Ever realise you have no real friends?

Elphaba

Hi all,
As the post says I'm just wondering if this happens to other people? I've recently realised that I don't actually have any real friends. I have acquaintences who I can email to pass the time in work and stuff but no one that I feel really cares. I didn't text or email any of these "friends" for a few days just to see if any of them would text me and they didn't. I'm not a horrible person, I'm pretty laid back about life and just want to be happy.

It just makes me sad that I've come to this realisation. I have a great boyfriend and family and am thankful for that but I don't want my bf to be my only real friend and I was embarrassed talking to him about it cos I feel like a loser. He has loads of friends so he was trying to be helpful but I don't think he understood fully. It's making me analyse almost everything I do and say now to see if I can work out where I went wrong.

Has this happened to anyone else? If so, what did you do? I work and I'm involved in sport a couple of evenings a week so I'm around people all the time who I get on with but it seems that's all it is.

lynsalot

Hey OP,

I think this kind of thing can happen to people from time to time. I felt like this not too long ago but when things went wrong in my life I realised those acquaintances were there for me and it helped to build on the relationship i had with them. It can be hard when you feel that people don't think of you ie. to text or email you without prompting. I have certainly seen it happen with old friends of mine when we all started getting into relationships... it happens from time to time. Do you feel this may have happened when you met your boyfriend or was it always like this?

So first of all, don't let it get you down. You have all the right foundations to build on with these acquaintances... you've lots of ppl you can start seeing more and become close to. Maybe if some of these ppl are in relationships perhaps invite them both for a drink with your boyfriend. What about his friends girlfriends?

What about hooking up with old friends from school? Facebook is great for this I think. I know you said you have hobbies, but put yourself out there more. invite people for a coffee and a chat, or a drink and start socialising with your footie team maybe after training. U said that u email ppl in work? Are they ppl u work with? Could you start socialising in your job more? Really get to know them and build friendships on this?

Remember that you have a network of support around you already with your family and boyfriend. And it's not that you're not worthy of getting to know. Sometimes people have other priorities and are busy and unfortunately don't make enough time for their friends. Make sure your boyfriend knows how you feel and understands so he can help you make friends too. I would definitely get to know the other halves his friends have so you can have a group you know.

You have to be positive about this because ppl generally don't gravitate towards people who may have a negative view on making friends. A girl started in my job a short time ago and she's so bubbly and chatty and outgoing she's made lots of friends... me included. She made me think i need to make more of an effort getting to know ppl myself.

Anyway i hope that helped. Let us know how you get on.

brian ireland

Sorry! Stupid Comment Removed.

brian ireland

Sorry if my post is not helpful. But you made me think how luck I am. Sorry Again!!!!!

Elphaba

Thanks Lynsalot. That's really helpful X A problem shared really is a problem halved

botbot

i completelt agree with lynsalot, i went through a phase of feeling like this, but something sh8tty happened to me too and it made me realise how much people cared. now i wouldn't wish anything bad on you. but i found that because i was going through a rough time i became much more open with my friends and it really helped me to connect with them. why don't you try to share your feelings [not the ones about having no friends!] to some of the closer aquaintances, this i'm sure will be reciprocted, the more you share with your friends the closer ye will become, and the more you will feel they are 'real' friends

lynsalot

Hi Brian Ireland... I don't think your post was particularly helpful to the OP :eek::(

brian ireland

lynsalot wrote: »

Hi Brian Ireland... I don't think your post was particularly helpful to the OP :eek::(

Ok sorry for that op.

jon1981

I would be in a similar position, i have some close friends but beyond my close friends i would have aquaintances only. i think your upbringing plays a big part in this, I have a habit of analysing people around me (and myself) and i have noticed that those that have large social circles have had a different upbringing, their parents probably encouraged them more to join clubs, sports or get involved with things in general, encouraged them to be outgoing. its not a fault in you its just the environment that developed you was different than others... my 2 cent!