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  • 20-02-2010 4:35am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm an 18yo(nearly 19yo) male college student with no friends at all outside college. I've always struggled in social situations since i was a young child. I was extremely shy. I barely talked at school and when i did there was only 1 or 2 people i could feel comfortable talking to. I had a couple of friends outside school but they've long since drifted away. So i've basically been friendless for about 4 years now. Its not been easy as you can imagine but i suppose you just get used to it after a while.

    I've been going to counselling for a couple of years now it has helped but in all honesty i'm basically in the exact same place i was when i started except now i'm in college not school. I remember in my last year of school i made a conscious decision to forget about the people in my school and have a fresh start with new people at college who didn't know me. So i totally isolated myself from them instead of trying to make friends with them(which i seriously regret as i'm sure i could have had i not been so afraid of rejection). I think i probably came across as arrogant or aloof at school but if i did it was just a defence mechanism.

    So anyway here i am now totally isolated and completely alone and as you can imagine my social skills aren't nearly as developed as they should be and i'm very naive in social situations.

    I often wonder "how the f*** did i manage to get myself in this situation??" its not like i didn't have oppurtunities to meet other people i was just afraid and avoided the few oppurtunities that came my way. I suppose the fear of making friends with someone only for them to find out what a loser i am has stopped me trying to make friends with people. Its a vicious cycle.

    I've only now started gaining my confidence a little i used to have really low self esteem. And people have said i'm quite good looking so i can't really use the i'm too ugly excuse.

    But other than the fact i have no friends i'm a fairly typical teenager i like sports and music etc.

    I'm really not sure if i have Social Anxiety Disorder or if i'm just way out of practice socially. I'm just so lost at the moment. I'm struggling to focus at college because obviously i'm more concerned about my huge social problems than my assignments.

    A huge thanks for reading i didn't think it would be this long

    Where do i go from here?
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