Depressed

pedantic.pat

Hi guys,

Really don't know where else to go with this as i can't discuss the problem with anyone only my family because of the taboo subject and i am ridiculously worried about my brother. Sorry about the structure of this as its all going through my head as i type this. Its quite long but please keep with it.

Just a bit of background:

Basically my brother has been on anti depressants since the age of 12. He has had the usual problems which all of our family experienced in school ( bullying etc.). I should also point out he is the youngest in the family.

Fast forward few years: He went off the anti D's for a few months after the leaving cert. Month after he goes colege hes back on anti D's saying hes deeply unhappy in college in Limerick(no confidence low self asteem - he said he has "**** going on in his head that he has to sort out".) He basically lived for the w/e coming home to see his g/f. 4 months months into colege year hes thinking about dropping out. I advised him to do whatever his gut tells him.- my parents made the decision to drop him out of college.

I did not realise the magnitude of his problem at this stage. Few weeks after dropping out of college and my parents telling me theyre having serious problems with my brother.
1. They cant get him out of the bed before 2 o clock in the afternoon staying up all night.
2. As soon as they confront him about his behaviour - not pulling his weight around the house basically if they set any boundaries for him he flies of the handle and roars and hits presses in the house. Three windows in the house have been broken and kicked the bottom panel out of the door in rage in the space of a week. Parents worried sick at this stage.

Now i realise he has a serious problem: He had been seeing a councilor and a doctor for months. My parents were in close contact with the doctor re his behaviour. The doctor says there is a bed in one of the acute psychiatric teaching hospitals in the country for him and he would strongly advise he took it as he was "crying out for help that day". At first i was apprehensive saying no way should he go given the stigma attached to such places. Then i came around to it being a good idea. He basically went in to be weened off the anti D's as he could only be taken off under medical supervision. He lasted a week and a half in hospital with someone from the family visiting him everyday being very supportive. Took alot of positives from this as he was able to articulate what was annoying him - instead of "**** going on in my head" We thought the worst was over.- how wrong we were...

Since he checked himself out of the hospital he has been on off with the g/f and is lying on the couch curled up in a ball all day during the week but at the w/e's was in ok form.

Last w/e he came home devestated saying he broke up with the g/f . would'nt talk to anyone curls up in a ball on the couch withh the hood up . He tells them he is suicidal.Parents are on verge of nervous breakdown at this stage. They cannot sleep at night checking him several times a night sleeping on couch. hid everything he could harm himself with. He did'nt talk to either of them for 3 days. They decide to bring him back to the hospital. When he sees the front gates reality hits home and he says i'm not going back here kicks up a fuss. Parents end up bringing him home on the way home he starts talking for the first time in 3 days.

So basically it is getting worse and worse and i don't know who i am more worried about my parents or him. As they have aged 10 years in the last month. Everytime i go home its like walking on egg shells. My parents are whispering saying what he said to them and what we are going to do. That is all we talk about and nothing else. Its taking over my parents life and i am worried sick about them and him.

Could somene please advise me on getting help for my parents aswell as my brother as i don't have a clue what to do or where to go next. Ive never had to deal with anything like this before.

Lastly sincere apologies that this post is'nt well articulated as imy head is just cluttered with the details at the minute.

Thanks alot for reading.

Pat

sam34

hi pat

your brother needs a further psychiatric assessment.

if he is not willing to go get this done himself, his family can make an application to have it done

what you do is go to his GP and say you want to make an application for assessment under the mental health act.

this request cannot be refused.

you will have to fill out a form, which the gp will have.

then, within 24 hours of you signing that form, the gp has to see your brother. dont worry if he wont go to the surgery, the gp will then have to arrange to go to him. it's not a choice, it's the law, so its up to the gp to get to see him.

if the gp agrees that he needs psych assessment, he will fill out another form.
(note, if the gp doesnt feel he needs psych assessment, then the gp is legally obliged NOT to sign teh form...if that happens, you can always seek a second opinion, but you will be asked if a go has already refused the application)


you will than have to get your bro to the local psych unit. how this happens varies across the country. ideally, he would agree to go with you. some hospitals send out staff to bring people in, others use an agency located in naas (i think). in other areas the guards will help. your gp should know what the local policy is, or if he doesnt know a quick phonecall to the psych unit will sort it out.

once in the psych unit, he will be seen by a consultant psychiatrist within 24 hours. they have the final say on whether he is kept in or not. there are a number of criteria that have to be met before someone can be detained against their will. im not gonna go into them here, because we've no way of knowing whether or not your brother meets them. he may not need admission at ll, there may well be other options available.



long story short, go to gp and start the ball rolling.

(i presume you are over 18 - if not, a sibling who is over 18 or a parent will have to sign teh form)



good luck, i hope things turn out ok.

pedantic.pat

Thanks for the reply sam appreciate it. Back from being down home for the w/e.

Also just want to suss peoples opinions on anti depressants-

My brother claims if he never went on the medication he would not be like this.

From my research online people claim that doctors give prescriptions easily to patients who come in saying they feel down or sad.

Why do doctors not send people to get counselling and then as a last resort the medication?

I ask these questions as someone who knows very little about this condition only from what i have read online. and apologise if i offend anyone by asking these questions.

Also if anyone could post a few links where i could go to read up on how to deal with loved ones with depression it would be a help.

sam34

pedantic.pat wrote: »

Thanks for the reply sam appreciate it. Back from being down home for the w/e.

Also just want to suss peoples opinions on anti depressants-

My brother claims if he never went on the medication he would not be like this.

From my research online people claim that doctors give prescriptions easily to patients who come in saying they feel down or sad.

Why do doctors not send people to get counselling and then as a last resort the medication?

I ask these questions as someone who knows very little about this condition only from what i have read online. and apologise if i offend anyone by asking these questions.

Also if anyone could post a few links where i could go to read up on how to deal with loved ones with depression it would be a help.

short answer pat - i know you're looking for others advice and experience, but i would be wary about what randomers on teh internet post. you are likely to get an over-whelmingly negative view of meds here, as people who are satisfied with treatment rarely get vocal about it, whereas those who are dissatisfied will shout it form teh rooftops, so what you read here may well be skewed.

re if/why docs over-prescribe meds:

firstly, i think this is over-estimated, as people often base this decision on the fact taht tehy think their friend/sibling/colleague is fine, so "they dont need tablets"... the reality is that depression is often a hidden illness, so they may not recognise symptoms, but that doesnt mean they arent there

secondly, there are lots of people out there who would benefit form counselling or psychotherapy....... but teh services arent there for them. it just isnt available, or its available after a long waiting list. if i was a gp ad had a choice between leaving someone languishing on a waiting list untreated, or giving them meds which may only treat half the problem, i know what i'd do.

have a look at teh aware site, AFAIK it gives good information for families
theres a link in the sticky on this forum i think, or else just google it


all teh best

pedantic.pat

Thanks sam i'll check that out.
Regards
Pat