really fussy eater

LegacyUser

Hi all,

My OH has always been a really really fussy eater. I'm not sure where it all stemmed from to be honest but now at the age of 20 his diet consists mainly of pizza, chips, plain chicken, mash potato, yoghurts, crackers and cereal! I on the other hand love food and will try anything once. A lot of the foods he doesn't eat, he's never actually tasted, he just has this notion in his head that he wont like it. I have tried countless times to get him to just taste things but he just wont. His fussy food habits can be quite frustrating for both of us because as everyone knows food is quite a social thing. Food is always an issue at parties, family events and when we want to go out for dinner just the two of us. I want to help him get out of this box he's in when it comes to food. He's been like this all his life so it will take a great amount of will power and the want to do it. We have had rows in the past about his food habits because it can get really frustrating for me when he wont go to normal restaurants with me like any normal couple would do. I worry about his health also with possible colestoral issues and weight gain as he lacks proper nutrients in his diet. (For the moment he's a healthy size with no medical issues. He's had blood tests done with the Doc to make sure all was ok.)

The reason I'm writing this is to maybe hear other peoples stories about how they've dealt with fussy food habits and if there is any kind of counseling or therapy you can go to in dublin to try and rid the habits.

Thanks for reading. My OH knows I'm writing this and will be looking forward to hearing what you guys have to say.

Ickle Magoo

I think eating - whether that be dieting or learning new flavours - like giving up smoking is very much down to a will and a want from the person involved. I don't think any amount of wishing, hoping or nagging from you will make an ounce of difference until he gets it into his own head that HE is absolutely determined to extend his own palate.

I was a horrendously fussy eater as a kid and as a teenager I got so annoyed with my own pathetic limiting of menu choice and bland palate that I had enough and forced myself to eat, order and cook different foods until I learnt to enjoy a more varied diet.

Best of luck!

KiLLeR CoUCh

When I was twelve I was a horribly fussy eater. I ate nothing but chicken, fish, chips, bread and some fruit. I'm 21 now and through my own initiative I've managed to get myself to eat an awful lot more. I would still regard myself as a fussy eater, I'm still not great about eating vegetables but I love Indian and Japanese food and it's been years since I've walked into a restaurant and not had a wide selection of stuff I'd like to eat.

Some one who always eats everything can’t understand what it’s like to be a fussy eater. As a child I would panic over the thought of having to eat food I didn’t like. I spend the meal taking tiny mouthfuls and trying not to get sick. It was when I was about 15 I forced myself to start changing my ways and it’s taken since then to eat what I do now but it’s been well worth it.

Forcing yourself to eat something you absolutely don't want to isn't going to make a difference. I was forced to eat broccoli before as my parents though as if by some miracle once I tried it, I would like it. I hated everything about it from it's smell to the texture and have never touched it since.


The best thing you can do is think of what you do like and slowly expand on it, and I mean really slowly. At the end of the day, you don’t want food to be a chore. The first thing I ate that was outside of my comfort zone was rice. Just plain rice and nothing else. I figured that if I liked bread I might like some other form of carbs so I made myself some rice. It was plain and boring but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. After that I added some chicken to it, then once I decided that was an edible combination I tried a small bit of tikka masala. It was a whole lot less intimidating to try it bit by bit than just being handed some random Indian dish and being told to eat up. I tried a similar approach with pasta and italien food.

The whole process is a lot easier if you cook for yourself. I liked being able to go to the kitchen myself and mess around with food. That way I knew what was going into what I was eating and I wasn’t going to be given something mysterious on a plate. I was also under no pressure, If I decided I didn’t like what I’d made I just had something else, there was nobody there to give out that I wasn’t eating properly.

At the end of the day you can’t expect your OH to like everything. One of the things I most frequently heard was “Just try it, you’ll like it” which of course wasn’t true. It’s okay to try things and dislike them. I hate onions and want nothing to do with them. I didn’t like peppers the first time I tried them but after a while grew to not mind the taste so much. Best of luck with this OP, don’t expect any miracles but the right kind of encouragement can go a long way.

Stheno

I agree with Killer Couch, my bf is a dreadfully fussy eater, he will not eat anything that is white, is convinced he is allergic to milk, yoghurt and most dairy products (apart from cheddar cheese) will not eat green vegetables, most grains (oats, couscous, any cereal), and until recently he never ate fruit of any kind. He also hates dried fruit, nuts, most fish. He also hates anything with cream, including sauces, and will not eat any type of soup apart from tomato.

His diet previously consisted of takeaways, steak with onions, and vast amounts of chocolate, coffee and coke.

He had a check up last year (about seven months ago) and his cholesterol was quite high. Now we do live together and I tend to do a lot of the cooking. He did agree to make an effort with his eating, and I started slowly introducing foods that he doesn't like into general meals. He's gotten into eating fruits that he likes, drinks juice in the mornings, regularly eats salmon, sardines, and smoked salmon, and has even gotten to like some foods he swore he would never eat, such as spinach, sweet potato, pumpkin seeds, and last night he ate couscous out at dinner, and enjoyed it.

Imo it's a combination of his wanting to expand his diet and eat better, and also having the skill to do so, and making meals that he will enjoy.

I'd also say that given his age, there may be a bit of the "I'm invincible, so I'll enjoy what I eat and who gives a damn" about it, I know my bf (who's in his forties) got a right kick up the backside when he got his blood results back, and it motivated him to start eating better.

Good luck

ztoical

Agree with other posters about not forcing food on him. Focus on food at home. Food isn't all about eating, it's about smell and colour and texture and it's alot easier to control that at home then when eating out. I'm pretty open to try anything usually but do find when just reading a discription of something in a menu I'm not sure I'll like it and get something else but seeing the same thing being made and then put in front of me I'd wolf it down without a second thought.

Get him involved in the whole process not just eating but buying, preparing and cooking. Start with something he likes, like pizza, make one from scratch [or cheat a little and buy the base and add your own toppings] Slowly introduce something new....getting him to chop up veggies or stir stuff. Explain he doesn't have to eat any of it, he's just helping you cook and you'll eat it. If he gets more comfortable around different foods he'll hopefully start trying them.

Stheno

ztoical wrote: »

Get him involved in the whole process not just eating but buying, preparing and cooking. Start with something he likes, like pizza, make one from scratch [or cheat a little and buy the base and add your own toppings] Slowly introduce something new....getting him to chop up veggies or stir stuff. Explain he doesn't have to eat any of it, he's just helping you cook and you'll eat it. If he gets more comfortable around different foods he'll hopefully start trying them.

This is pretty much what I did, got him involved in the shopping, we had some great laughs when he saw food he'd eaten in the raw so to speak

Then he would taste stuff when I was cooking and decide if he liked it without necessarily knowing what it was, it really really helped.

KittyeeTrix

I'm 35 now but met my husband when he was 23 and I was 18. He was at the time a chef and I was a "fussy eater". I don't know how it started with me but I couldn't touch pizza cos it had cheese on it which I hated.
I wouldn't eat peppers, onions, garlic, anything which deviated from potatoes-meat-2 veg!!!

For me, funnily enough the times when I was pregnant over the subsequent years saw me try peppers, onions and garlic and I loved them ....Still can't abide rice, noodles, pasta!!! If it ain't spuds, mash or chips, I just can't stomach it. I can't explain it, I don't know why!!!

Monkey61

I don't mean this to come across as too harsh - but I think it is necessary to point out the difference between someone having a genuine fear or phobia of trying new foods and somebody just being fussy.

It seems to be a recurring theme with "fussy" eaters that they are grand with pizza and chips and all manners of junk. I think there comes a time when someone has to just grow up and stop being a child. Fair enough as an adult everyone is entitled to eat whatever they want - but if it is having a negative impact on a relationships, then I think that partner should stop being stubborn and open their minds up a bit. Refusing to taste something on the grounds that you mightn't like it is incredibly childish and not an attractive quality at all.

As has been mentioned though - your boyfriend needs to want to do this himself; if he has a genuine fear of new foods then by all means give him the support he needs and help introduce him to new things. But if he is just being fussy and awkward; maybe it is time to tell him to get over himself and deal with it. Sure he could go to counselling - but using his own will power and determination would get him there a lot quicker.