What is this?

LegacyUser

Ok here goes...

Start seeing this girl back in September, started off as a casual sex thing. Met up every couple of weeks. This gradually built up to every week. She began staying in mine, mine in hers, going for drinks etc etc. Basically like a relationship but without actually saying it is.

She brought it up a couple of times and we both decided we're not ready for a relationship. But the problem is now I think I am. I'm not comfortable with the idea of her seeing other people and also my feelings have run deeper than before. I'm trying to suss her out but I dont know what to make of it all. We both have plans the next couple of weekends so will probably only see each other one or two nights out of the fortnight.

Some things she says is like she wants a relationship but then she'll go and text and say 'had fun last night', which makes me believe its still all about the sex with her.

I know most of you are going to say to talk to her but to be honest im terrified to coz if she says she doesnt want a relationship it'll mean the end of us altogether and I dont want that.

This is frustrating the hell out of me, really dont know what to do! HELP!

TitoPuente

Well you'll just have to confront your fears to be honest. You have to talk to her, ask her if she's willing to take it further, make it exclusive and go forward with a meaningful relationship. It's either that or keep schtum and torture yourself, not knowing where you stand with her and the possibility that she'll meet someone else and leave you behind.

To be honest, if she likes you enough then she'll be willing to commit to something more serious. If she isn't willing then she probably doesn't see any future for the two of you other than a casual fling and will be looking to keep her options open. In which case you'd be better off calling it off immediately before you get hurt.

Take it from someone who knows from recent experience!

LegacyUser

OP here..

Yeh I see your point. I do need to bite the bullet and say something. It's definitely not worth feeling like this. Thing is, when we're together it's like we're a couple. We even spent valentines together.

I get that she was burned before - so was I, even more so. I'd love to make a go of it. I guess i'm just afraid of rejection.

Stayed in hers last night, she text me this evening and we've been texting ever since (cant call much as where she lives there isnt much coverage). It's constant texting and contact, she's spent the past 5 weekends with me, we went away new years, everything is pointing towards a relationship but for some reason I think i'm losing her?

fairycakes

Hi OP

Your best to sort this out now as the longer it goes on the worse it will wreck your head, If your a bit shy about talking to her could you email or text her and ask her would she like to be in an exclusive relationship? The worst that can happen she will say no and to be honest you will be better off knowing now rather then six months time when your feelings have grown even deeper...bite the bullet I bet any money she just waiting for you to say it and feels the same

Good luck!
Fairycakes