Trying to reach out to old friends but weren't so close - How?

Anon_IRL.Joe

Hi. I've came back to live in Ireland for a year now. I used to live here about five or six years ago and went to national school for three years. The thing is, I've never been great at making friends so I had some difficulty in that. My neighbour's son and I have been friends for quite some time, since we were both at around six or seven years old. We got on fine but because I was constantly moving back and forth, it felt a little awkward at times. Anyway, the very awkward part about the situation is that we haven't met, even though I've been here for a year. We've talked on bebo or facebook and I'd say to him to definitely come over some day and vice versa.

I'm sure that in terms of the friendship there, we should be able to get things back to the old days.

The thing is though, I've had other friends as well. As I said, I've never been good at making friends so I've never had any close friends. There were a couple guys I used to spend time with a lot when we were at school but we only met a few times outside of school in those few years really. I'm quite a different person now to how I used to be as I'm much more gutsy and more open to making friends but I just don't know how to handle the situation with my friends from national school. I suppose the really bad part on my side was that I basically broke off contact for the five years I was away. My intentions weren't to break off contact but like I said, I have difficulty in making friends so I wasn't really the kind of guy who'd keep in touch. Now that I'm back and I do realise the value of those friendships I've had with them before, I'd like to meet up with them on a more regular basis and hopefully, be a better friend.

I've went searching for them on facebook and found most of them. I just don't know how to approach the situation after that. I'm aware that a good way is to suggest meeting up for a coffee or something to catch up but its just, since we weren't close friends before, I'm not really sure how they'd perceive it. I've briefly spoken to them here and there, asking how they're getting on and that we should see about meeting up but I'm just feeling very awkward and nervous that if I do set something up about how to deal with the situation when I meet them. So can anyone offer any advice?

cafecolour

TBH just because you knew them in school doesn't mean you'll necessarily have much in common now - even if you had been close you may have grown apart by now.

Have coffee, and do a a bit of reminiscing, and if you hit it off hang out again, but if you don't, don't try and force it. I'm assuming you're looking to make friends here again, and starting with the lads you know from school seems like a good place to start. While that may be so, don't get too invested in it, and make sure you're expanding your social circle with people you don't know (through clubs, flatmates, work, etc.)

I hope that wasn't discouraging - I've actually met up and become friends again with old school mates in similar circumstances. I've also met up with friends I was close to in school and found nothing much in common but some shared memories.