motoring quote of the day

cantdecide

"Sure, automatic is the only way to go. Stirring the petrol when you're trying to drive is a b******s"...

Mr Benevolent

Eh?

cantdecide

Sorry. A guy just said that to me there. I lol'd and I just wanted to share:p

colm_mcm

discussing a certain jeep with a trader:


A Trooper? sure you couldn't raffle them

plonk

Mate talking about women drivers after he failed the test. "Sure she wouldn't drive a stake in a wet bog"

EPM

"Nothing like the smell of burning clutch first thing in the morning"

My dad when my sister managed to fcuk the clutch in her Micra when she was learning to drive...she did this trying to get out of the driveway which is on a steep hill:rolleyes:

R.O.R

"I'd rather AIDS" - an ex. collegue when asked to price a used Laguna.

Padraig Mor

Nice Guy Always to me:
"Can I see your licence Sir?"

colm_mcm

R.O.R wrote: »

"I'd rather AIDS" - an ex. collegue when asked to price a used Laguna.

I used to hear a variation of that "you'd get rid of AIDS quicker!"

STForSale

I wouldn't keep chickens in it.
Used when referring to any car that is "untidy".

Bazzy

"give her a clean and she'll be a new machine"

Filthy dirty 00 micra going through the auction's once people were coughing and choking there was that much smoke coming out the back !!! bodywork wasnt the awul best either

E39MSport

"perfect mechanical order"

I hate that one.

keithclancy

Jaysus this yoke wouldnt beat eggs

*Used to describe a mondeo 1.6 litre with a gammy engine during a test drive"

no1beemerfan

"Ah Jaysus" .... said by car salesman when my mother went looking at changing her car. She'd just told him she'd a rover to trade in!

SV

"wouldn't pull me socks off!" A garda talking to me about his mondeo patrol car.

"wouldn't drive that into a wall.." Same Garda talking about a quite loud civic that just passed

Matt Simis

Smug BMW "expert" to mother; "I hear you got a new 5 series.. Oh, Ive a BMW too, but its a 525d and its a Saloon".
Mother: "Thats nice, mines a 535d Touring..."
Expert: long pause accompanied by a mix of frustration and shock... "why would a woman need a 3.5litre engine.." :rolleyes:


And yes, I know the 535d isnt a 3.5 litre, he evidentially didn't.

E39MSport

yyyuuuuuummmm, twin-turbo.

Is your mum single ? ;-)

PaulieC

SV wrote: »

"wouldn't pull me socks off!" A garda talking to me about his mondeo patrol car.

"wouldn't drive that into a wall.." Same Garda talking about a quite loud civic that just passed

variation on the theme...

"wouldn't pull the knickers of a whore"

dunleakelleher

When asked "does she burn oil?" the reply was "she would if she got it."

Saab Ed

" That yokes had more hits than Elvis "

Mc Love

Great thread

Pique

A mate said to me about fast (but thirsty) Subarus.

It'll pass everything but a petrol station

PaulKK

Guy said to me when a young local guy passed in a badly pimped out starlet:

"I'd rather be seen getting out of a sheep"

cantdecide

"If they were hanging mechanics, he'd die innocent".

colm_mcm

cambo_gueno wrote: »

variation on the theme...

"wouldn't pull the knickers of a whore"

I got "wouldn't pull a sailor out of your sister" about a 1.6 Avensis.

jayok

"Just drive it like you stole it!"

Recommendations on how to get the maximum thrills from a 1.6 VTi Civic.

jayok

Question from an ex on this whole Mile / KM thing

HER: "So how many meters are there in a Kilometer"
ME: "Stunned Look"
HER: "Never Mind"

BTW She graduated with an Honours Engineering Degree.

For Forks Sake

colm_mcm wrote: »

I got "wouldn't pull a sailor out of your sister" about a 1.6 Avensis.

"Wouldn't pull you out of the bed in the morning" was very correctly attributed to an old Nissan Sunny with a 1.7 litre diesel engine

Lord Nikon

" wouldnt pull the skin of a rice puddin' "

jayok

@neuromancer - I think your sig has some of the better quotes here:

"Fast, reliable, cheap. You can only have two."

"Just because you can afford to buy one, that doesn't mean you can afford to drive one."

Very apt.

mickdw

E39MSport wrote: »

yyyuuuuuummmm, twin-turbo.

Not twin turbo. 2 turbos, but not twins

Lord Nikon

mickdw wrote: »

Not twin turbo. 2 turbos, but not twins

Diesel E39 perhaps?

Voodoomelon

The old classic, people say this to me non stop.

"So whats the mileage on her?". "85,000". "85?! Ach sure she'll do that again no bother".

unkel

colm_mcm wrote: »

I used to hear a variation of that "you'd get rid of AIDS quicker!"

Yep, used car salesman pointing at a Citroen C5: "harder to shift than AIDS"

mickdw

neuromancer wrote: »

Diesel E39 perhaps?

What?

Q "Does she burn oil"

A "She would if she got it "

(How not to sell a car)

pdiddy

never drive faster then ur guardian angel can fly

I saw a sticker on the back window of a lowered Nova SR years back saying "Too fast to live, too young to die" :rolleyes:
The thing was fecked looking.

cadaliac

There was a post on here a while back about somone buying an automatic and asking a question about things to look out for (can't remember the type of car), but another poster said:
"yeah and be sure to check the cluch too"
Facepalm of the highest order. Very funny.

dunleakelleher

RoverJames wrote: »

Q "Does she burn oil"

A "She would if she got it "

(How not to sell a car)

a day late, used already post #19

trad

Said of a light fingered mechanic that there were so many car parts in his locker "if you pushed it, it would start".

dirtydiesel

Has it got esb windows and a sunshine roof.

woody33

Years ago I had a Mini Clubman.

Me: "It's an estate."
Smartarse: "It's in a state alright."

cadaliac

dirtydiesel wrote: »

Has it got esb windows and a sunshine roof.

or being called a "moon roof"

darragh o meara

A few of my favourites:

One carefull owner, The other five didnt give a s h it!!
That yoke has had more hits than the Beatles!!

snowman707

The F*cking F*cker is F*cked,

the above was a text from my mate, left me wondering, eventually found out it was the engine of his trooper had seized

snowman707

snowman707 wrote: »

eventually found out it was the engine of his trooper had seized

3.0 one ?