Huge Age Gap.. need advice

LegacyUser

Okay..here goes..me, 44 female, two kids ( girls/teenagers). Him 26 male, no kids.Going out eight months.. but still very much on the quiet.I look early thirties, and he looks around 30 .. so to other people there wouldnt look like much of a gap .. but there is! I had been widowed suddenly when my kids were smallish, and had a couple of relationships that never quite worked out, so I really concentrated on working hard to build a good life for my little family and trying not to get disappointed/heartbroken ever again..
Then, out of the blue I meet this young guy and we click..we get on so well its unreal..and I try to keep it friends/colleagues and do so for about four months, until we kissed..and there was no going back..nobody at work knows, my kids had an inkling when he came for dinner a few times, but think its 'sick/gross' and werent too happy- so I've avoided the 'talk'with them, and he doesnt really visit now( in case it all blows over or he breaks up with me and I look like a fool).The thing is we see each other quite a bit through work and manage to get out once a week or so and we each have our own houses.But, I really am starting to fall for him now..big time..he is kind and funny and sweet and I feel so stupid and wrong in my feelings, and scared Im living in la la land..and like before the bubble will burst..Dont get me wrong, Im not pursueing him or anything, he does all the calling/texting really, and still goes out with his friends etc.. but i'm reluctant to meet them as a couple-he said one of them said"when are we goin to meet the cougar then?" and I was too ashamed/embarrassed. He has told me lots of times how much he loves his niece and tbh I think he is the broody type.. but god, I dont think I want to go there again, and mother nature usually has penalties attached to much older mothers..and my kids would freak..not to mention my mother who thinks I'm a disaster with guys anyway..
Its far too soon to be having a baby type discussion I think..{ though he has said several times he loves me,}and yet if I dont face up to it I risk losing the man I've grown to ..gulp..love I suppose.. he deserves a family of his own and who am I to deny him? but do I cut my losses now and recover quickly and let him find a more suitable partner,, or do I continue on until we reach ultimatum time??
Has anybody else been there? Am I mad to be considering a pregnancy?Can we last-or is the gap just too big? What do ye think?

LegacyUser

I'm 40, fella is 27. In a long term, over 3 years now.

Only one word of advice for you. You can't be the 'conscience' for him and you. Forget about the gap and don't let the kids thing rear its head, its up to him to worry about that and decide what he is doing.

Be happy, he's an adult, he knows what hes doing and so do you. Don't wreck your head and waste your time worrying about the age gap.

You're a couple first and foremost. Do what feels right for both of you. You don't know what tomorrow brings anyway.

If the sexes were reversed people would barely bat an eyelid, just enjoy it.

LegacyUser

+1 to what me too said. my wife is 11 years older than me, it's never been an issue.