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Normal to be lonely?

  • 14-02-2010 1:19am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi
    I recently broke up with my girlfriend, not great timing the weekend that's in it. We havnt spoke since either, iv done this to give her some space, am I doing the righ thing? Also is it normal to feel lonely after this, after all it was me who broke up with her. I know it's probably the media hallmark day that's bringing this on but I'm just confused


Comments

  • #2
    lly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭lly


    hi

    Hope you are doing ok...

    Of course it is normal to feel lonely.

    You have gone through a change and there is now a gap in your life. This will feel lonely for a while. Time is what is needed and also why people say it is important to keep busy after a break up.... You need to fill this gap and often you are not ready to meet someone else so other activies need to take up this time

    It gets easier... Good luck


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    hi thanks for the reply, am i doing the right thing by not talking texting my ex for now.its been a week.i fell terrible for hurting her


  • #4
    lly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭lly


    yes you are...

    You ended the relationship and have to give time for her and you to get over it. Contacting her will only make it harder as she will question whether you are missing her or rethinking your decision.

    Being in contact only delays the process of people getting over the relationship.

    You will also miss her company but you cannot get in touch just to talk and check in. Thats not fair....


  • #5
    trio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭trio


    One of the cardinal sins of breaking up with anyone is then texting them "R U OK? THINKIN OF U"

    Poor dumped girlfriend who's just dried her eyes and resolved to wash you out of her hair is then plunged back into "Oh my god maybe he regrets it! Maybe he wants to get back with me!" and her head is wrecked all over again.

    Yes it is entirely normal to miss someone you've spent a huge chunk of your life with. It'd be abnormal if you didn't feel sad, frankly.

    But it will pass - you broke up for a reason.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP here
    i just found out that she is taking it really bad and is really sad. she is confused and doesnt know why it happened. this is killing me, i hate myself for doing this and just the thought of her being so upset is tearing me to bits. i explained to her that for me it had just run its course, i didnt feel like i wanted to be in the relationship anymore. there was no particular reason why it happened it just did. thats the truth but im guessing that thats not a good enough answer for her is it? iv just burst into tears at all this, i didnt mean to hurt her


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  • #7
    MaggieZ
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26 ✭MaggieZ


    Hi OP, you sound like a lovely person. It's totally normal for you to feel that way, you might not be in love with her but of course you care about her. But the thing is, you can't really make it any better for her, break ups and rejection are hard to handle, and no amount of explanation will make her feel better at this point. Both of you will get over it eventually and move on, it might take time but it will happen. And please don't make the mistake of going back because you are feeling lonely and sorry for her, you will regret it and end up hurting her again. Just let it be for a now. It will be OK, you'll see.


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