Need help - anxiety in 9-year old is getting critical

seven stars

Can anyone recommend a professional who can help us?

Our 9-yr-old girl is in a terrible state. She was always a happy girl, but she was prone to worrying. She has a particular problem with the thought of getting sick, and if she sees or hears about anyone else getting sick (in school, e.g.) she'll be in a state for the day.

This last while things have taken a turn for the worse. Someone in her class was getting sick about a month ago, and our girl has been a disaster since: she won't sleep alone and gets psychosomatic (is that the word?) illnesses as a result - sore belly, headaches, nausea etc. We thought we'd only be making it worse by letting her into our bed, so we haven't done that.

Recently they had swine flu injections in the school, and we excused our girl from it (because we knew what she'd be like), but some of the other children fainted and got sick - which was moew than enough to set our girl off. When we went in for her she was pure white and shaking like a leaf.

Now she's hysterical about going to school (although we've made her) and things are awful. The poor girl knows that it's irrational, but she can't help it. She is constantly miserable and pale and exhausted, and we don't know what to do.

Can anyone recommend someone who can help? Someone in the Celbridge/Maynooth/Leixlip/Lucan area would be ideal, but we'd travel a bit if necessary.

cynder

Speek to your doctor and get a referal to a child pyschologist....
is she being bullied???

brainyneuron

Take her to craniosacral therapy. Its like physiotherapy but doesn't involve actual movement of limbs, joints etc. Basically it works with energy levels in the body and sorts out any problems. I'm not explaining it very well so I know it may sound like 'quack' science but its really good! Around the time of my final year college exams a few years ago, I was having problems sleeping and having frequent headaches, I went to a few sessions of CST which helped loads (I was reluctant at first, I didn't have a clue what it involved!) My friend's mum had a child recently and she was really fussy, a bit detached from her parents, cried all the time and was frequently ill. Again, after a few sessions of CST she was like a new child.

seven stars

Thanks for the replies.

Grindelwald - no, we're fairly sure she's not being bullied. I think it mostly stems from her fear of getting sick, and her need to be around a parent in case she does get sick. Her fear of getting sick makes her feel sick, so it's a vicious cycle.

Brainyneuron - cheers for that, I'll look into it. We'd be open to anything if it could help our daughter and our family.

Stella777

Does she have internet access? I ask because it's very easy to become anxious if one looks up symptoms online.

Does she watch any TV shows about hospitals or doctors?

If the answer is yes, you might consider limiting her access to both of the above.

I have a 9 year old who can at times become anxious about diseases, though not as severly as what you've described with your daughter. The father of one of his friends recently died of cancer and I found him looking up cancer information online. I put a stop to it. The problem at that age is that they are old enough to sort of understand the information, but not quite old enough to really put it into perspective.

For example, if you look up the word "mole" online, you will get all sorts of information. It will range from a matter-of-fact explanation that moles are something most people have somewhere on their bodies to absolute horror stories about terminal melanoma. Kids don't necessarily have the ability to weigh and filter information in the same fashion adults do.

If she's literally making herself sick and is as miserable as she sounds, therapy does sound like a good idea.

seven stars

Hi Stella, our girl doesn't go onto the internet much at all, and we'd always be supervising her if she does (Club Penguin is about the height of it - and she doesn't get on that much). They only watch children's television as well. Totally agree about the dangers of the Internet and television when it comes to these sorts of things though - that's one of the reasons we keep a fairly close eye on what she's exposed to.

Nevyn

I would suggest bringing her to the dr and getting a referal.

How much about her bodies immune system does she know about?
I found that explaining it helped my son, there was a really good program called "Thats life" which went throught the different workings of the body in a way kids can understand.

seven stars

Thanks Thaedydal - was that a tv programme? Sounds like it could help.

We've a child therapist/psychologist coming to see her, so we'll see how that goes. She's improved a lot the last couple of days, but we need to confront the issue before the next episode.

Nevyn

IT was a tv program and you can by the dvd box set of it
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_Upon_a_Time..._Life
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Once-Upon-Time-Life-fois/dp/B002XCPNUK/ref=pd_sim_sbs_sw_h__1

nesf

brainyneuron wrote: »

Take her to craniosacral therapy. Its like physiotherapy but doesn't involve actual movement of limbs, joints etc. Basically it works with energy levels in the body and sorts out any problems. I'm not explaining it very well so I know it may sound like 'quack' science but its really good! Around the time of my final year college exams a few years ago, I was having problems sleeping and having frequent headaches, I went to a few sessions of CST which helped loads (I was reluctant at first, I didn't have a clue what it involved!) My friend's mum had a child recently and she was really fussy, a bit detached from her parents, cried all the time and was frequently ill. Again, after a few sessions of CST she was like a new child.

Seven stars, ignore the above post. It is quack science. Talking to your GP and getting a referral to a child psychologist is the best option.

Caitriona

Seven Stars, could your poor girl be emetophobic?

I suffer from emetophobia myself - I'm not so bothered by being sick myself, though some sufferers are (to the point of refusing to eat in case it makes them sick), but I have severe panic attacks if someone else does, or at times even if I hear someone with a bad cough. There are tv shows I absolutely won't watch because they once showed someone vomiting (though my DH has become quite expert with the mute button, as it's quicker than changing channel!), there are streets I'm not comfortable driving down because I once saw someone vomit on them, I don't like driving past pubs late at night, particularly in town, I'm scared of airports, planes and boats (not of flying or sailing, just other people's possible travel sickness!), and I haven't slept properly in 3 weeks because I had the winter vomiting bug myself and have since been terrified that my DH will catch it - I wake up every time he so much as rolls over in bed now. Does that sound similar to your daughter's situation?

seven stars

Thanks for the help everyone.

Caitriona - If she doesn't have that, then she definitely has something similar to it. The mention or thought of sickness is what sets her off. Example: our son (7) fainted while he was having bloods taken at the doctors. No big deal, and he was right as rain a few minutes later. Our daughter wasn't even there, but when she later heard that he had fainted, she went pale. Imagine the scene: he was back to normal, out playing, and she was in worrying about the whole thing, to the point where she actually threw up everywhere.

I think there's more to it than fear of sickness though, because at night time she's often told us that she can't explain why she feels the way she does, and that she's not thinking about antyhing specific (like vomiting) - she's just anxious and she can't be left on her own and she doesn't know why.

Cerocco

Maybe something to consider would be Cognative Behavioural Therapy. Look it up and see what you think.

KnocKnocKnock

I would agree with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy too. She needs help with interpretation and focus on situations. She seems to focus on sickness and the associated suffering, maybe emphasize with her the fact that these people who fainted or were getting sick soon came through it and she that would too, should it happen to her

seven stars

Thanks for everyone's help with this. We had a psychologist/therapist in to see our daughter, and she's going to refer her to someone who specialises in this type of thing.

Meanwhile, our daughter has improved a bit. We've been working through this book:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-You-Worry-Much/dp/1591473144/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268227711&sr=8-3

It uses cognitive behavioural techniques apparently, and I think it has been very helpful. On the other hand, these things tend to be episodic, so she may have been due to improve anyway.

cynder

glad things are starting to improve. best of luck.

bigmomma

hello seven stars....its been a few years since you wrote about your daughter and her sickness problem im just wondering if everything worked out for her and if so how did you do it...