked for her number.

So anyway have met up five or six times on dates, one which was a night out. Unbelievble girl. like our dates if you wanna call them that are 5 hrs plus generally, and we talk constantly for them, and never repeat ourselves. we also have each other in stitches too. all well and good.
but the prob is she is going away in sept for a yr abroad, ie, study in america. and she has a 4 week holiday booked for mid june.

Now my question is what do i do, do i keep it going till the last or should i slowly walk away?? i know she doesnt want anything too serious but she acts very much like she wants more but says she doesnt, i.e. she hasnt hid anything from her friends and they keep telling us we make such a good couple and she doesnt deny it. now i know i cant change her plans cause im not some wierdo, but where should i go with this or how to go about it? do i keep it going to the last?? the problem here is i have a feeling i could fall for her big time, this doesn happen alot, it has been a yr since my last girlfriend, and when i have the confidence i do not struggle to find a woman i just loose interest quickly or even at the begining.

Im just at a loss at where to go, and also kicking myself for not asking her out a long time ago!!!

Liam Byrne

Quit panicking and enjoy what's there......

Without sounding pessimistic (just being realistic) you've no guarantee that it'll last beyond June or Sept at this stage, so why miss the chance of enjoying the time in-between ?

Taltos

I think you have to ask yourself which do you want to do more?

1. Have a wonderful few months and then suffer the extreme loss of someone you will have grown to care about. Plus be tormented by thoughts of what she is doing abroad - despite whatever you agree to do.

or.

2. Be totally honest with her. I really like you. I think this is going somewhere but the timing is just all wrong. It is not fair to you or to me to pursue this right now as much as I want to. I will just hold you back while you are away and in turn I will be a shambles.

Just be v careful here. One thing to also consider - could this impending move be heightening both of your emotions - we all love angst - even that which if we had thought about it we could avoid. A year is not that long apart - not with skype and all that - but it is also a lifetime of new adventures; new interests.

Is there anyway you could join her? There used to be a holiday visa you could get - but you need to show a job to return to and sufficient money to survive over there. If not - then maybe it might be best right now to be easy on both of you - a move like this is traumatic enough (if she is intent on going) without making it any harder. Just be honest with yourself and with her....

Victor

Carpe Diem.

whatausername

Thanks guys.
Ya i know there are a million possibilities to it, and that there is a good while to go still. Im not one to do the whole relationships at all at all but this girl is the first in a long time that i think theres more than just a fling. Like we are young at the same time though, im 23 and shes only 20.
Im just at a loss really, like one side is a year is a long time but then again she would be back for a few weeks at xmas and i would be visiting the states in march next year to visit a friend anyway!

A female perspective would be appreciated. or any thoughts on the whole thing, like i know it could all change in the morning. Everything has been mutual as in contact between us is fairly constant and when we are together it feels like theres more than just "scoring" as i have said she is not afraid to bring me into her social circle and isnt afraid about mine, and when we are in these situations she generally holds my hand and keeps very close.
I dunno, as i have said im not one to really partake in these things, like an example, have had two relationships in my life, one at 18 for 6mths and one two yrs ago that lastsed just short of a year, other than those two i have never had one, and that was by choice! so this is a little new to me as i fell into both relationships so to speak.

Taltos

Ask her what she would like.
Right now you are only operating on 50% of the info you need.

Personally though I would go for it - that way - if it does not work out well - at least you will not have any regrets. But if it does work out - the stories you will have for later...

whatausername

Hey guys thanks for the responses.

I slept on what ye said and the relationships progressed a bit more, we are hanging out more than i thought we would and its no longer just a case that its if you want to say "kept behind closed doors" she has been displaying far more affection when in public, during the day and about college, as I have said before im a complete fool when it comes to relationships, well more so reading relationships. I think there is more there than just a fling from just what i see, like she was out last nite with her friends and i was with mine, seperate pubs, didn see each other for the night and she kept texting me all nite, and then came across town to just see me, she wasnt drunk and to be perfectly honest i didn think that she would do that, i thought she would have stayed with her friends!

I dunno, i think i could be using this as more of a vent than anything, sorry if it seems like that, but any advice people have on this would be fantstic.
Like this morning she was talking to me saying she wished we had met at a good while back rather than at this late stage.

AnonoBoy

Enjoy it.

Honestly that's the best advice you can get right now. You've met a girl that makes you happy, enjoy your time with her.

She's going away in September for a year, god knows what that will bring. She may come back and fall right back into your arms, one or the other of you might meet someone else, who knows?

But for now, she's here and she digs you. So go with it. Because you know what? You'll spend far too much of your life looking back on missed opportunities and regrets, don't let this be another. Even if it only lasts until this autumn there's a lot to be said for having a brief wonderful fling with someone to look back fondly on in years to come.