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i think its over

  • 09-03-2010 12:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    dont really know where to start, im feeling incredibly raw. Ive been with my boyf for about 9 months and we've had an incredibly close relationship...really really intense with a good few twists and turns. I've had my doubts sometimes but I know that I am totally in love with him and do not want anyone else.
    I feel like I've screwed it up, he allowed me to become to involved in his life and personal business, almost mammy-style...he has some phsychological problems too and i have taken them all in my stride. i dont think anyone else would ever show him the devotion and patience that i have. ive put myself in jepoardy for him, too in terms of friends, family etc.
    SO just as I am finding the balance he starts to freeze me out and is saying he does not want me any more. Bear in mind that he has done this before and reversed it, telling me that it was a huge mistake and that he loves me. He has told me in the past that he wants children with me, that he wants to settle down with me in the future....bear in mind i am 21!
    I know why he is doing this, because he is sick of fights with me over mundane things, due to the fact that i tried to mammy him..i realise now this was wrong but im terrified its too late. all i want, more than anything in the world, is to get back to normal with him. even just have a great night out together and take things from there. my heart is breaking, i don't know what to do. i've never loved anyone so much and i miss everything about him.


Comments

  • #2
    MelanieC
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,883 ✭✭✭MelanieC


    If he has psychological problems and as you say has put you in jeopardy are you sure a relationship is the best thing for him or you at the moment?

    I know you say you love him but then you also admit you were more like a mammy to him, giving him more patience and devotion than any regular gf would have been prepared to offer.

    Maybe you need him more than love him? As in, he is vulnerable and unstable and needs to be cared for and you like to fill this role - maybe you need him to need you for your own self esteem?

    Co-dependence is not really love. I think this guy needs to sort his mental health out for himself before he is capable of really loving or being loved.


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