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Am I sabotaging it?

  • 01-03-2010 2:26pm
    #1
    fionab1385
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15 ✭


    Hiya

    Just throwing this out there to see is this normal! i am 36 year old girl, was badly hurt so have stayed away from relationships for the past 7 years! Met a guy 6 months ago and decided he was worth the risk. I know him from before so it made it easier!

    We have a great relationship but something just feel weird the last few weeks. There are a few things going on, we are talking about moving in together, my libido has practically gone the last 2 weeks and all I was doing yesterday was picking at him and pushing him away with comments, just waiting for him to go.

    I don't know what the hell i am at. I am so long out of relationships I don't even know if this is normal ! We both agree this is it for us but why oh why am i being a b**ch and trying to push him away!


Comments

  • #2
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    Because you're scared.
    If you move in the breaking up will be harder. The hurt will be greater.

    Not the same but I've been dating a guy for a few weeks and I'd a bad breakup prior to this. When he began the " girlfriend/boyfriend" talk I actually felt sick. Because I like him but had been keeping him at arms length out of fear. If I let myself fall for him, I open myself up to the possibility of the pain of it.

    I think in the future I'd be having a heart attack at the thoughts of moving in with someone!

    You're aware you're doing it which is good. Maybe just have a chat with him and explain.
    My fella wanted to know why I'd pulled away, wasn't calling him as much etc. Once I told him my fears he was brilliant and we sorted it out. Although I still avoided the boyfriend/girlfriend thing for another while :o.


    Talk to him about your fears. :)


  • #3
    fionab1385
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15 ✭fionab1385


    Thanks Ash23

    I think you are right and I know it myself. I also have PMT so that doesn't help !!

    The problem with us is that we are both very sensitive and if one of us goes into our head the other does too ! In one way it's great cuz we understand how the other things but sometimes it is just tiring

    Stupid fears eh! Pity they so hard to break! It's all well and good knowing you deserve it, but it is hard isn't it when you have been through the horrors in the past! Ah well, we can't let those past yokes ruin our future....now i just have to beat that into my thick head!!!!


  • #4
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    I know the feeling. I can see it a mile off with someone else and advise them what to do but I can't seem to put it into practice!

    I've a good friend who tells me to cop on etc and I tend to discuss this stuff with her. She's great. She beats it into my head for me lol.

    It's just a matter of being aware of it.


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