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Is there any point?

  • 04-03-2010 4:45pm
    #1
    Chickenwings
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭


    Hi all,

    Brief background rel history. I'm in my mid 20's, went out with a guy for 6 years, nasty relationship, he was very possesive and aggressive..a ticking time bomb. During the last couple of months with my ex I met my current boyfriend (nothing happened between us until me and my ex split). He was an a breath of fresh air, a genuinly lovely guy, in fact I thought it was way too good to be true. Meeting him made me realise how awful my ex boyfriend was and was the kick up the ar*e I need to get out of it.

    ANYWAY fast a couple of years, still with this guy, we have so much fun, laugh all the time, very healthy relationship. BUT something doesnt feel quiet right---

    no.1 I regret having no time out between both relationships, I feel resentful of the fact that I didnt have a wild, single patch in my life at all so far, I feel the grass is greener, I want to know that I can be comfortable being by myself, doing my own thing, being a single person (I seem to always have been someones girlfriend)

    no.2 He has outright stated that he does not feel ready for any sort of commitement at the moment( he is one year younger than me). we NEVER ever talk about any sort of a future together.

    I'm very confused, I feel I'm in Limbo at the moment. Do I stay with the wonderful guy and just settle for the fact he doesnt want to commit or take a chane on the grass is greener.

    Sorry very long winded and probably sounds totally contradicting...but thats just how I feel at the moment. Anyone out there ever been in the same boat??


Comments

  • #2
    anucksunamun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 273 ✭✭anucksunamun


    Hi there,
    When you say no commitment 'at the moment' has he given any indication of how long it will be? How long are you willing to wait for him to change his mind? and can I just ask you if you guys were engaged, or married do you think that would change the way your feeling? be honest with yourself here hun.. Only you know the answer.


  • #3
    Chickenwings
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭Chickenwings


    Thanks for the reply, he has given absolutly no indication..he has a very immature attitude to commitment. but is it enough reason to throw away an otherwise perfect relationship..kinda have the feeling of just being sick of waiting around for a man to decide to settle

    Rock and a hard place ha


  • #4
    anucksunamun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 273 ✭✭anucksunamun


    I understand, Has he said anything about seeing you both always together?.. or indicated he sees you guys married eventually?.. I think its just not as important to (some) guys as it is to us hun.. for them there is no biological clock ticking away and no rush.. and you probably dont want to have to say this straight out to him, am I right? you feel like it should be his decision.. but he should have made it by now.. right? And if you do move on, your worried you'll never meet anyone as good as him (from what you say it sounds like you guys get on well) who is willing to settle down?

    Have you tried just asking him what he thinks about you two being married? Do his parents have a happy marriage, or what is his experience of people being married? is that where the negative attitude (or lack of attitude) may be coming from?


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