Please help another online dating q

LegacyUser

Hi All,

I know there has been alot of these questions lately so I am sorry to bore you all and hope you can take the time to read and reply.

I am going out with a guy a month now that I had been talking to on an online dating website since the 1st of March.
Everything was going great and he seems like a lovely guy who I enjoy spending time with and look forward to meeting up. We speak every day and meet up three times a week.
We had a little hiccup there about a week and a half ago, I had a problem and we sorted it out. He hadn't logged onto the dating site until the night of our falling out so when a friend said they'd seen him on it, I logged in and checked myself. I hadn't been on it myself since we met.
I just put it down to the fact that we had the glitch and he didn't know how things would pan out.
But then today I found out after a week and a bit of getting on really really well, he was so attentive, affectionate and chatty and made an effort, I found out that he had logged onto the site just before I rang him last night..
I just don't understand why.. I thought we were more or less together as we are intimate and have discussed stuff in the future..
The thing is I am meeting him in a couple of hours and would like opinions on how to broach the subject without coming on too strong..
I am not insecure or that but I feel a bit disappointed that things seemed to be going so well and generally people only go on dating websites to meet people..

All opinions would be very much appreciated as head is in a muddle here

Thank you so much for your time

Mozart1986

On a dating website the worst thing you can do is put all of your eggs in one basket. He is most likely looking around in case it doesn't work out with you. If he is being affectionate and you are right in believing that he likes you, then he may just be insecure in himself. He may have been let down by women before and he doesn't want to get his hopes up too early on. Dating websites are a numbers game. So he is most likely just covering all of his bases and there is no way that any lad would be smitten with a girl off a site so unless he is meeting up with them you have nothing to worry about.

Goodluck, hope it works out well;)

Mozart1986

Btw, is there any chance you can give me advice on how to approach these dating websites. I have been having trouble with them. Do girls expect to text and message for months before meeting up? You said that it was March 1st that you started chatting to him? Thats a long time to be chatting, I'd have run out of things to ask/talk about. Did you use free sites or pay sites?

Sharlovesjohn

I met my current bf online...
Together 15 mths live together and all,
but when we first got chatting I expected it to go no where Im only 21 and was looking for some fun someone to hang out with etc things grew between us and after a couple of months I asked him would he removed his advert on the site and of course he did now we were together 4/5 months at this stage we were taking things slow but never the less keeping our options open, which is all i say he's doing you do realise you may know he very well etc from talking online but you need to get to know him personally now little habbits they do you mighten like etc same goes for him take it slow if you feel like your falling for him then Id have a talk about the sites and closing accounts etc otherwise take your time and put them to the back of your mind he may have friends there he chats too I know theres guys i got friendly with and never really fancied or anything that i still talk too

Sharlovesjohn

Mozart1986 wrote: »

Btw, is there any chance you can give me advice on how to approach these dating websites. I have been having trouble with them. Do girls expect to text and message for months before meeting up? You said that it was March 1st that you started chatting to him? Thats a long time to be chatting, I'd have run out of things to ask/talk about. Did you use free sites or pay sites?

If you like a girl and have been getting on well etc then why wouldnt you ask them out they'll clearly tell you whether its a no yes or I want to get to know you better -ones that say no but still want you to talk to them Id stay away from Iv seen from men they can be ones looking for attention.

Meet in a public place so if it doesnt go well no ones has addresses etc

i find this sites so good for cutting out BS if you like someone get chatting if not no harm done theres plenty more

Mozart1986

Sharlovesjohn wrote: »

If you like a girl and have been getting on well etc then why wouldnt you ask them out they'll clearly tell you whether its a no yes or I want to get to know you better -ones that say no but still want you to talk to them Id stay away from Iv seen from men they can be ones looking for attention.

Meet in a public place so if it doesnt go well no ones has addresses etc

i find this sites so good for cutting out BS if you like someone get chatting if not no harm done theres plenty more

Yeah, thanks for responding, sorry I don't want to take over your thread op:o

Yeah I get that really. Girls will be candid, yes/no and all that, but the fact is their not. I chat to a few girls and I've asked a few out for tea or whatever after a couple of weeks of chatting (which is a well long enough amount of time) and I've rarely got any sort of explicit responses. People on the free sites are ridiculously flaky and often they are just bored at home and are using them for the "personality tests", quizes and just to chat, without any intention. There is honestly nothing wrong with me and women tell me I'm very attractive but when you just don't get any significant interest it makes you feel like there is something wrong with you, and too old to be thinking such BS-teen-anxty thoughts like that. If you express the slightest bit of excentricity you scare every single girl off, and you just get more and more bitter, which makes it harder to interact or even respect women in a vicious cycle:(

Sharlovesjohn

Mozart1986 wrote: »

Yeah, thanks for responding, sorry I don't want to take over your thread op:o

Yeah I get that really. Girls will be candid, yes/no and all that, but the fact is their not. I chat to a few girls and I've asked a few out for tea or whatever after a couple of weeks of chatting (which is a well long enough amount of time) and I've rarely got any sort of explicit responses. People on the free sites are ridiculously flaky and often they are just bored at home and are using them for the "personality tests", quizes and just to chat, without any intention. There is honestly nothing wrong with me and women tell me I'm very attractive but when you just don't get any significant interest it makes you feel like there is something wrong with you, and too old to be thinking such BS-teen-anxty thoughts like that. If you express the slightest bit of excentricity you scare every single girl off, and you just get more and more bitter, which makes it harder to interact or even respect women in a vicious cycle:(

I would say there is alot of girls out there on the sites just to make themselves feel better attention from a good looking man can really leave you on a high, make it clear on your profile your not looking to be messed aroundyour looking for dates clearly say this to any girl when you first start chatting - ask them what their looking for out of the site
if things go well and you ask for a date and they decline they let them know your not looking for a friend to chat to your looking for a meaningful relationship there is plenty of women out there so dont feel so bad if the first few knock you back i know there a few women out there with there eye on a few men put monitoring him before they chat see who he's talking to etc

Mozart1986

Sharlovesjohn wrote: »

i know there a few women out there with there eye on a few men put monitoring him before they chat see who he's talking to etc

Girls can tell who you're chatting to? What site is that? How can girls moniter you before you send a message? Your profile is typically static.