Losing erection...

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'm 21 and have only been in one sexual relationship before almost a year ago, that was great and I had no problems.
I've now been seeing a girl for 2-3 months (around the same age) and about a week ago we finally decided to have it for the first time together, she mentioned just before it that she had never done it before which I thought was great to hear. Everything was going great until I wrapped up and then I completely lost my erection and went on a complete flop. This exact situation has happened 2 or 3 times since and its really getting to me, I dont know whats causing it.
I though maybe it was nerves because Im mad about her and also because it was her first time, so Ive tried hard to get this out of my head and be relaxed when the time came but its probably stuck in the back of my mind somewhere. Shes been incredibly patient about it and all but as you can guess its constantly playing on my mind and Ive no idea what to do about it. One other thing was the condoms were tight enough (free ones in college - Trojan ones, so I invested in Durex ones which were a million times more comfortable)

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated, especially if anyones been in the same boat before.. thanks for reading

LegacyUser

Was in a similar situation before, don't really think about it as what I had and you sound like you may have is ED (Erectile Dysfunction) caused by anxiety basically you are a little nervous about it. The first few times I did it were less than admirable but eventually you get into the swing of things. Thinking all day about that big moment and now even thinking more about "will I be a flop" will only lead to vicious cycle. Something that helped me also was I completely stopped masturbating for a few days before and me meat and two veg were like a loaded cannon ready to explode and all revv'd up!

Angus Og

That happens to lots of men. How long did you spend getting to know one another before you attempted penetration?

You do sound nervous, and it's completely normal, even if she is inexperienced. After all, you want to do something special for her, and that adds to the pressure.

Take her patience as a good sign. Don't be negative about yourself.

T "real deal" J

get her to give you a blowjob and then just throw it in. once it's in you're back. As long as the pair of you have a sense of humour you'll be fine

LegacyUser

meat + 2 veg - Im not sure about erectile dysfunction, that always struck me as not able to get it up at all, Ive always been able to get it up any time, the only exception being when getting to the penetration stage of being with this girl only. I havent masturbated all weekend but Im not sure itll make a difference for next time (tomorrow)

Angus Óg - anything from half an hour to an hour or so, so its not as if we weren't patient about it. Im trying my best to take her patience as a good thing, she knows Im thankful how patient shes been, but at the same time I cant stop thinking about how frustrated she must be at this stage.

Thanks both of ye for the replies, much appreciated.
We're heading out for grub tomorrow night which Im really looking forward to, hopefully afterwards with a bit of luck things wont go the same way as recently

Angus Og

Don't want to scare you, but a half an hour to and hour or so? Girls are usually nicer than that. Try a week, or more. She likes you, that's obvious.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

Apologies, I COMPLETELY misunderstood that post! :O

Ive been seeing her over 2 months
Thanks for the reply anyways though!

wylo

dare I suggest the 'V' word via a doctors prescription. He may understand that although it is only psychological it is still impacting greatly on your sex life.

Angus Og

Don't worry, you said that in the first post. I meant how long have you been getting to know one another intimately, before attempting penetration? Or did you go straight to it as soon as your clothes were off?

That's why I thought it must be nerves.

Didn't mean to confuse you.

LegacyUser

Last time to post.. everything is back to normal since the weekend, I dont know how or what was wrong but it just is, happy days! cheers for the replies anyways

Angus Og

Your nerves are gone. Have fun.