Cul de sac, no way back

LegacyUser

I spent most of last year attending counselling sessions for depression. In the beginning, they were excellent, and I came to a very good understanding of where my depression stems from, and what brought me to the point in life I am at today. However, towards the end, I was beginning to revisit the same ground, and going round in circles. I finished the counselling, as it had brought me as far as it could.

The depression remains. The physical problems in my life, which are not individually much, but added together are difficult to deal with, are constants that in the current climate I have not the means to change. I am living a life I am constrained to at the moment, but far from the happy life I would like to live.

Take work. I am blessed to have a part time job when so many have none. But it is a physically demanding job, involving long, tiring days, interspersed with days when I don't know if there is going to be work and pay at all. Every day I work, another bill is paid. But every day I work, is another day of my life I will never get back again, and I seem to be trading the days of my life simply in hock to a life and an economy which is pointless in the greater scheme of things. What a waste of the one life I am given.

I would love a new life, doing everything entirely different. A start from scratch. I made an awful lot of mistakes, which I realise now with hindsight and maturity. But I cannot do that. I have no third level education, no partner, poor income, and a great debt which is more than my meagre income can cover. This means there is no money to do anything at all other than try to cover the bare essentials as best I can. Even the counselling sessions last year cost money I didn't have.

I feel like I have walked myself and my life into a trap. I cannot step backwards out of the trap, without it snapping shut and cutting me in half. I have painted myself into a corner. Every day lived this way is another day of my short life wasted. And I remain depressed.

Victor

Do you have any support structures in place? Have you been to you GP recently to review things?

I imagine going from a situation where you are in counselling to a situation were you are not is a big step and its perfectly natural to feel ill at ease. I realise there is a financial and emotional cost in counselling, but there are also similar costs in not having any support. You might consider contacting AWARE or similar support groups that provide low cost counselling and group support.

tenchi-fan

Consider another counsellor, one who can give you new ways of looking at things.