Did she completely overreact?

LegacyUser · 11-02-2010 1:29pm #1

Hi there

Guy in 20's, in LDR for about a year. I do pretty much all of the travelling as she works weekends, so I spend my weekends in her apt. My other half currently isnt speaking to me after screaming down the phone to me on Tuesday evening because I booked my driver theory test for Monday, the day after Valentine's day.

This is a problem apparently because she will be working until 7pm on the evening of Valentine's day (which I didn't know when I booked the test) and I have to go home that evening to prepare for the test as it is at 9am on the following morning. When I told her I wouldnt be staying over on the Sunday, she rang me and went apes**t, telling me I'm "unbelievable" and that I dont "give a s**t" (about the relationship I guess). I didn't even get a chance to respond, she just hung up on me when I was trying to defend myself.

I haven't heard from her since, and I haven't initiated contact with her, as to do so would, in my mind, justify or vindicate completely inappropriate behaviour. We had no discussion about our plans for Valentine's day - it was never going to be that romantic if she would only be getting in the door at half seven, but yet it's suddenly this big deal.

I normally go down on Friday's but seeing as I haven't heard from her, I'm assuming I'm not this weekend. I'm just looking for an outside perspective on it really as I think she went completely OTT.

Thanks

anucksunamun · 11-02-2010 2:13pm

In my opinion she completely and utterly overreacted. If I was you I would not contact her and wait for her to apologise. But just so you know this she will think shes absolutely in the right on this, she probably had valentines day plans going on her head (damn you and your lack of psychic ability :rolleyes:) and you may end up breaking up over it.. If it gets to that stage does it matter who's in the right? is it worth breaking up over some moodiness and her bad behaviour? only you can answer that.

AnonoBoy · 11-02-2010 2:18pm

Yes. She overreacted.

If she thinks that life stops and starts because Hallmark want to sell some cards then she needs to grow up.

You could have a nice romantic evening together on Saturday, does it really matter so much that it's not going to be on the 14th? Of course not.

fonda · 11-02-2010 2:20pm

Tell her to take the day off work if it's that important to her!

Gyalist · 11-02-2010 2:22pm

Are you the guy with the messy girlfriend?

LegacyUser · 11-02-2010 2:26pm

Maybe she was planning a suprise for you? If you love her, contact her as you not contacting her just shows her that she was right that you do not give a s... about the relationship. I am in a LDR myself and I can go all dramaqueen like too but the worst thing would be if my oh wouldnt try to contact me. Just asked her what's up.

LegacyUser · 11-02-2010 2:26pm

Thats so ridiculous!! She expects the world to revolve around her & that she has to be treated like a princess. She cant expect you to drop everything for you & she needs to develop a bit of understanding!!!

Sephiroth_dude · 11-02-2010 2:32pm

Yup she completely over reacted and she needs to apologise to you for the way she acted.

Cheap Thrills! · 11-02-2010 2:34pm

^^^ Was just thinking the same!

Wow OP, anyway she was bang out of order and I'm a woman and LOVE Valentines day. Now fair enough IF plans had already been made but they hadn't.

And IF you are the same fella with the messy girlfriend this must be the last straw.

How come you always have to go to her. Let the mountain come to Muhammed and all that!

Beruthiel · 11-02-2010 2:41pm

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

Yup she completely over reacted and she needs to apologise to you for the way she acted.

Yup.
Not only that, but if you intend to continue this relationship, then you need to point out to her that this kind of behaviour is unhealthy and childish.

If you need one day in the year to show her how you feel, then your relationship is in the toilet anyways.
She should be feeling the love other days and not even need a Hallmark day for displays of affection.

LegacyUser · 11-02-2010 2:55pm

Whoa! I didnt expect that kind of reaction I must admit

Yeah I am the same guy , although she has gotten her act together in that regard a bit!
It's hard not contacting her I must say as I feel I'm doing more damage than good, but then I remember that if I do, I'm caving in and sending her a message that if she holds out not enough I'll capitulate!

ManOfMystery · 11-02-2010 3:02pm

guest20008 wrote: »

Maybe she was planning a suprise for you? If you love her, contact her as you not contacting her just shows her that she was right that you do not give a s... about the relationship. I am in a LDR myself and I can go all dramaqueen like too but the worst thing would be if my oh wouldnt try to contact me. Just asked her what's up.

She's the one who blew a fuse and then hung up, why is the onus on the OP to contact her?

What's there to say that SHE cares about the relationship? She should be apologising for being ignorant and overreacting without even giving the OP a chance to explain himself.

Barracudaincork · 11-02-2010 3:11pm

guest20008 wrote: »

Maybe she was planning a suprise for you? If you love her, contact her as you not contacting her just shows her that she was right that you do not give a s... about the relationship. I am in a LDR myself and I can go all dramaqueen like too but the worst thing would be if my oh wouldnt try to contact me. Just asked her what's up.

So what if she had a surprise, she cant expect him to know that!

No, by not contacting her shows he does give a sh*t, a sh*t about being in a mature adult relationship.

The worse thing someone can do to you is not contact you, oh to have such an easy life!

OP, she so overreacted its shameful! She needs a large dose of cop on with a size portion of reality check ontop! Do not contact her, if you do, you will be telling her you accept this behaviour. I have seen so many friends put up with this sort of behaviour and it never ends pretty. I know you love her etc but you gotta love yourself more and not tolerate being abused by this women and im sorry but she has abused you by treating you like this.

prinz · 11-02-2010 3:14pm

ManOfMystery wrote: »

She's the one who blew a fuse and then hung up, why is the onus on the OP to contact her?

..because maybe the OP should be an adult about the situation and have it out once and for all, instead of them both sitting like lemons playing a childish mind game of who calls who first.

OP, yes she over-reacted. Call her up and tell her she did, let her take it from there.

SheRa · 11-02-2010 3:28pm

Huge +1 to prinz's answer. Ringing her back shows real maturity on your behalf. Yes she really overreacted, but I cant help wondering if she is annoyed about something else. Not very rational I know and her reaction is not your fault, but ring her and she what she has to say.

Redpunto · 11-02-2010 7:10pm

OK, maybe her reaction was slightly OTT but Iwould be pissed off if my OH decided to completely ignore the fact that Sunday was valentines day and not plan anything, she, i am sure, had it all planned out in her head. Pick up a takeaway on teh way hom, bottle or two of wine, him staying over and her being in his arms all night:D

If you give a crap about the girl ring her and talk to her, you not ringing her is childish and immature.

Did she completely overreact?

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