First ever relationship, scared!!!

LegacyUser

Hi
This is kind of embarrassing because I'm a 21 year old guy.
Basically, me and this girl were really good friends for ages and I felt strongly for her. I finally confessed last night and it turns out she has been thinking over and over in her head about wether it would work or not. She's never had a boyfriend and I've never had a girlfriend but I dont want to tell her that.
She's decided to give it a go and take things slowly so we haven't told our mutual friends yet.
After we decided last night to be together, it didn't feel weird. Which we both thought was weird.
I didn't kiss her last night, cos she's a good bit shorter than me and I knew it was going to be her first kiss and I didn't want the mechanical problems to ruin it. We were both in my car too so it didn't help. It would have been clumsy.
Should I have?
I'm over the moon with this girl and I really don't want to wreck it.
What should I do now, do I carry on as normal not answering her texts straight away and that kind of thing? She says she gets annoyed if I don't, thinking shes done something wrong.
I really don't know what I have to change now, we were never awkward about doing stuff alone together and we aren't now.
Honestly I've never been in this situation before and please I could really use some guidance about what to do next.
Thanks

Contessa Raven

Hi OP!

I can completely relate to you here because I was in this exact same position almost 3 years ago (except, I'm female! ).

I had never had a boyfriend before and when my current OH asked me out I was really scared too. He had 1 girlfriend before me but they were only together for a month or so. So we were both in the same boat pretty much.

I think you should tell her that you haven't had a girlfriend before. That way, she will feel more relaxed about this being her 1st relationship. Also, she might think that you have loads of experience and that you know what you should be doing and such, if you tell her otherwise, the pressure will be taken off you. It also leaves room for you guys to take it slowly and see how things go.

Another thing is if you tell her this you are showing her that you are honest and open and that she can trust you.

The way me and my boyfriend worked through our inexperience was by taking it at our own pace and being able to talk about where we were heading and stuff. Now, three years later, we are still madly in love and are living together with talks of building our own house to settle down in.

I think you should tell her. And as for kissing her, only do things you feel comfortable with (this goes for sex too!). First kisses tend to be a bit awkward but only at the start. After the first few seconds the rhythm should fall into place. Remember that she's probably nervous too. This is a good sign though as it means she really cares and likes you.

Best of luck OP!

CR

LegacyUser

hi op!

I'm similiar to you as I was 20 before I had a relationship. I know from experience that this is way easier said than done but my biggest piece of advice would be try not to overthink the situation. Just go with the flow and have fun. You've found someone you like and they like you too yay!! Just have fun getting to know each other, and hanging out together, all the other stuff, such as the kissing and such, will fall into place.

Trust me on that one, just dont overthink!

Taltos

Hi Op.
I got together with my best female friend when I was also 21. Married now years....
Don't beat yourself up over the kiss - BUT - make sure you kiss her on your 2nd data - you need to get over that hurdle - for both your sakes.
I was lucky - my OH towards the end of the night turned to me and said "so are you ever going to kiss me then?" - talk about a nervous deer in headlights.

Have fun, take your time - but have that kiss...
Once that is out of the way you will be surprised how much both of you can relax and enjoy yourselves more.

Abi

scared1988 wrote: »

Hi
This is kind of embarrassing because I'm a 21 year old guy.
Basically, me and this girl were really good friends for ages and I felt strongly for her. I finally confessed last night and it turns out she has been thinking over and over in her head about wether it would work or not. She's never had a boyfriend and I've never had a girlfriend but I dont want to tell her that.

Why not? I think you should. It would kind of even things out, might be a bit of a relief to her tbh.

She's decided to give it a go and take things slowly so we haven't told our mutual friends yet.After we decided last night to be together, it didn't feel weird. Which we both thought was weird. I didn't kiss her last night, cos she's a good bit shorter than me and I knew it was going to be her first kiss and I didn't want the mechanical problems to ruin it. We were both in my car too so it didn't help. It would have been clumsy.
Should I have?

Yes

I'm over the moon with this girl and I really don't want to wreck it.
What should I do now, do I carry on as normal not answering her texts straight away and that kind of thing? She says she gets annoyed if I don't, thinking shes done something wrong.

Lol why would you do that? Dont torture each other. I find it very hard not to text / call someone I care about, and my phone would never be out of my hand =P

I really don't know what I have to change now, we were never awkward about doing stuff alone together and we aren't now.
Honestly I've never been in this situation before and please I could really use some guidance about what to do next.
Thanks

Don't panic about it, change nothing. But ffs kiss her! :pac: