Lonliness + Dispair = Not Good

LegacyUser

Ok here it goes I just feel I need to get this off my chest and hopefully a new perspective. Basically Im a country boy in his early 20's, got a job in Dublin just before Xmas. Never wanted to come here,not to say I didnt want to work but I had my degree and while not exactly comfortable on the dole I was not going in debt as I was living at home. I was looking for jobs at home but their was none,my theory was keep looking until I found something i liked...parents wanted me to take the dublin job. Not saying my parents are strict they just felt it would be best for me to work and to an extent they are right but Dublin has me at a loss. I hate it here, I just cant make new friends everyone is just a person I say hello to but noone to actually hang around with. Everyone including the people I live with has their group of friends and although we make conversation I always feel they are happy with there lot and I cant blame them I was the same. But then I started thinking about home and although I have my family my friends have drifted apart with college and its really only my college friends im close with now. We still stay in touch and we met up last week which brought the good times flooding back which didnt help. It feels like im living a split life between Dublin and home,and although i did the same in college at least I had friends there,this is torture. All I want to do is to go home and be with my family,get back with my circle of friends,make new friends etc but my family keep saying you have a good job with a big company dont throw it away. I just dont value money that highly compared to happiness

LegacyUser

Been there!

My early time in Dublin was just as you describe. It can be an incredibly hard place to meet friends. I remember once meeting a Dublin colleague on the street with her friends once Saturday afternoon and desperately hoping she would ask me to hang out with them... but she didn't and I spent the rest of that - and every weekend alone.

But eventually I made friends. First of, I wish I had been more open with people. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I was friendless. Its an awful hard thing to admit though. Are there any nights out with colleagues? Just be as open as you can.

Also, remember you only really need one friend to start out with. You will have to be the person to propose going for a pint.

Give it six months. You can do six months. Then you are totally within your rights to move anywhere, just give it a chance. And join stuff! You never know where you're going to find your friend/circle of friends but it will happen.

Abi

JustDontKnow wrote: »

Ok here it goes I just feel I need to get this off my chest and hopefully a new perspective. Basically Im a country boy in his early 20's, got a job in Dublin just before Xmas. Never wanted to come here,not to say I didnt want to work but I had my degree and while not exactly comfortable on the dole I was not going in debt as I was living at home. I was looking for jobs at home but their was none,my theory was keep looking until I found something i liked...parents wanted me to take the dublin job. Not saying my parents are strict they just felt it would be best for me to work and to an extent they are right but Dublin has me at a loss. I hate it here, I just cant make new friends everyone is just a person I say hello to but noone to actually hang around with.

Dublin isn't so bad, you just need some time to fit in and get adjusted to us! I don't know if you have a registered account here, but you should stick around. Theres loads of dub boardsies here, and they have forum beers regularly. You should tag along!

Everyone including the people I live with has their group of friends and although we make conversation I always feel they are happy with there lot and I cant blame them I was the same. But then I started thinking about home and although I have my family my friends have drifted apart with college and its really only my college friends im close with now. We still stay in touch and we met up last week which brought the good times flooding back which didnt help. It feels like im living a split life between Dublin and home,and although i did the same in college at least I had friends there,this is torture. All I want to do is to go home and be with my family,get back with my circle of friends,make new friends etc but my family keep saying you have a good job with a big company dont throw it away. I just dont value money that highly compared to happiness

All this must be so daunting for you, but you've been used to a certain way of life up to now. I bet you anything, if you give it some time you'll never want to leave here! :pac:

Really, think about going to a boards beers. I've to get my ass to one too, and it would be great to finally meet everyone. You should come to one

MIN2511

OP how long have you been in Dublin? Honestly it's never easy to make new friends but i don't think you've given Dublin a chance!
Something that should always be at the back of your mind is that at some stage most of your college friends will emigrate to other towns/countries/cities... And then what will you do?
Why don't you try a boards beers? I've made loads through boards

And what about your colleagues in work? Do you socialise with them?

Gannicus

Abitar wrote: »

Dublin isn't so bad, you just need some time to fit in and get adjusted to us! I don't know if you have a registered account here, but you should stick around. Theres loads of dub boardsies here, and they have forum beers regularly. You should tag along!

Yeah man. get chatting on topics you're interested in and get chatting to people with similar interests. Us dubs ain't so bad. lol the guys do go for beers. try tagging along like Arbitar says you'll be happy to stick around in no time