New Moon DVD - pile of crap

Richard Dower

Watched the DVD last night, i've seen the original (which was better) and have to say the sequel was utter rubbish, horrid acting and script. Girls actually cried to this crap?....

marry me, and she gasps....fade to black...........what? :eek:

What the hell kind of a stupis ending was that?,

sorry but this movie is pants.

imme

I was left with a big moon-sized feeling of unsatisfaction after watching this movie. I love art-house movies, but this was just a poor attempt.

Kess73

Lads I think you are each talking about a different film.

Reads like one of you is talking about a crappy girlie vampire film and the other is talking about Moon.

Richard Dower

^ were you one of those weeping girlies?....hang your head in shame!

Hank_Jones

Richard Dower wrote: »

What the hell kind of a stupis ending was that?, sorry but this movie is pants.

I hope that there was some sort of sex involved after it.

That is the only reason I can think of why a man would actually watch it.

Basq

Christ Richard.. spoilers and all that!

My girlfriend unfortunately laps up this muck.. she watched it this morning and loved it. But she's a fan.. and far too old for this muck!

She told me I'd like it if I gave it a chance.. I said honestly I'd rather put knitting needles through my scrotum than watch it!

And I'll leave ye with this image..

Cupcake_Crisis

basquille wrote: »

That made me L.O.L!!

Sleazus

Say what you will about the franchise, but if you hired David Cronenberg to direct the final novel, Breaking Dawn, you'd have quite possibly the most amazing arthouse movie ever made. The description is (spoiler tagged) below:

Basically, our two erstwhile lovers finally tie the knot. But there are complications in the… consumation department. Put simply, our feisty vampire severely bruises her (and puts her lights out) during the attempt.

Despite being knocked out cold by his sexual style (and having the headboard destroyed), Bella goes back to Edward for seconds. This time he knocks her up.

Yep, vampire babies! And it’s just as disgusting as you could imagine it being. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella’s ribs and then severs her spine.

In a moment that demands to be shown on the silver screen, Edward gives Bella an emergency C-section with his ****ing teeth.

But, in case you thought Edward was being unfair, he did consider other options. He tries to convince her to get an abortion … and goes so far as asking Native American wolfboy Jacob to impregnate his wife so that she can have the baby she desperately wants.

Yes, because carrying a vampire baby was so easy that you’d just love to carry a mini-werewolf. Anyway, he ends up biting her so they can spend the rest of their lives in vampiric bliss.

Jacob the werewolf, who has been madly in love with Bella, sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman’s terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.

His love has been transferred from Bella to the baby (who has the tongue shattering name Renesmee), and because of the science behind imprinting he’ll love her forever.

Bella is disturbed to find out that Jacob has imprinted on her daughter, but managed to keep her self control about it. Until she finds out he nicknamed her “Nessie.” At which point she attacks.

I will not rest until I have seen a movie in which a werewolf falls in love with a baby. Hell, once I’ve seen a werewolf fall in love with a baby I may quit movie watching – I will have seen the ultimate culmination of a century of cinema.

Tell me that doesn't sound like perfect Cronenberg fodder?

Cupcake_Crisis

Sleazus wrote: »

Say what you will about the franchise, but if you hired David Cronenberg to direct the final novel, Breaking Dawn, you'd have quite possibly the most amazing arthouse movie ever made. The description is (spoiler tagged) below:

Basically, our two erstwhile lovers finally tie the knot. But there are complications in the… consumation department. Put simply, our feisty vampire severely bruises her (and puts her lights out) during the attempt.

Despite being knocked out cold by his sexual style (and having the headboard destroyed), Bella goes back to Edward for seconds. This time he knocks her up.

Yep, vampire babies! And it’s just as disgusting as you could imagine it being. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella’s ribs and then severs her spine.

In a moment that demands to be shown on the silver screen, Edward gives Bella an emergency C-section with his ****ing teeth.

But, in case you thought Edward was being unfair, he did consider other options. He tries to convince her to get an abortion … and goes so far as asking Native American wolfboy Jacob to impregnate his wife so that she can have the baby she desperately wants.

Yes, because carrying a vampire baby was so easy that you’d just love to carry a mini-werewolf. Anyway, he ends up biting her so they can spend the rest of their lives in vampiric bliss.

Jacob the werewolf, who has been madly in love with Bella, sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman’s terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.

His love has been transferred from Bella to the baby (who has the tongue shattering name Renesmee), and because of the science behind imprinting he’ll love her forever.

Bella is disturbed to find out that Jacob has imprinted on her daughter, but managed to keep her self control about it. Until she finds out he nicknamed her “Nessie.” At which point she attacks.

I will not rest until I have seen a movie in which a werewolf falls in love with a baby. Hell, once I’ve seen a werewolf fall in love with a baby I may quit movie watching – I will have seen the ultimate culmination of a century of cinema.

Tell me that doesn't sound like perfect Cronenberg fodder?

do i sense a touch of sarcasm in that post??

Breaking Dawn has the potential to be one of the worst movies EVER made, and thats coming from a fan!! They want to make it in 3D for christ's sakes!! No one really wants to see a baby being ripped from someones stomach by its vampire daddy in 3D!!

krudler

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

do i sense a touch of sarcasm in that post??

Breaking Dawn has the potential to be one of the worst movies EVER made, and thats coming from a fan!! They want to make it in 3D for christ's sakes!! No one really wants to see a baby being ripped from someones stomach by its vampire daddy in 3D!!

That description has actually made me want to go see a Twilight movie

tman

Richard Dower wrote: »

Watched the DVD last night, i've seen the original (which was better) and have to say the sequel was utter rubbish, horrid acting and script. Girls actually cried to this crap?....marry me, and she gasps....fade to black...........what? :eek:

What the hell kind of a stupis ending was that?, sorry but this movie is pants.

I was going to complain about you using spoilers, but after suffering through the emo wankbag that was Twilight, there's no way in hell that I would put myself through that again.

****ing awful ****e!

Galvasean

I'm no fan of those movies, but kop on OP. You know much better at this point than to put the ending of a recent film unspoilered in your opening post.

hitlersson666

Im not a fan but i've read the books and when breaking dawn comes out it will be really fun!

MagicMarker

Richard Dower wrote: »

Watched the DVD last night, i've seen the original (which was better) and have to say the sequel was utter rubbish, horrid acting and script. Girls actually cried to this crap?....

marry me, and she gasps....fade to black...........what? :eek:

What the hell kind of a stupis ending was that?,

sorry but this movie is pants.

That's what you get for watching it, some of us know better.

Otis Driftwood

Richard Dower wrote: »

Watched the DVD last night, i've seen the original (which was better) and have to say the sequel was utter rubbish, horrid acting and script. Girls actually cried to this crap?....

marry me, and she gasps....fade to black...........what? :eek:

What the hell kind of a stupis ending was that?,

sorry but this movie is pants.

You sat and watched it yet are surprised its a load of cock?

imme wrote: »

I was left with a big moon-sized feeling of unsatisfaction after watching this movie. I love art-house movies, but this was just a poor attempt.

Art house,art house?
These are the most cynical cash ins that exist at the moment.

Richard Dower wrote: »

^ were you one of those weeping girlies?....hang your head in shame!

Man,you should be hangin yer head in shame.

Do yourself a favour and watch a proper vampire movie.

nedtheshed

nedtheshed wrote: »

Art house,art house?
These are the most cynical cash ins that exist at the moment.

I'm assuming he thought the thread was about the rather excellent Sam Rockwell starring Moon which was the one film last year with Moon in the title which was in any ways watchable.

nedtheshed wrote: »

Man,you should be hangin yer head in shame.

Do yourself a favour and watch a proper vampire movie.

Tis sad that Let the Right One In is viewed as an artsy film and shunned by the masses. At least we know that in 20 years time people will still be watching the classics while tripe such as New Moon is forgotten. The Twilight franchise has no staying power, it's first week was massive but the drop off was astounding. I think attendance was down like 50% the second week and continued to fall.

Otis Driftwood

I was very disappointed with LTROI,I was led to believe it was exceptional but unfortunatly I was left wanting more.

RoRoCullen

hitlersson666 wrote: »

Im not a fan but i've read the books and when breaking dawn comes out it will be really fun!

The books are amazing. But Kristen Stewert makes the films crap.
She only acts as herself. The awkwardness, shaking of the head and constant blinking. Why in the hell didnt they pick an actual actress? lol

Orlaladuck

Hate the whole damn thing with a passion but I went to see it anyway. The acting is absoloutely Terrible. Someone needs to shoot all these actresses who are cast merely because they're somewhat decent looking. A Plank has more potential than Kirsten Stewart. Dakodta Fanning was awful, she looked like a hooker in elegant clothes rather than a vampire especially

when she looks directly at Edward 'torturing him'. There is no sense of dread or expectation she's about to inflict excruciating pain on him, just god awful acting.

When watching it, you really just don't get the Vampire feel at All. They're just like a bunch of pasty goths in 'designer' clothes rather than vampires. It's ill-deserving of its fame IMO. She's a terrible writer and it's truly shocking 4 books of merely purple prose actually managed to get published as well as destroy years and years of built of vampire-lore.

S.M.B.

Screw you guys, going to watch this tonight me thinks.

RoRoCullen

RoRoCullen wrote: »

The books are amazing. But Kristen Stewert makes the films crap.

The books are amazing if they are the only thing you ever read. For the rest of us they are poorly written, badly researched door stops which are partly responsible for the dumbing down of a whole generation. It saddens me when I hear people talking about how amazing the books are and when asked what else they read they only stare blankly back at you.

cable842

I thought it was a good film.

it was done on a low budget what do yea expect like.

Zwillinge

Terrible film!!

Actually worse than the first, which is tough to manange. It also seemed very rushed, just so the cast would still look pretty and wouldn't age.

The fourth installment should be a hoot, but I believe all the crazy that happens is only in the first 100 pages (it's a fat lookin' book!) and the end is terribly dull and pathetic.

Read the first book, took me a few months to finish, cause it was so boring. I can't understand the fascination. I've since given to a friend, who half way through it said did I want it back. Told her to keep it - it's since been left residing on a park bench for whoever wants to read this crap :P

Karl Hungus

Deleted User wrote: »

Tis sad that Let the Right One In is viewed as an artsy film and shunned by the masses.

Yeah, but I doubt that the masses that flocked to see Twilight would appreciate a masterpiece like Let The Right One In. Or Thirst for that matter.

MickShamrock

krudler wrote: »

That description has actually made me want to go see a Twilight movie

Me too! :pac:

Basq

cable842 wrote: »

it was done on a low budget what do yea expect like.

Pfft.... 50 million dollars? It's small-ish but that doesn't reflect the quality of a film!

District 9 was done was a paltry 30 million dollars.. and that was both a fantastic film and looked great for the money.

Sleazus

cable842 wrote: »

it was done on a low budget what do yea expect like.

Even it was, that's no excuse - because it didn't have to be. The original twilight stormed the box office, so there's no reason they couldn't have thrown money at the sequel. It was cheap by choice, which makes it legitimate to criticise.

Incidentally, I don't care if you make it with $5 or $500,000,000, a good movie is a good movie and a crap movie is a crap movie. This is the latter.

Karl Hungus

Karl Hungus wrote: »

Yeah, but I doubt that the masses that flocked to see Twilight would appreciate a masterpiece like Let The Right One In. Or Thirst for that matter.

I think the words "This film is subtitled" stuck to the poster is more than enough to put them off. Shame that so many great films go unnoticed by the masses, there's a wealth of quality cinema out there just waiting to be discovered.

pirelli

Just watched new moon. The werewolves dudes were clearly made to be funny. Half naked upper pec muscles in little clusters out in the bushes behind his house?

Reminds me I have to start pumping some serious iron. If the kids these days are built like that, its time to get out the gold gym mucle building program.

People might look down at these emos but they seem to be built like a ****house. Other than that it was utter crap.

BopNiblets

basquille wrote: »

But she's a fan.. and far too old for this muck!

Dump her and go for someone younger who's not too old for this muck?

I saw an article on the Twilight Moms, 40+ mothers who love the franchise as much as their kids and go wild every time someone gets their top off. Imagine the out cry if it was 40+ men who got excited over 17 year olds.

Cupcake_Crisis

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

No one really wants to see a baby being ripped from someones stomach by its vampire daddy in 3D!!

I really, really want to see a scene like that in 3D. Hell if they released a film called 90 Minutes of Stomach Churning Emergency Vampire C Sections in Glorious 3D I would be first in line, hell I'd have tickets booked to every show opening weekend.

Magic Eight Ball

Deleted User wrote: »

I saw an article on the Twilight Moms, 40+ mothers who love the franchise as much as their kids and go wild every time someone gets their top off. Imagine the out cry if it was 40+ men who got excited over 17 year olds.

VAMPIRES DO NOT GLOW IN THE SUNLIGHT.

that is all.

Otis Driftwood

MickShamrock

brokenlaptop wrote: »

VAMPIRES DO NOT GLOW IN THE SUNLIGHT.

that is all.

No. They glitter. :pac: