Am i a bad mommy?

Unreg Today

Hi all,

I'm hoping to get some opinions here, as the title suggests i'm a mommy to a king charles he'll be 2 in june!! i have him since 12 wks old. i live in an apartment and work 5 days a wk, i walk himself before work for about an hour and an hours walk in the evening with a few more small strolls around the place.

He's the best little thing ever, there's no bother on him in the apartment when i'm at work, he sleeps in my room at night so the only time he's alone is when i'm at work.

so anyway i was taking him out yesterday evening and i met a girl i regularly meet in the corridor (who btw i thought was nice) but anyways we greeted each other and she practically sneered at me and said "oh isn't he mad to get out, but sur he must be after being locked up all day", this really bothered me the way she said this and my question is am i looking after him ok or am i wrong to leave him by himself and am i a bad mommy?

barbiegirl

Definitely not. You're doing the best you can for you and your doggie. She's just a nosey parker who probably has her own issues. How many dogs are there out there who don't get the attention that your gets. 2 hours walk a day is excellent, considering that dogs sleep for 20 hours a day, he's fine. If he's not showing any high levels of anxiety, barking the place down or chewing things to pieces, you're doing grand.
Yes there is an ideal, and as much as we all try to adhere to it, it's hard to do so all of the time.

Magenta

OP what I am wondering is, was that comment made as some sort of hint?
Maybe he has been barking during the day and it's been bothering her?
Cos if he was sleeping or playing during the day she might not even know he was there.

Unreg Today

hey thanks for the replies,

no i don't think it was a hint cos she's out working all day too and he never makes a sound, obviously as a pup he did but he's grown out of it long ago, he's normally fast asleep when i get in!

he's never distressed when i'm leaving or when i get back. he knows my morning routine and when i'm about to go out the door he runs into his bed to wait for a treat which i give him every morning before i go!

i leave him all his toys, hide treats for him and leave him bones, i did think i was doing an ok job of looking after him but after her rude comment i was starting to wonder was i really. i know it's not ideal having him in an apartment but i do try my best.

eth0_

Usually I would consider keeping a dog cooped up in a flat all day to be verging on cruelty, but if your dog is happy enough and not displaying any behavioural problems then he isn't too bothered by it.

I would agree with the poster who suggested maybe your neighbours comment was a hint - how can you be sure he isn't barking/howling when you're out at work?

tomcollins97

Having a dog alone in an apartment all day is cruel. What were you thinking?

You say that he is 'only' alone when you are at working, so assuming a 8hr day and minimal commute he is 'only' alone for 9hrs :eek:

You really should look at finding hime a better home with people who are around more. Dogs are social animals and are should not be cooped up alone all day

Unreg Today

that's ur opinion tom and thanks for the reply, i would think he's doing ok as i said i have him since 12 wks so it's what he's used to, if however he was an outside dog for years and then i kept him inside i would class this as cruel but obviously everyone's views are different

Viper_JB

Heya, you sounds like an excessively caring dog owner I'm sure he's fine so tis all good really but if you're curious to see what he's doing when you're not about what I'd do would be set up a little camera somewhere or get a spy camera from dealextreme and attach it to his collar before you goto work, should give you a good insight into how he does when you're not there.

tomcollins97

How does it make it alright just beacuse it is what he is used to?

Unreg Today

i didn't say it made it alright i was explaining the situation :rolleyes:

thanks for the reply Viper JB that sounds like a good idea i'm gonna have a look for that! could be interesting i reckon!

Magenta

If the OP is right and her dog doesn't fret or get upset when she's not there then I don't see the harm. She's not there for 9 hours but she is for the remaining 15. She is there for 2/3 of the day.
There's plenty of people who work from home and are "there all day" but their dog is kept outside in a kennel by himself regardless. Which is kinder?

andreac

If the dog is happy and not stressed out by being destructive then i cant see what the problem is. It would be diff if he was stressed out and howling or chewing the place apart, that would be a sign of an unhappy dog but this isnt the case.

mariaf24

You sound like a very loving owner. To be honest i think it might be a little hard for the little fella being left in an apt for up to 9 hours. Have you thought about arranging a dog walker to pop in and take him out for a stroll during the day? I have seen this service advertised before. Or i know this sounds extreme but would you consider moving elsewhere,even to a little house or groundfloor apt with back garden?

Could you maybe ask a friend or relative to pop in once a day?:)

Unreg Today

he seems pretty happy with it tbh, he's out of the apartment nearly all wkend with many visits to the park and the beach!

it's not a problem so i've never considered moving just wanted other opinions on the matter, thanks again

Magenta

mariaf24 wrote: »

You sound like a very loving owner. To be honest i think it might be a little hard for the little fella being left in an apt for up to 9 hours. Have you thought about arranging a dog walker to pop in and take him out for a stroll during the day? I have seen this service advertised before. Or i know this sounds extreme but would you consider moving elsewhere,even to a little house or groundfloor apt with back garden?

I don't think a garden would make much difference, he'd be cold outside.
I don't think the OP is a bad owner, plenty of dogs left out in a kennel all day with an electric shock collar on them in case they bark from boredom/loneliness :mad:
He probably just sleeps the whole day.

CreedonsDogDayc

My sister's King charles just sleeps the whole time!! (obviously not on walks though!!).

I'd say the best thing to do to put your mind at ease is pop into the girls apartment and explain that you've been thinking about what she said, and did she mean anything by it? She may have been in a bad mood and felt guilty for snapping at you after you left, or else maybe your pup has been whining and barking during the day and she has noticed it during some time off.

You could set up a web cam too to record what he gets up to while your out.

You really need to speak to her though to get some piece of mind. If your dog HAS been upset while your out you obviously dont want that, or perhaps something has frightened him or startled him recently and he has been barking about that.

I wouldnt deem your treatment of him as cruel at all though, does he use an litter box, or have you a set up for if he needs to go to the toilet during the day?

madrabui

Unreg today, I'm thinking along the same lines as mariaf24. If you were going to get a dog in your current situation, I would recommend it, but you have him now!

You're lucky in one way to have a caring (nosey) neighbour. At least you know that the dog's welfare is on their mind.

At the next apartment block meeting, nose about and find out if there is anyone who is in the block during the day that you could trust to give a key (and your dog!). It's a longshot I know.

Roro4Brit

Listen OP please ignore anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for leaving your pet alone. Assuming a max of 9-10 hours (any longer then this would be a problem) on their own then they will be fine. Yes they are social animals, but people need to get real, it is impossible for every person that owns a dog to be there 24/7.

Me and my partner have a pug and thankfully my OH only works a 4 hour day (radio presenter - ****er makes me jealous) so he's around a lot of the time. But still, we leave her on her own for up to 6 hours on some occasions. Ideally, I know that you would love your pet to be with you 24/7, but that is not reality. Your dog has learned that this is part of his routine. My mam had a king charles that just passed recently, he lived to be 13, and for the last 7 years orf so he too spent approx 8 hours a day alone, and was no worse off for it, the dog lived like a king.

Once your dog has plenty of toys, chew ropes, water, food, heat and a big soft comfy bed he wont batt an eyelid (unless it is in his personality to do so, which by your info, is not). I like to leave 3 or 4 treats in random places so they will come across them during the day. We also leave a radio on for our girl so she feels like there is someone home.

You seem to be doing a great job, and by the sounds of it you give him all the attention he could want in the morning, evenings and w/e. 2 hours walk a day....hell I know dogs that have owners present 24/7 that could only dream of such excursions.

So once your dog seems happy, and you continue to devote as much time as you can to him and do not leave him alone for longer periods than 9 hours he will be grand (anyhow if he is anything like my mam's old lad he will sleep for 8 of them anyhow).

You are a good great mammy.

mwin80

Hi,

It sounds to me like you are doing a great job with your dog. I work from home most days and i can tell you that even when i'm home during the day my dog is curled up asleep in her bed so it really makes no difference to her if i'm here or not. Like your dog, she gets a walk in the morning and again in the evening. And as you've said, you hide treats etc which gives your dog some stimulation when its not sleeping. There are so many dogs out there who don't get that kind of love and attention at all. Every dog is different and your dog is obviously happy so you're obviously doing a great job and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's way too easy for a total stranger who doesn't know anything about you to be judgemental. And yes, people might think that an apartment is very small for a dog but as long as it's not a big dog (which it isn't) then what's the difference between a dog that's kept in a room in an apartment and one that's kept in a room in house! very little.

Keep doing what your doing. I'm sure your dog loves you for it.

Unreg Today

Rora4Brit thanks a million for the reply, as you say i would love to be with him 24/7 but i live in the real world so gotta go to work!

i always leave the radio on for him, he listens to today fm all day

peasant

Roro4Brit wrote: »

Listen OP please ignore anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for leaving your pet alone. Assuming a max of 9-10 hours (any longer then this would be a problem) on their own then they will be fine.

Since you write with such deep conviction, I assume that you have some sort of tangible or even scientific evidence to back this up.

I'd be especially interested in documents that say that 10 hours is ok but 10.5 isn't and explain why.

Magenta

peasant wrote: »

Since you write with such deep conviction, I assume that you have some sort of tangible or even scientific evidence to back this up.

I'd be especially interested in documents that say that 10 hours is ok but 10.5 isn't and explain why.

The poster said 9-10 hours, he did not say 9 hours and 4 minutes or something like that, he/she was speaking in more general terms so I don't think your nitpicking/looking for an argument is necessary.

peasant

Magenta wrote: »

I don't think your ... looking for an argument is necessary.

I'm not looking for an argument, I'm looking for evidence.

Damien1989

If you have a dictophone or a Second mobile phone with a Voice recorder, Turn it on before you go out to work, Then when you get back, have a quick listen, then you'll know if your dog is barking during the day.

Magenta

peasant wrote: »

I'm not looking for an argument, I'm looking for evidence.

That poster had the same views as many other people on the thread so why don't you post up some papers yourself and show us all how wrong we are?

peasant

Magenta wrote: »

That poster had the same views as many other people on the thread so why don't you post up some papers yourself and show us all how wrong we are?

Now who's looking for an argument?

Look, everybody has a view on the matter and that view is largely skewed by their circumstances and personal experiences.

Fact of the matter is that dogs are social animals and that they do better with company than without.

As to how long they can be without that's a matter of temperament of the individual dogs, established routines and once again personal views.

But if someone shows up here and more or less categorically states that 9 -10 hours is fine and not to listen to anyone else ...well then I'd like to see that backed up ...I think that's fair enough

tk123

OP is there any chance the dog might be barking/fretting when your gone and bugging your neighbors a little? Our neighbors dog used to howl for hours on end when they left it all day and it was a bit annoying and also sad because he was clearly distressed and they were oblivious. If not forget your just nosey neighbour and let it go. Our puppy has gotten a little shy of other dogs after a terrier the size of his head (he's a golden retriever lol) snapped at him so we've started to bring him to dog day care a few days a week to socialise and also to have fun - I've gotten comments off a few people about it (like I care) which goes to show you just can't win with some people!

fatmammycat

I imagine it depends a great deal on the dog. My old dog could not have coped with 9 hours being left alone, hells bells, he was not happy with being alone full stop. But-from the information given- this little dog seems to show no sign of distress when his owner leaves and is not standing by the door howling the place down when the owner returns, and frankly being walked twice daily and being left inside in a warm apartment on a bed is waaaay better than being stuck outside in a garden.

olaola

People leave their dogs in houses all day - sometimes in utilty rooms. I don't really see the difference between a house and an apartment as long as the dog is walked. I don't think the dog notices either.
Personally we wouldn't leave the dog all day on her own. She is active, and does require a lot of walking etc. But you'd be amazed how much dogs sleep!

toadfly

God some people on here are being very harsh. From your post it sounds like the dog is happy out but I think the best thing is to leave a camera/dictaphone type thing and see if he barks while you are gone. If he doesnt then take it that he is happy and that your neighbour was having a bad day/is just a grump in general!

Not everyone has the luxury of staying at home all day...most of us normal people have to work 5 days a week to afford the apartment and dog!

My dog is alone while we are at work, I come home at lunch on the days my boyfriend isnt around (hes a rep so pops in during the day) but even if she was alone 8 hours a day I dont think it would make much difference. on the weekends she sleeps majority of the day. Best of luck..:D

tbh

lookit OP, at the end of the day, everyone has their own opinions on whether the dog is being properly looked after or not. At the end of the day, you know the dog. Is he happy and healthy? If so, nothing else matters.

lrushe

OP, in this day and age with the economy the way it is anyone who can spend all day or even the best part of the day with their dogs should consider that a luxury.
On paper your dogs situation wouldn't appear appropriate but the reality is your guy is ok to stay at home while your in work, would you consider getting him a companion? I have 3 dogs and a cat and I think this is why my 3 don't mind me going to work, they are walked either before or after I go to work depending my hours, they get their dinner then go to sleep, I've come home early or unexpectedly and they've always been asleep in their kennel none the wiser.

joyce2009

hells bells at the end of the day we all have to go out to work and leave our pets thats a fact of life,,If you've had this dog for 2 years ,,,, he is obviously well adjusted and happy ,,other wise your apartment would not be in the same state when you got home.. dont worry ,you know your dog ,you know he's happy..:D

morganafay

I don't think it's cruel. Dog's are quite happy on their own often, and yours obviously is. I know dogs who stay indoors while their owners are at work and they just sleep, because dogs need lots of sleep anyway. My dogs are outdoors but mostly sleep all day except when I'm out with them. If he has two walks a day then he should be fine.

King Charleses are lovely, I have three. I'd say that if you are really worried about him, would you think about getting another one as a friend for him? I think dogs are happiest with other dogs, even more than with people. Or a cat if you like cats.

Or some toys that have treats in them and he has to spend all day playing with. Or leave him treats hidden in random places in the apartment that he has to sniff out and find.

eth0_

Instead of recording 9 hours on a dictaphone/mobile (impossible really), why not ask the neighbour if the dog has been barking?

Discodog

You can get a cheap dictaphone that is voice activated so it is easy to check. It could be that the dog barks if it hears a noise like your neighbour leaving their property. The nice thing with using a dictaphone is that it gives you evidence as well as peace of mind. The webcams that can be linked to a mobile phone are also good.

You are being a very responsible owner. Many dogs are not walked before being left. Many spend all day & night in a garden with no companionship. I have just come in from leaving mine for 8 hours. They had a 40 minute off lead run around this morning & have just had "tea" & are now sleeping till it's time for their evening walk.