Family member with pregnant friend question?

whatdoicare

Hiya,
This might sound like an odd question but my friend is having a real tough time of it with vomiting (she's about 5 months gone) and has had to be admitted twice now to be rehydrated.
No problem there, she expected it but the main issue is that in the maternity Limerick they have a policy where her partner and only her partner (no mammy or any relative) can be with her!:eek: Her husband works away from Limerick and can't be there when he's needed yet the matron won't let her mother take his place!
She'll probably have to go in for a c-section for a finish and she's absolutely distracted with the thought of being mostly alone for the whole time she's there and maybe alone going in for the birth!

Also, the mammy to be was told scans are no longer available at weekends no matter what kind of emergency is occurring as there will be noone to scan her! WTF, that can't be right??

Is this normal practice? Some people say this is because of the nurses strike slow down thing...? Can her mother complain or appeal to someone? Her whole family are just beyond worried about this.

It sounds really dangerous (mentally) to me to be leaving a new mammy alone for so long, nurses surely can't be there as much as she needs.

seamus

Many of the public hospitals have locked down their maternity wards over swine flu and security concerns. In the Rotunda, only the father is allowed in to see the mother and child. Any other visitors can meet the mother provided that she comes out to see them, but they cannot see the child until it's left the hospital.

The weekend thing is probably to do with the go-slow.

Her husband is hardly going to let her go in for the birth on his own, regardless of how far away he is?

whatdoicare

seamus wrote: »

Her husband is hardly going to let her go in for the birth on his own, regardless of how far away he is?

Well obviously if the c-section is planned etc, but any emergency births, problems etc forget it, he's in England working. They had th plan originally that her mother would be with her if that happened but looks like it's not allowed, which imo is just crazy! Surely she can do a swine flu test and present it to the matron to be allowed access?

seamus

Ah, when you said, "away from Limerick", I didn't think you meant overseas

I'm sure if they spelled the situation out to the matron it wouldn't be a problem. Particularly if she went in on an emergency basis, they're not going to refuse her mother access and leave her with no-one.

cynder

That happened to me 10 years ago, and my mommy was let in and stayed for a good few hours each day.

Infact i had all 3 there and got on great with all the nurses and never had any problems. They were strict about home time at 9 oclock for the visitors but daddy got to stay till 10.

whatdoicare

seamus wrote: »

Ah, when you said, "away from Limerick", I didn't think you meant overseas

I'm sure if they spelled the situation out to the matron it wouldn't be a problem. Particularly if she went in on an emergency basis, they're not going to refuse her mother access and leave her with no-one.

Oh, they've explained and explained the situation- the second time she went in was an emergency as she was passing out (dehydration)- her mam and dad got her to the hospital checked her in and were then told to go home as they weren't allowed in. They were in a panic and explained about her husband but still the answer was "no way"
They're hoping her consultant can get the mammy in but there's no definites.

whatdoicare

grindelwald wrote: »

That happened to me 10 years ago, and my mommy was let in and stayed for a good few hours each day.

Infact i had all 3 there and got on great with all the nurses and never had any problems. They were strict about home time at 9 oclock for the visitors but daddy got to stay till 10.

I think all that's changed now.

caprilicious

Is there a hospital ombudsman or some board like that to refer a complaint/query to?
The poor girl, bad enough stressing about the birth without stressing about being alone too.

They wouldn't let my husband stay with me the night I was admitted which was fair enough
But by 4am my contractions were getting strong/painful, I asked could I call my husband in and was refused, it was 10am the next day before they let me bring him in, in the mean time I was alone and it was hard going.

I really hope the hospital listens to your friend and let her mum go in with her

whatdoicare

caprilicious wrote: »

Is there a hospital ombudsman or some board like that to refer a complaint/query to?
The poor girl, bad enough stressing about the birth without stressing about being alone too.

They wouldn't let my husband stay with me the night I was admitted which was fair enough
But by 4am my contractions were getting strong/painful, I asked could I call my husband in and was refused, it was 10am the next day before they let me bring him in, in the mean time I was alone and it was hard going.

I really hope the hospital listens to your friend and let her mum go in with her

That must have been awful for you and yr poor husband too, I hope things change for her aswell, it must be very frightening being in this situation!

gowayouttadat

caprilicious wrote: »

Is there a hospital ombudsman or some board like that to refer a complaint/query to?
The poor girl, bad enough stressing about the birth without stressing about being alone too.

They wouldn't let my husband stay with me the night I was admitted which was fair enough
But by 4am my contractions were getting strong/painful, I asked could I call my husband in and was refused, it was 10am the next day before they let me bring him in, in the mean time I was alone and it was hard going.

I really hope the hospital listens to your friend and let her mum go in with her

That's awful!!

My DP went home at 11pm (we'd been in since 7pm) but only because we knew nothing would happen before the following morning. There was another girl there whose partner slept in a chair beside the bed even though it was the induction ward and chances were nothing would happen till the following morning.

caprilicious

I think it can depend on what midwife is on duty too, I was pretty upset the next night (different midwife on duty) when I seen 2 different partners there til the wee hours with their partners when my husband wasn't allowed to stay.

Fair enough sending him home when they did at 11pm as nothing much was happening, but when things started to progress at 4am to be told he couldn't come in really upset me.
In the end it was a case of calling him as they were bringing me into the labour ward and hoping that he'd get in to me in time!

I found this link;
http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/ysys/Complaint/

It might be of some use to your friend if she can report it to the area complaints officer?