Need some advice on this

LegacyUser

long story short:

I liked/loved a guy for a long while. We were together for a few months. He broke it up with me. We contacted later, he wanted friendship. I did have feelings towards him, but I knew he was having so much problems and I want a more stable guy who loves me (and I love of course), so I decided to move on and kept him a friend.

Then he disappeared again, cut himself off. I was worried abt him 'cos he's kind of having alcohol and depression problem with pressure from work and living alone.

Then he contacted my friend and gave my friend his new contact and asked my friend to pass it on to me. He said he lost all the contacts so could not contact us. It's been abt 2 months we haven't contacted.

I am now keeping regular intensed contact with a new guy that met on net from NI as a friend with potential to go further. If things are OK on both parties, I would like to start with him. I am in my early 30s so would prefer to settle down. Anyway, just want to say, I want to move on from my ex. and have actions to go with.

I still care about my ex. and I do love him. I want him to know that there are people in the world who care about him. I haven't contacted him yet but I decided I will contact him. I want to think clearly before I contact him and not to be hurt again or to hurt him in ways I dont know. He is that kind of person who is very difficult/sensitive because of the family background, abusive alcoholic parent and now alcohol and no jobs etc.

What do I need to be careful of? What mindset should I be in?

Um, I know my questions are a bit vague. Anyway, thanks in advance for reading this thread and appreciate any comments.

Angus Og

If it's just about being friends, all you have to do is contact him and act like a friend. You sound slightly worried about how he's going to feel about you having someone new, but that won't be an issue. You don't have to tell your ex unless you think it will be an issue.

Be careful of old feelings for him, and any he has for you. You don't want him thinking that you have any interest in romance, so keep it to friendship. If there is the slightest hint of being more than friends, you'll have to tell him you aren't interested.

hollis12

OTHER wrote: »

long story short:

I liked/loved a guy for a long while. We were together for a few months. He broke it up with me. We contacted later, he wanted friendship. I did have feelings towards him, but I knew he was having so much problems and I want a more stable guy who loves me (and I love of course), so I decided to move on and kept him a friend.

Then he disappeared again, cut himself off. I was worried abt him 'cos he's kind of having alcohol and depression problem with pressure from work and living alone.

Then he contacted my friend and gave my friend his new contact and asked my friend to pass it on to me. He said he lost all the contacts so could not contact us. It's been abt 2 months we haven't contacted.

I am now keeping regular intensed contact with a new guy that met on net from NI as a friend with potential to go further. If things are OK on both parties, I would like to start with him. I am in my early 30s so would prefer to settle down. Anyway, just want to say, I want to move on from my ex. and have actions to go with.

I still care about my ex. and I do love him. I want him to know that there are people in the world who care about him. I haven't contacted him yet but I decided I will contact him. I want to think clearly before I contact him and not to be hurt again or to hurt him in ways I dont know. He is that kind of person who is very difficult/sensitive because of the family background, abusive alcoholic parent and now alcohol and no jobs etc.

What do I need to be careful of? What mindset should I be in?

Um, I know my questions are a bit vague. Anyway, thanks in advance for reading this thread and appreciate any comments.

well if you do contact him dont say there are other people in the world who will care ect because that comes out loud and clear as you dont deserve my love but maybe someone else will love you.

i used to have simular problems before i turned my life around and i have to ask are you sure contacting him is the right thing to do, it sounds like your doing it more for your own closure than his.

hollis12

OTHER wrote: »

long story short:

I liked/loved a guy for a long while. We were together for a few months. He broke it up with me. We contacted later, he wanted friendship. I did have feelings towards him, but I knew he was having so much problems and I want a more stable guy who loves me (and I love of course), so I decided to move on and kept him a friend.

Then he disappeared again, cut himself off. I was worried abt him 'cos he's kind of having alcohol and depression problem with pressure from work and living alone.

Then he contacted my friend and gave my friend his new contact and asked my friend to pass it on to me. He said he lost all the contacts so could not contact us. It's been abt 2 months we haven't contacted.

I am now keeping regular intensed contact with a new guy that met on net from NI as a friend with potential to go further. If things are OK on both parties, I would like to start with him. I am in my early 30s so would prefer to settle down. Anyway, just want to say, I want to move on from my ex. and have actions to go with.

I still care about my ex. and I do love him. I want him to know that there are people in the world who care about him. I haven't contacted him yet but I decided I will contact him. I want to think clearly before I contact him and not to be hurt again or to hurt him in ways I dont know. He is that kind of person who is very difficult/sensitive because of the family background, abusive alcoholic parent and now alcohol and no jobs etc.

What do I need to be careful of? What mindset should I be in?

Um, I know my questions are a bit vague. Anyway, thanks in advance for reading this thread and appreciate any comments.

sorry i have to apologize i didn't see where you said he broke up with you, in this case he made the decision if you want to be friends with him do but only if it wont hurt you, and be sure your over him

LegacyUser

tks guys for the advice.