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Peace And Quiet

  • 15-02-2010 7:41pm
    #1
    coldfire1x
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,356 ✭✭✭


    A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly.
    "Is everything okay, pal?", the bartender asks.
    "My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn't talking to me for a month!".
    Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?"
    "Yeah. But today is the last day".

    Memory Problems

    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

    "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me."

    "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"

    Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?"

    "You mean a rose?"

    "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"


    Drugs or Booze

    Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.

    Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.

    Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.

    The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.

    "What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!"

    Matt replies, "What...and we weren't?"


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