I am so hurt, any advice/opinions?

LegacyUser

I got on really well with someone for a period of time, and was going through a difficult time in my life which they were helping me with and giving advice, and also very comforting to me. I made a decision a while ago about what I was going to do to solve the problem, which for me was the best decision to make. Most of my friends agreed with me that it was and is the right thing to do, however the person that was advising me, and being a very good friend to me, completely disagree's with it, and is no longer talking to me, ever again. I am really hurt and upset, because I also really liked the person more than a friend, which I told them but didn't make a difference. I don't know what to do, I tried to talk to the person about it, but they say no more on the matter, and speak no more to me. Any advice, or opinions on this? Would you think this is fair?

Phlann

Well... some people feel very strongly on certain issues and they may feel as though they have to take a stance and stick to it. Yours wouldn't be the first friendship to be ruined by a clash of principles/morals.

There's nothing you can do really except let the person cool off. On some level they may even be hoping to guilt you out of your decision, but if you're really convinced that the decision is right, you shouldn't allow them to do that.

wurzlitzer

What was that you did, that they diagreed with so much. They probably agreed with you on some level, but you may have done what you did in a wrong way.

If you have been friends a long time they will come around....are in love with this person, maybe they are distancing themselves coz they are in a relationship, or that they may not have the same feelings for you that they have for them....

Maybe you are hurting more from what you did...or how you did it

LegacyUser

wurzlitzer wrote: »

What was that you did, that they diagreed with so much. They probably agreed with you on some level, but you may have done what you did in a wrong way.

If you have been friends a long time they will come around....are in love with this person, maybe they are distancing themselves coz they are in a relationship, or that they may not have the same feelings for you that they have for them....

Maybe you are hurting more from what you did...or how you did it

Its what I am going to do, big decision! Its to do with my life, and no one else, just me, and wouldn't effect the other person in anyway at all, or anyone else for that matter. It will not hurt anyone in anyway.

Don't know if they will ever come around ane ever talk to me again. I am not upset because they don't agree with my decision, and I am not trying to get them onside. I am REALLY upset because they no longer speak to me over it, and thats what really hurts, not anything to do with what I am going to do, but the fact that the person won't speak to me anymore. I do really like them, and the fact that they won't talk to me anymore, is the most thing that has upset me in a long time, even with all I have gone through over the past while

Am I in love with this person? Ha ha ha!!! I am not going to say here as its a public forum!!! Maybe I am, maybe I am not..... No they are not in a relationship presently. I don't know if they even like me, never mind having any feelings for me

LegacyUser

are you talking about an abortion?

LegacyUser

lop wrote: »

are you talking about an abortion?

God no, nothing like that. Its a personal problem I have, that is really effecting my life, and because the person disagree's with what I am going to do, they are no longer speaking to me

LegacyUser

let go, mate. it's the only thing you can do.

1. realise and admit and accept that they don't have special feelings to you.
2. accept that friends come and go.
3. always have hope -- maybe you guys will talk again later. maybe you will meet someone that is more acceptance towards you as an individuals and respect your own choices.
4. focus on what you have.
5. make yourself busy.

i have been there, the harder you try pushing, the further they run away. respect their choice over your friendship. and it doesnt mean that you are no good. just they can't see the goods in you. you will meet people who treasure you that avoid you.

let go, mate.