Does he really care?

LegacyUser

Hi,

Ive been seeing my OH now for about 4 months and its going amazing. We get along really well and really seem to both like each other.

I don't know if I am being over sensitive at this moment....

Basically, we made great plans for valentines day. Go to Howth(always wanted to go) get some lunch, just hang out and then go too see a movie later on in the evening.

We were going to meet at the train station about half one and I was there on time but he wasn't, he ended up late....late as in got there by 3. So I was standing around the station for an hour and a half. This pissed me off.

When he got there he was really sorry and said he was sick all morning because he had gone out the night before and got pissed(which he also spent all his money on)

So in all we ended up doing nothing as planned and I had to pay for our food etc.

I don't know, i am just a little taken aback that he did this.....i am just having doubts that he cares for me at all?!

He said he's going to make it up to me by bringing me out soon when he gets money(were both students) to my favourite restaurant..but I guess ill believe it when it happens.

I think im being harsh here...we did have a great day in all but maybe its just the valentines thing and I really didn't think he would do that. He did apologize alot to me and he was sorry....I just dont know.

Sorry this is so long..guess I just want others views on it? Am I being over sensitive? Oh and yes I have talked to him about it and was fine, it's just bothering me today!

Thanks in advance

LegacyUser

It sounds like he didn't plan to go off drinking and spend all his money. I'd take his apology at face value.
If he acted like this before, or he acts like this again, I'd give him the boot though!

LegacyUser

He knew you had a big day planned, but still went out and spent all his money.
I can't believe you waited 1.5 hours for him. Then paid for everything. He's taking the complete pi ss and you are letting him.

Redpunto

I can understand that you feel upset but I would'nt take it as an insult against you. Guys can do this wtihout forward thinking, just make sure he makes it up to you

matt-dublin

us men are stupid at the best of times, ive done silly things like this before but i wouldn't be doing it maliciously, more stupidity

LegacyUser

I know he didn't mean to do it...guess it just hurt me a lot.

Ill just take things easy and he will make it up to me...hopefully

Thanks for the replys!

Cheap Thrills!

I think it was very bad of him to leave you waiting an hour and a half at the train station. He had obviously only got up and he could have been more truthful from the start. Instead he showed you no consideration.

If you accept that then he will think its ok. I mean you don't have to go mad at him just let him know he inconvenienced you and you didn't appreciate it.

He could have given you the chance to cancel if he had no money. It was his choice to go out drinking the night before. He didn't have to do that.

I would be a bit hurt too if I was you. As I say you dont have to go mad at him but I'd have a word with him. Let him know you wouldn't be happy with that treatment in future.

LegacyUser

Well he did ring me at half one to say he was going to be late and again at 2 because he was getting sick etc

I would have walked away if he had never got in contact and just left me there to wait an hour and a half.

LegacyUser

I cant believe these posts!! Are you for real OP. He was late, so what. He went on the piss the night before, so what. Jesus christ, get a little tougher for your own sake and dont be so high maintenance. Youre watching too much Greys Anatomy and reading too many romance novels. Get real

LegacyUser

guest1602 wrote: »

I cant believe these posts!! Are you for real OP. He was late, so what. He went on the piss the night before, so what. Jesus christ, get a little tougher for your own sake and dont be so high maintenance. Youre watching too much Greys Anatomy and reading too many romance novels. Get real

Nice generalisations there. Allow me one...... you've spent far too long as a bachelor and you're a bachelor because girls don't put up with your bull. Showing someone respect is part and parcel of being in a relationship. I'm sure if you were ever in a relationship, you wouldn't like to be left waiting for an hour and a half on more than one occasion? It's hardly rocket science.

LegacyUser

guest1602 wrote: »

I cant believe these posts!! Are you for real OP. He was late, so what. He went on the piss the night before, so what. Jesus christ, get a little tougher for your own sake and dont be so high maintenance. Youre watching too much Greys Anatomy and reading too many romance novels. Get real

I came on here for advice not abuse. I am far from high maintenance, I don't see how making plans with someone and wanting them not too be late is high maintenance!

I don't watch Greys Anatomy and don't read romance novels and don't need to justify this to you.

Yes ok I shouldn't be hurt over this, i am glad he went out and had fun but he could have done it any other day of the week or at least just not have gotten so drunk and then his hangover wouldn't have been so bad, but an hour and a half waiting is a long time.

I can't see how this is high maintenance..and well it's not!

John Mason

there is no way in hell i would have waited 1.5 hours.

when he phoned you at 2pm to say he was getting sick, why did you not just "dont worry about, we can re-schedule"

craziness, hanging around for 1.5 hours, when you knew he was hung over to feck and wouldnt be able to do anything. we have all being there with unplanned beers and having to cancel things the next day.

accept his apologies and forget about it,move on

dudara

OP, guys can do incredibly dumb things at times. It's not cruel or deliberate on their part. Unless something is spelled out in bold print right under their noses, it can completely pass them by. (No offence to males here, but I think it's a reasonably fair statement).

A good guy will be sorry about what he did (or didn't do) and will try to remember in future. But you've also got to communicate clearly what you would like.

If he continues to forget or ignore your feelings, then you'll know what to do.