Germans - great sense of humour?

ejmaztec

Things are heating up in Greece again after them having a dig at the Germans for not bailing them out a couple of weeks ago. The Greeks started off with a "Godwin" and accused the Germans of not handing back the gold that Nazis nicked in WW2.

The Germans now appear to be offering them free financial advice to stir the kacke up a bit more.


http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2010/mar/04/greece-sell-islands-german-mps


Greece should sell islands to keep bankruptcy at bay, say German MPs

• Fire sale of Greek islands, Acropolis and Parthenon suggested
• Greek public reacts with outrage and boycotts German goods


Josef Schlarmann told Bild newspaper that Greece should consider selling its uninhabited islands for debt redemption.

Greece must consider a fire sale of land, historic buildings and art works to cut its debts, two rightwing German politicians said today in a newspaper interview that is bound to exacerbate tensions between Athens and Berlin.
Alongside austerity measures such as cuts to public sector pay and a freeze on state pensions, why not sell a few uninhabited islands or ancient artefacts, asked Josef Schlarmann, a senior member of Angela Merkel's Christian Democrats, and Frank Schaeffler, a finance policy expert in the Free Democrats.

The Acropolis and the Parthenon could also fall under the hammer, along with temptingly idyllic Aegean islands still under state ownership, in a rush to keep bankruptcy at bay.
"Those in insolvency have to sell everything they have to pay their creditors," Schlarmann told Bild newspaper. "Greece owns buildings, companies and uninhabited islands, which could all be used for debt redemption."
Only yesterday the ruling socialist government in Greece published its third attempt to reduce the country's debts and please EU governments, which have pledged to support the beleaguered economy if austerity measures are enacted.
Strikes and street protests have already threatened to bring many industries and public services to a standstill if the cuts go ahead.
But Germans remain unmoved by the troubles facing Greece. Opinion polls show Germans are overwhelmingly against a Berlin-funded bailout. Greece's deficit was 12.7% of national income in 2009, well ahead of the EU's 3% limit.
Merkel will meet the Greek prime minister, George Papandreou, in Berlin on Friday.
"The chancellor cannot promise Greece any help," Schaeffler told Bild in a story under the headline: "Sell your islands, you bankrupt Greeks! And sell the Acropolis too!"
"The Greek government has to take radical steps to sell its property – for example its uninhabited islands," Schaeffler told Germany's best-selling daily newspaper.
Greece's deputy foreign minister, Dimitris Droutsas, was asked about the idea in an interview with ARD TV. "I've also heard the suggestion we should sell the Acropolis," Droutsas said. "Suggestions like this are not appropriate at this time."
Germans have had an allergic reaction to reports their country may be part of a bailout for Greece. Many fear it could lead to similar calls for cash from Spain and Portugal, which have also been badly hit following the financial crash.
Europe's biggest economy itself is only just creeping out of its worst postwar recession. Last week figures revealed the German economy had stalled, while separately, politicians wrestled with a bigger bailout for its second-largest bank, Commerzbank, which purchased billions of pounds worth of exotic financial instruments linked to US sub-prime mortgages.
Greeks reacted with outrage to the proposals today, with many taking to the airwaves to complain about all things Teutonic.
"I don't mind so much about the austerity measures, it's the Germans," a former government employee told a radio host. "The suggestion that we now sell off our national assets has got me so angry I am boycotting all their products."
The country's consumer federation, INKA, summoned Greeks to boycott German products, including supermarket chains and car dealerships, following a spasm of national fury at the way the country was being portrayed by the German media.
"The pressure the Germans are putting us under is outrageous," said Sarandi Pitsas, a pensioner who took to the streets to protest against the austerity measures. "When we were carving beautiful statues like the Venus de Milos," he said, referring to the cover of a German magazine which showed the statue gesturing obscenely under the headline 'Greek cheats', "they were living in caves and growling like dogs."
Five days after it was launched, the 100,000-strong consumer group says the boycott of products and shops is going splendidly. "The response has been immense," Haralambous Velidarakis, a board member of INKA, said. "This is not against the German people but in protest against sustained attacks from the German government, which will lead to the impoverishment of Greeks."
Greece's satirical weekly To Pontiki (the mouse) put it another way today. Its front-page cover asked: "Does Greece belong to the Greeks?"

Cookie_Monster

Ah, Ze Germanz, vot vill zey tink of next?

Xluna

If only we had some German logic in the Dail. Hell maybe I could get some efficient German sex too.:)

peter p

Xluna wrote: »

If only we had some German logic in the Dail. Hell maybe I could get some efficient German sex too.:)

second that!

mike65

The Germans should send all the fat Nazi Bravians there on holliday.

mikom

ejmaztec wrote: »

Germans - great sense of humour?

Germans have a great sense of humour.
What other country could write jokes like.......... A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

ejmaztec

I think that we would say "Can you please give us a few readies, because we're in a bit of a tight-spot at the moment?", instead of the Greeks' method where they're saying "give us some money you tight-arsed cunts."

admiralofthefleet

the greeks shouldnt be asking the germans for nazi gold, they dont have it. the vatican should be who they are asking

bonerm

ejmaztec wrote: »

I think that we would say "Can you please give us a few readies, because we're in a bit of a tight-spot at the moment?", instead of the Greeks' method where they're saying "give us some money you tight-arsed cunts."

It's spelt "Kuntz"

SEPT 23 1989

Nein

gurramok

Can we sell that island Peig was on as revenge for ramming her drivel down our throats in school?

ejmaztec

mikom wrote: »

Germans have a great sense of humour.
What other country could write jokes like.......... A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

That one never grows old, and makes me split my sides every time I hear it.:D

bonerm

# Was ist der neue Freund von Steffi Graf von Beruf?
# Grafiker.

from : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_humour

(I laughed)

evercloserunion

Haha, from the Wikipedia:

it is a widespread stereotype outside the country that Germans have little understanding (or a distorted understanding) of humorous situations.

I lol'd at that.

prinz

I love German humour*t&C apply

Xluna wrote: »

Hell maybe I could get some efficient German sex too.:)

You should try it





t: if my wife tells me a joke
c: whether or not she's in earshot of me hearing a german joke

allanb49

Read this

• Greek public reacts with outrage and boycotts German goods

as this

• Greek public reacts with outrage and boycotts German gods

Was thinking Shizer, Zeus will be pissed

brianthebard

Well if they had meant it as a joke then i agree it would be pretty funny, but I'd say the two lads were deadly serious.

Noopti

Adverts.ie:
One ancient Greek temple for sale. ****e condition. Must collect.

DrumSteve

someone had to mention the war, didnt they?

peasant

ejmaztec wrote: »

Bild newspaper

= The Sun newspaper

/ thread

Truley

[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian?

A: Only the first one can make you smile. [/FONT]

ejmaztec

Truley wrote: »

[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian? [/FONT]

[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]A: Only the first one can make you smile. [/FONT]

That's Truley bad, Truley.

Dravokivich

"Do you know how to say 'bra' in German? Stoppenfromfloppen!"

^ A joke I was told by a German earlier...

not a very good'un.... so...

evercloserunion

What do they call Vaseline in Germany...

Dickschleider...

Heard it in primary school and I thought it was immature then.

GalwayKiefer

mikom wrote: »

Germans have a great sense of humour.
What other country could write jokes like.......... A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

That's brilliant, nearly spit tea all over the screen from laughing. Can't wait for my missus to get home so I can tell her the joke (she's German born).

The Greeks seem to be under the impression they're entitled to German money for some reason

tech77

German(s?) are funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wJaCedLfdg

Jordan Berbatov

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?


She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly
low self-esteem.

tech77

GalKiefer wrote: »

That's brilliant, nearly spit tea all over the screen from laughing. Can't wait for my missus to get home so I can tell her the joke (she's German born).

The Greeks seem to be under the impression they're entitled to German money for some reason

They're antijokes.
Just like jokes there are millions of them.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

P.C.

You can say what you want about the Germans...

One thing is definate:

They know how to organize a piss-up.

Oktober Fest FTW

evercloserunion

tech77 wrote: »

They're antijokes.
Just like jokes there are millions of them.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

What's worse than a worm in your apple?
Being raped.

flowersagogo

the german for nipple is brustwart.i kid you not. and i also wonder did we make that humourless german thing up ourselves or were we influenced by a neighbouring country...