Pointless

cson

I'm after indulging myself in a packet of Thai Sweet Chili's - very nom nom btw. Horror of horrors I'd forgotten to bring my book so I ended up reading the literature that was on the packet. Apparently it's "made with real ingredients".

Well imagine my relief. I can sleep safe in the knowledge that Walkers don't trip it off to Never Never Land for their flavourings and potatoes. Made with real ingredients..... as opposed to what; imaginery ones?

Seriously; who gets paid to come up with this ****? Cos I want that job. Anyone else got any pointless blurb you've seen written on food packets or any packets of anything in fact?

biko

"Contents are hot" on takeaway coffee cups.

littlefriend

Not food but Vanish for clothes 'with special stain seeker technology'.

Gone Drinking

Techron cleans your engine

cson

littlefriend wrote: »

Not food but Vanish for clothes 'with special stain seeker technology'.

Jesus CIA much? :eek:

m@cc@

cson wrote: »

I'm after indulging myself in a packet of Thai Sweet Chili's - very nom nom btw. Horror of horrors I'd forgotten to bring my book so I ended up reading the literature that was on the packet. Apparently it's "made with real ingredients".

Well imagine my relief. I can sleep safe in the knowledge that Walkers don't trip it off to Never Never Land for their flavourings and potatoes. Made with real ingredients..... as opposed to what; imaginery ones?

Seriously; who gets paid to come up with this ****? Cos I want that job. Anyone else got any pointless blurb you've seen written on food packets or any packets of anything in fact?

I seen some pointless blurb written in an opening post once.........

CrazyRabbit

Warning: Threads posted in After Hours may be pointless.

stovelid

The word newspaper prominently displayed on copies of the SINDO.

littlefriend

cson wrote: »

Jesus CIA much? :eek:

Sorry, I don't know what that means?

AnonoBoy

littlefriend wrote: »

Not food but Vanish for clothes 'with special stain seeker technology'.

That's actual technology man. There's stain seeking nanobots in Vanish. It's all very high grade military industrial complex cleaning technology.

stovelid wrote: »

The word newspaper prominently displayed on copies of the SINDO.

That's just false advertising surely?

neilthefunkeone

Bifidus Digestivum....

I can do science me!!!

alwaysadub

On a bottle of bleach,'caution, contains bleach'

Super-Rush

On a packt of Smoke XXXX "not for human consumtion"

Dr. Feelgood

"may contain nuts" on packets of peanuts is pretty pointless.

Danbo!

"Do not read while box is open" is written on the bottom of boxes of Celebrations sweets.

"Do not operate heavy machinery after consumption" on Boots' version of Calpol under-six's

krudler

Dr. Feelgood wrote: »

"may contain nuts" on packets of peanuts is pretty pointless.

I'd be pretty pissed if i bought peanuts that DIDNT contain nuts tbh

"do not iron clothes while being worn" yes that is a real iron warning label, never underestimate the influence one moron can have on the rest of us

bazmaiden

Warning: Not for human consumption - Any item of head shop paraphernalia

NothingMan

I do feel that all these new pro biotic type yogurt drinks just steal their new "ingredient" names from the Harry Potter books. Bifidus activus regularus! *waves wand at cholesterol*.

Cookie_Monster

Contains Milk

On a milk carton :rolleyes:

jokettle

I just bought a pair of running shoes and was told "scientists at NASA were paid €1m each to design the best running shoes and this is what they produced!" I had just paid for them; delivering a ridiculous sales pitch after making the sale is pointless at best and bloody annoying at worst!

Sports brands have too much money and NASA has far too much free time.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Cookie_Monster

jokettle wrote: »

I just bought a pair of running shoes and was told "scientists at NASA were paid €1m each to design the best running shoes and this is what they produced!" I had just paid for them; delivering a ridiculous sales pitch after making the sale is pointless at best and bloody annoying at worst!

Sports brands have too much money and NASA has far too much free time.

great, give me €1m to design a shoe and I'll go out and buy a pair of aisics, take off the label and hand them over. €999,860 up on the deal

Theta

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

great, give me €1m to design a shoe and I'll go out and buy a pair of aisics, take off the label and hand them over. €999,860 up on the deal

140 euro to buy a pair of runners? Id want at least 2m to do that job then, think about it man your only left with €999,860

Catari Jaguar

Children's cough medicine: May cause drowsiness. Do not opearte heavy machinery. :rolleyes:

Theta

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Children's cough medicine: May cause drowsiness. Do not opearte heavy machinery. :rolleyes:

I can see a reason to this. Its to stop people going. The childrens one doesn't have the warning on it. Maybe ill just take that one and go into work!

artanevilla

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Children's cough medicine: May cause drowsiness. Do not opearte heavy machinery. :rolleyes:

What if you're Luke and 5 and your dad's Bruce Lee, who drives you round in his JCB?

KnifeWRENCH

"Serving suggestions" on boxes of some foods, where the picture just shows the food on a plate.

Serving suggestion = a plate! :rolleyes:

MistyCheese

Magnus wrote: »

"Contents are hot" on takeaway coffee cups.

Now that really is stupid. What about two hours later? Are the contents still hot?

Theta

MistyCheese wrote: »

Now that really is stupid. What about two hours later? Are the contents still hot?

THIS is the reason for that warning!

Read the verdict section!

dr gonzo

I saw a dog bed box that had "dog not included" on it. A proud moment for the human race.

Dunjohn

On a Star Wars space ship in a toy shop: "Toy displayed in a fantasy setting."

Also, can somebody explain to me precisely how one "takes" something internally? On a bottle of TipEx I bought earlier, it said, "if taken internally, consult a doctor." WTF does that mean?

jd007

The warnings on cigarette packets seem pretty pointless imo.

tman

"Alergy warning - made in a factory that handles fish"

On a ****ing packet of salmon!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

Semele

On a bottle of wine:

"Enjoy on its own or with friends"

With its friends??? What moron came up with that?

Mike 1972

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Contains Milk

On a milk carton :rolleyes:

"Harmful to bees" on a tin of Insect spray

dr gonzo wrote: »

I saw a dog bed box that had "dog not included" on it. A proud moment for the human race.

the Argos catalouge really takes the bisucit

"Ipod not included" on all the Ipod accessories
"Contents not included" beside pictures of beer coolers and money boxes

Oddly though no "Car not included" with the Roof racks or even "Baby not included" beside all the pictures of toys/cots/prams/etc

jokettle wrote: »

"scientists at NASA were paid €1m each to design the best running shoes and this is what they produced!"

Why the fup are NASA designing running shoes ?

Are they trying to reduce emissions from rockets by having astronauts run to the moon ?