I don't like my life

LegacyUser

I know its cliche to say if you dont like your life then just change it but I am not sure how.

I am fast approaching my 32 birthday and I really get depressed about what I have done in life up till now

It really depresses me that I let my 20's go without really living it up and enjoying it, what I mean by that is going traveling and having fun with the opposite sex if you know what I mean :-)

Basically I have grown up all my life with very low self esstem and very low self image and confidence,this in part is because I have been overweight all my life

I went out alright when I was in college but approaching girls wouldnt even have registered with me because of these issues

I am now in a job thats ok I suppose but I am just sick of the routine, mean is this my life now, is this where I should be winding down

Sometimes I fantasise about going back to college to try and recapture the good times I missed out on but im way tool old and mature to be hanging about at partys with 20 year olds now

I just dont know, maybe I should pack in the job and go travelling but I cant do that because of the recession plus I am paying back a 13k loan

I shouldnt really feel this tied down because, I dont have a mortgage,im not in a relationship or do I have kids

The weekends are very boring for me these days because most of my friends have settled down and are married.

One thing I need to sort out is my weight issue, but how do I do that when I love Beer, Love wine, love junk food and my current boring life drives me towards theses things

If anyone has any advice on what I should do I would love some ideas

Kevster

Hi,

there's nothing stopping you from just stepping outside of your current routine and doing things differently, one by one. You do'nt have to go into work at t he same time each day - you can go in earlier if you like, and then see how that makes you feel. You could also start buying a new style of clothes, NOT going out with the same group of friends, asking someone to go out to lunch with you, etc. You are not trapped into your routine. Step outsid of it in the metaphysical sense, and then you'll also step outside it in the physical sense.

Granted, depression can drag us down and make us not feel like changing things, but change is a must here. Be proud of what you have done and achieved so far too; and stop comparing your achievement to those of others. im approaching my 27th birthday but have only had sex one (and hated it). Does this bother me? - not one bit. I dont compare my life to anyone else's anymore. I do what I want to do, not what others want me to do.

Kevin

Agent J

Wanting to change your life is a huge undertaking. You can feeling like it is one massive task to start.

However if you think about it, Just start small. Try changing one thing at time and see if you like it. If you dont then try something else. There is nothing wrong

Try a new hobby, take up some sort of exercise or some sort of educational course. Step out of your comfort zone!

You have total control of the situation. You can look for ideas, suggestions and advise but you are the one who can change it.

Exclamation Marc

The other guys summed it up perfectly.

The best advice I can repeat is just take it one small step at a time. If you attempt a major overhaul all at once, you might (like we all would) struggle and end up back at the start.

Just maybe set out one thing a month for example. You know for March, maybe try joining a sports team if you're into any sports or a social club or maybe an evening course of some sort.

Or if you have a few extra quid, maybe spend every other weekend travelling Europe on cheapy flights. Ireland sucks for parties and clubs, so maybe a bit of European travel might brighten you up on that scene, trust me, guys and girls are so much friendlier and accomodating and generally nice in clubs and bars across Europe. Many a time have I sat on my own in a pub in London and people just start chatting with me and really reaffirming my belief that the world is full of potential relationships, completely contrary to what you find in Ireland a lot of the time.

Yeah your 20s are behind you, but your 30s are in front of you, take the initiative to ensure you're not sitting here approaching 42, cursing the same things.

delta720

Reminds me of this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEJC2VyKgjI

vicecreamsundae

i agree with what everyone has said about you can make simple changes over time. but i think one thing you really need to work on is your job, seeing as you said you really don't enjoy it. 32 is SO NOT too old to change career paths, and definitely too young to feel trapped in a job. I would definitely recommend a career change. Think about what you would like to do, or even talk to a guidance counsellor maybe. 32 is not too old to go back to college! At all! There were plenty of mature students when i was at college and nobody considered them weirdos! [well... certainly not the ones in their 30s anyway!].

I'd also suggest moving countries, because I love a change of scene, but I understand that might be a bit drastic or unrealistic for some people.

if you're worried about your weight you should try joining weight watchers. I wouldnt be an expert in diets and the like, but it does seem like a more manageable, realistic program -as in you dont have to cut out any particular food/drink so long as you ration out your 'points'.

and definitely find a new social outlet whether your thing is sports/poetry readings/karaoke/volunteering... it's amazing the difference meeting new people and making new friends can make to your life!!

LegacyUser

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

ody considered them weirdos! [well... certainly not the ones in their 30s anyway!].

I'd also suggest moving countries, because I love a change of scene, but I understand that might be a bit drastic or unrealistic for some people.

I would actually disagree with this point, as even if you did move to another country you still bring all the worries and problems with you. Granted new places can prove to help, but they also can prove to be lonely and you may find it hard to meet new people for a while (which deffo will not help with your current feelings).

I would be a big advocate for the small steps method. I myself have being trying to change my life for the better and have found that this does indeed help allot. Try make a small goal each month.

Also keep the faith , if your not happy with your life, you can change it. Thats the beauty of living your own life, its yours to shape and mold. Also, looking at the past failures or things you missed can sometimes hinder you more than you know. Thinking of the past is like looking through a window, you can see it and remember how you feel about it, but you cant touch it or change it, thats what the now is there for .