Is he leading me on or just shy?

LegacyUser

Okay, I usually think that when lads are genuinely interested, they do something about it (ie. make a move) and if they're not doing anything, then girls have an awful tendency to make excuses for them, like "he's shy" or whatever.

So right now I am very confused as I can't tell whether a lad I really like is disinterested, leading me on, or just shy. He keeps giving me mixed signals, and I don't know whether I should make a move (which I'm terrified of, cos we're very good friends) or just keep my cool and see what happens.

He does things like put his arm around me when we're hanging out, sends me sweet little texts after we were hanging out, but then backs out on (admittedly casual) arrangements at the last minute, usually ones where it'd be just the two of us.

His best friend hinted that he might like me a few times, but I was too scared to say I liked him, in case he totally doesn't like me at all, and I was reading everything wrong.

I know this sounds silly, but he's really good looking and loads of girls are constantly hitting on him, so I think that he might be a bit out of my league and only sees me as a friend. Nearly everyone seems to think we're an item already, cos we spend a lot of time together, but I dunno if that just means we're stuck in the "friend zone" or as one of my friends said, lads don't tend to spend that much time with girls unless they're interested in more.

Sorry if I've offended anyone with the generalisations about lads!

But anyway, what do you think? I'm especially interested in what the lads think!

LegacyUser

So Confused wrote: »

Okay, I usually think that when lads are genuinely interested, they do something about it (ie. make a move)

That's not always true- shyness, or (just as common) lack of self-belief and fear of rejection can affect a lot of guys, even those who come across as confident.

Really the only way you're going to know the score is to either ask him straight out yourself if he's interested, or else maybe get a friend to have a chat with him if you'd find that too awkward. If it's done right, even if he says no your friendship should still be salvageable.

Angus Og

He likes you, and he's probably thinking the same thing you are: Will this ruin our friendship?

You might have to make the first move, but don't fret, you sound close and I doubt he would do anything to hurt you.

phillipo

dont die wondering.

plus proper friendships (which it sounds like u have) aren't ruined in this way, d worst he can say is he's not interested then yous wil just get on wit things as normal i promise i've been der (but wat if he is interested?). We worry far too much about trivial matters like this, given worse case scenario (watever u imagine it 2 b) it'll b forgotten if not in days then a week or 2 and won't matter a damn in d grand scheme of life.

I cud go on a philosophical rant here but i won't, but for god sake just grab life by the balls and say somethin woman:)

LegacyUser

Thanks for the thoughts.

Ah, I am sooo scared to say or do anything though. I actually don't know how!

I don't wanna make a big deal of it, cos even if we do get with each other, it might not work out, and I don't want to be getting all serious about it. I think part of me is a bit afraid if anything does happen, it might get quite intense, quite quickly.

How can I do something/make a move, but keep it lighthearted? (and not scary for him or me!)

LegacyUser

So Confused wrote: »

Thanks for the thoughts.

Ah, I am sooo scared to say or do anything though. I actually don't know how!

I don't wanna make a big deal of it, cos even if we do get with each other, it might not work out, and I don't want to be getting all serious about it. I think part of me is a bit afraid if anything does happen, it might get quite intense, quite quickly.

How can I do something/make a move, but keep it lighthearted? (and not scary for him or me!)

its better to regret doing something, than not doing something.

make a move

phillipo

i'll save ya the hassle of saying anything, you can just go out with me and keep him as a friend:D Just say d word and i'm yours;)

Nevyn

phillipo do not try and hit on posters it's not helpful.

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Thaedydal

phillipo

woops sorry, just jokin:D