Are they interested or just looking an ego boost?

G-Money

I posted here about being out at my local niteclub on Sat night and wondering if the barmaid was interested. However there was another situation I want some thoughts on.

I went to the niteclub on my own and I'd been to the bar and got a couple of drinks. I was walking around and see this sort of high table thing, the kind of place where you can stand and set your drinks down. There were two guys already sitting/standing there but it was a big enough table so I stayed towards the end so as to not be in their space and I was minding my own business, having some drinks and enjoying the music.

After a short while, two girls appeared, one blonde and one brunette. I'm not sure where they came from but they ended up stopping at the table and were very close to me. The brunette in particular was no more than about 2 feet from me dancing and stuff with her friend. At one point she kind of started dancing up against me, rubbing against me. I didn't really know how to react to this so I just kind of smiled and minded my own business.

After what seemed like ages, their friends showed up and they stayed there for ages. I'm also pretty sure that the brunette took a picture of me. She had a camera and took a pic of her friend who was in front of her and I'm 99.9% I seen her turn towards me and the camera flash and her friend would definitely have been out of the shot.

Some more time passed and eventually the girls left and went to another part of the club. I know they weren't with the guys who were at that table as they didn't even say two words to them. It was obvious the guys just happened to be there. I also don't know if these girls had been at this table before and just came back there after going to the toilet or the dance floor or something.

I suppose I'm wondering was the brunette sort of coming onto me or was she just some sort of club bimbo out to get some attention? I'm so wary of girls kind of coming up and dancing around and as soon as you show them the slightest bit of attention or interest, they wander off with their ego's boosted. It's at the point now where I basically almost blank any girl who comes up and starts dancing near me or anything as I feel they're just looking some attention but I suspect this carpet bombing tactic of ignoring them isn't the smartest idea either and I'm rejecting probably a few girls who maybe are interested.

How can I tell if they're trying to get me to notice them/approach them or if they're just out to get their ego's massaged?

dblennon

why do you care if they wanted they're ego's stroked.

You will never find now either way!

Why didn't you spark a conversation with one of the girls?? *not the one dancing with you BTW*

LegacyUser

you seem way too cautious - you were in a nightclub and a girl starts dancing with you or coming onto you - who cares if she wanted an ego boost. Just have fun and go with it - dont take it all so serious. As the other poster said - you will never know now either way.

LegacyUser

sounds to me like she was just dancing next to you and hardly noticed you to be honest.
I go out with my girlfriends and often places are packed and you end up dancing where ever theres a bit of space and dont notice if people are just standing/sitting around that area.
and if you caught her eye and she smiled probally didnt mean anything, i smile at people when i make eye contact to avoid any akwardness, if i fancy them or not.

and the whole taking photos thing, well girls do that. sounds to me like you're having an ego boost by thinking they were all over you to ''boost their ego''.

Taltos

Hi GM.

Few ways to approach this.

1. As you did - and nothing will ever come of it.
2. be a bit more welcoming - yes you might be stoking ego's, you might end up giving your table away, you might end up buying drinks, but you might also end up meeting someone worth knowing.

All depends on how you weigh up the risk. Added to that - if you are going to a niteclub to ignore women you approach you - why precisely are you going?

Sometimes it is worth taking a risk - I can understand the cautious approach - cause that was me too. But sometimes it is ok to let your guard down a little. Don't let your hopes get too high - that way you will not be crushed - but you might be a little surprised as well, when/if you someone does turn out to be ok.

legend365

Taltos wrote: »

Don't let your hopes get too high - that way you will not be crushed - but you might be a little surprised as well, when/if you someone does turn out to be ok.

Plenty of coal in the mine, but only 1 or 2 diamonds

G-Money

copon1 wrote: »

sounds to me like you're having an ego boost by thinking they were all over you to ''boost their ego''.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Sure I spend most of my time thinking girls are repulsed by me, so when situations like the above occur, I wonder if perhaps they're interested.

Also, the club wasn't packed at all, there was tons of space.

gavney1

OP, I used to be very like you up to a couple years ago, and thankfully (please don't take offense) I'm not anymore.

Just chill out. There's nothing wrong with being friendly back to a girl in a niteclub, whether she's interested or not. Even if she IS just looking for an ego-boost - do you really care? If it turns out that she reacts like a bit** to a friendly "hello", then that's HER problem, not yours.

mood

gavney1 wrote: »

OP, I used to be very like you up to a couple years ago, and thankfully (please don't take offense) I'm not anymore.

Just chill out. There's nothing wrong with being friendly back to a girl in a niteclub, whether she's interested or not. Even if she IS just looking for an ego-boost - do you really care? If it turns out that she reacts like a bit** to a friendly "hello", then that's HER problem, not yours.

Agree. You need to stop over thinking things and enjoy your self.