Is this is a disorder?

Ramza

OK so I've been wondering about this for a while and scouring the internet for an answer to this. I'm not sure if I'm posting in the wrong forum or whatever so I'm sorry if I am

I'll try and keep it as short as possible. I think I have some kind of compulsion or maybe disorder, but maybe you can tell me what. And I'm not trolling, I'm being deadly serious

As a person I've never took to people. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad or total sense. As a young person, I'm not into the whole modern age thing, I think standards today are really low among people. I'm the kind of person who honors my parents and tries to respect all people. I'm open minded. I'm not religious but I'm very open and respective of others who are. My standards are similar to those of some religions though but that's how I live as a person.

I prefer to be totally alone or with my best friends. around others I don't do so well cause no one today appeals to me. I read something about INTROVERTS or something. I usually spend most time alone on purpose or feel like I need the time alone before I socialize.

Growing up I had 4 best friends whom I still talk to and see everyday and I was wholly happy with said people as they were my best friends and I never took to anyone else. I know a lot of nice and cool people from other places just in passing but I have select best friends. In general my view of people is pretty bad ; I know I don't know anyone just by looking at them but I tend to have a mindset that tells me 99.9% of people aren't worth it.

In school I'll be honest I don't know anyone nor like anyone on par with what I said in the opening paragraph. In fact when I have to listen to them it really makes me angry. I don't like how they act and talk and I'd say most young people ion the country are like that. I haven't got the time of day for anyone tbh in my school. Sometimes I think so much about it, it really depresses me

Like I said before I'm quite a simple and nice guy. My parents divorced at a young age (7, I'm 19 now and I can say I've never gotten over it). My father lives in a small place about 20 minutes from my home. None of my other siblings talk to my father, plus my parents never had to deal with a divorce so it's hard to talk to anyone about it since I'm the only one who loves my father out of my whole family. I visit my Da and spend the day with him most Saturdays and I really enjoy it. I sometimes help my Da with jobs whether it be in town doing shopping or fixing something/painting etc. I know some people say to me they wouldn't be seen dead in public with their parents. I don't understand this. It really makes me sad, one time I was helping my Da with his shopping one time when I saw a group of people from my school. So I looked right past them and they pointed and laughed and heard some people say mean things to me. I don't see what's wrong about respecting and honoring your parents and helping them out. I mean it made me so sad, like why has no one got standards among most people? It really upsets me and I feel like I'm alone in the midst of people cause I'm not like them?

Here is the second part I've been wondering on ; At random times I just start to miss people. I don't know what it is. A memory will pop into my head and I'll just start to cry or something. For example I was about 12 or so and I was in town and suddenly I wanted to see my da. So I ran as fast as I could to his house crying the whole way for some reason. I could feel my throat locking up etc. When I got there it seemed like he wasn't there but he answered in a few minutes. I came in and couldn't stop crying and I told my father how much I loved him etc. And I was so happy spending the day with him. Is this weird?

This morning I was getting ready for school and it happened I just started thinking back to said moment and got rly sad. But then I thought about seeing my dad later on and was really happy.

Also, recently I met a new friend, who is 24 I think. I met him at a gaming social meetup and we talk on msn a lot and when I see him in person I talk to him a lot and we get on great. One night I thought about how cool of a person he is, and how much I like him (not in a homosexual way). And I had high hopes we could become good friends in the future. I don't know why but I think about the new friendship a lot, I mean not obsessively but a lot.

It made me so happy that I had met someone who agrees with me on stuff and who I can talk to. I was so excited when I thought about the future as friends and abbe all the other people like him/me I could meet. Is this weird or wrong in any way? I think I tend to think about people a lot and I'm a very sensitive guy

LegacyUser

Honestly, and I have no expertise, you sound like a very disturbed young man. You values and morals towards your family are commendable but your world view is skewed. It sounds to me like you are forcing yourself into isolation when, even if you don't realise its on a subconscious level, you don't really want to. You have some emotional issues that need to be dealt with, that much would seem clear. You say you've never gotten over your parents divorce that was 12 years ago. I think its time you talked to someone and dealt with and overcame this emotional hurdle.

Parents divorcing is not something you have ever have to be happy about but actively not being over it 12 years later is not natural. Also, everyone gets the piss taken out of them in school. Kids are like that. Yeah some kids at a certain age don't want to be seen out with their folks. Its natural enough. It doesn't mean they don't love them.

It could be the case that your looking down your nose at the 99.9% of people who aren't worth it was quite obvious. People are going to react to that kind of attitude.

Anyway, you need to seek help in my opinion. Call the Samaritans or someone that can help you start to deal with your issues

daisybelle2008

You are right your parents divorce did affect you. On some level you are both lonely for company and also distrustful and fearful of letting people get close. The feelings you had about being scared and anxious about your father not being there show this. You have some good friends and a good relationship with your dad and a new friend you have a lot in common with. There is nothing wrong with you. But you say you are open minded but yet say very negative things about 99.9% of people. Other people are mostly just like you and the rest of us, trying to fit in and like themselves. Be kinder about other people and not going on about their standards not being the same as yours. That is trying to make yourself superior so as not to get hurt. See everyone as equals and humans with flaws deserving of love like the rest of us. Those people who act badly maybe had someone treat them bad and they are acting out. Everyone is good underneath, we are born that way. Hard times make hard people. So try to stop judging others and be yourself, it is enough.

sam34

Ramza wrote: »

I think I have some kind of compulsion or maybe disorder, but maybe you can tell me what.

noone on the internet can tell you what you may or may not have

you should discuss your concerns with a doctor

Victor

seekhelp wrote: »

Honestly, and I have no expertise, you sound like a very disturbed young man.

I think "very" is a gross overstatement.

OP, some people are introverted, some extroverted and many/most are somewhere in between with bursts of either. Some people can be quite open with a certain group, e.g. personal friends, but be quite closed when it comes to school or work colleagues.

You won't find the answer to the big questions on the internet and even doctors aren't allowed self diagnose. So, have a word with your doctor and explain what you've said here. If thats not an option, there are other you can talk to - do you have a school counsellor? Or there are phone lines like Childline or the Samaritans.

http://www.childline.ie/
http://www.teenline.ie/
http://www.spunout.ie/help/
http://www.dublinsamaritans.ie/ (lots of branches around ireland)

LegacyUser

Sorry but I don't agree. These aren't minor issues. He has a long, hard and lonely life ahead of him unless he adjusts his attitudes, view of the world and the people in it and deals with some pretty obvious emotional issues , in my opinion.

Agent J

There is a medical saying

"Self diagnosis is no diagnosis"

You can pretty much adapt that to

"Internet diagnosis is no diagnosis"

Nobody here is trained to diagnose or give any kind of medical opinion.

Talk to a doctor or some other professional about your concerns.
Someone else has already posted some useful links.

Personal opinion (Like everyone elses take with a large pinch of salt).
Whatever makes you happy and harms no one, Keep doing it.

stephen_n

You might want to talk to a bereavement counselor!

I agree with the above posts; you cant take random internet people's advice on this as being a diagnosis. However, if it's opinions you want, here's mine:

Unless you've been off microwaving kittens somewhere and didn't think to mention it here, I'm pretty sure you are not a "very disturbed young man".
You're clearly aware that your parents divorce affects you still today. From the sounds of it, you've had other issues to deal with too. If you feel like you can't help your dad with the shopping without getting hassle then of course you're going to get hang ups about other people.

You do need to talk to a professional. If you are not happy, you need to talk to a professional. But dont get scared thinking you have something wrong with you. Everyone has issues. These are yours. It's not your fault if you have issues, but it is your fault if you dont do something about it. Go and see someone who can help.

LegacyUser

Just to add weight to the others' posts above, I think it would be worth your while talk to someone professional about this OP. Contrary to the rather odd opinion offered above, I very much doubt you're "a very disturbed young man" based on what you described here - bearing in mind I'm not a medic, and if I was I wouldn't be handing out diagnoses on here anyway.

On the other hand, you're obviously having some difficulties that are causing you some concern and stress. It doesn't have to be a big deal, but there are plenty of options and help to deal with this kind of thing. With some help, you'll be better able to get things onto a more even keel for yourself and gain more from the good parts of your life, and be better able to deal with the not so good parts if and when you come across them.

Any of the organisations Victor mentioned would be a good place to get some assistance and advice, or you can just approach your GP if you want, who will be able to point you towards suitable help - they deal with this kind of thing all the time. Whichever way you go, I would recommend looking for help, and there are a lot of folks out there ready and willing to provide it.

Re disorders and all that, it might be or it might not be - there are some disorders that share characteristics mentioned, and there are some that don't. Bear in mind though that a lot of psychological disorders involve more severe and more disruptive versions of things that healthy folks (or folks with more minor difficulties) will experience too from time to time - feeling anxious or depressed for instance - so figuring out exactly which is which is best left to a professional. Either way, that's not the kind of question you're going to get answered online, either from folks like me or your own research. A professional will be able to determine if there is any specific issue there, and how best to go about sorting it out. At the end of the day, whether it matches off some particular disorder or not, you're obviously having some troubles, and that can be sorted out with the right help.