Is their light at the end of the tunnel?

LegacyUser

Hi All,

Just posting here to see if someone out there can give me some advice, anything would be much appreciated!

I am a 21 year old female and I'm recieving psyciatric help at the moment as a voluntary outpatient. I was referred by my GP due to some disturbing behaviour....basically I've been pressing the self-destruct buttom for the last year or so and have been feeling really down for more than three years. I've been medicated for exactly a year now and have still felt no better.

It is only in recent months that I have been recieving help from a local team up until that I was seeing counsellors and my GP and feeling as if I'm going around in circles.

In my younger years, I witnessed alot of violence in the family home. Some of which was absolutely terrifying and still is. What I mean by 'still is' is basically when I'm at home during the weekends, I see this replaying over and over even thought they may just be having a simple verbal arguement. Its the same during the week, when I'm not there it haunts me, I see it particularly every night before I try to go to sleep and thats generally when I push the self-destruct button.

I'm trying various avenues to stop cutting myself but I simply can't! It's like I have an addiction. I know in my head that I need to move on, but in my heart it's like this is the only way I can get through.

I have basically thrown my college life down the drain as a result. There are days where I just can't/won't face the world. I try and do some work at home like assignments etc to get me through as it worked before, however, I can't see it working again! I am physically pushing myself out the door to meet counsellors, GP, psyciatrists etc.

Does anyone have any advice to offer me?

Stu

You poor thing. I've been in a similiar situation when i was younger. My parents constantly verbally abusing eachother and me and my siblings being bullied by my father. It messed me up psycholigically and even though i am in my 30's now i still feel like the years of abuse and constat negativity in the home have shaped my view of the world and i prefer to spend most of my time alone which was the only time i found refuge when i was a kid and teenager.

Firstly, tell your parents you refuse to visit them if they argue or abuse each other in front of you. If they can't keep the peace after this ten just stay away. Its not worth the hassle. You need to look after yourself and stay away from negative people even if they are family members.

Find something to focus on, a hobbie, gym, friendship etc. Whatever it is that makes you feel positive or you enjoy doing. Don't feel guilty for standing up against your parents or aybody else who has a negative impact on your life. .

Odaise Gaelach

I'm afraid all the advice I can really offer you is this:

lost274 wrote: »

Is their light at the end of the tunnel?

Yes. Always.