First time with new partner - how adventurous?

Butty

Hi All,

No a big issue but just looking for some people's experiences or opinions on this. Also, Mod's if relationship issues isn't the correct forum please redirect as appropriate.

Brief background - been seeing a new girl for the past couple of weeks. Getting on really well. Enjoy each other's company. Make each other laught etc. Have probably met up 4 or 5 times in that period. We kissed everytime but we haven't slept together yet as the situation hasn't really allowed due to a variety of factors - meeting for lunch, one of us works nights so meeting before work, etc. This is not a problem at all, as I said we've been getting on great.

Meeting up again in the next few days and going to head out for the night together. We live pretty close to each other so I think it's pretty likely that we'll head back to one or other of our places and sex will probably be on the agenda. If not this time, then very soon anyway. We're both mid to late 20's. I'm quite experienced. Not sure about her. Which leads me to my question.

How adventurous does everyone tend to be when they sleep with a new partner for the first time? Not talking one nighters here as you generally don't know the person very well at all. I've experienced both sides of the track in terms of keeping things quite simple and reserved and also trying things a bit wilder. With both of my long term ex's I had amazing sex yet the first time was quite average and boring. I realise that it gets better as you get to know your partner better.

Probably sounds like a silly quuestion but just looking for some opinions from other people. How adventurous the first time? Just keep it simple? Go with the flow and see what feels right? Push the boundaries a little and go with whatever she seems comfortable with?

LegacyUser

I wouldn`t be too adventurous. If it`s your first time together you will most likely be nervous and so will she. First time sex is not the right time to bring anything too kninky into the equation in my own opinion. The first time is about getting comfortable with seeing each other naked and exploring each others bodies and not putting on a performance. Plain old vanilla sex is fine for now. Later on, when you are both more comfortable, you can feel free to try new things, just not yet.

By the way, just a little hint: An ex of mine had a habit of wanting to change sex positions every five mins or so which got really annoying . Just as I was getting into it it was like ~"now you go on top".....then "lets do it on our side".... then "now lets do it with your legs on my shoulders"....etc etc. It made it like a feckin acrobatics show or a porn movie and took all the intimacy out of it for me.
So my advice--keep it simple for a while.

jenga-jen

Dear god don't 'push boundaries' unless you've had any hints/chats about likes and dislikes etc. You don't want to remember your first time as making eye contact with her through the awkward tangle of your limbs and seeing FEAR

Plus it's your first time with her, and you obviously like her a lot given the amount of thought going into this, so chances are by the time you get down to it anything you 'plan' will go out the window

Just enjoy it, see what happens. Plenty of time for the 'getting worked up' chats about what you both like and dislike.

Half the fun with someone new is finding this stuff out!! Throwing her into a handstand for some kama sutra position on the first night just skips all the fun of finding stuff out together!

Beruthiel

Butty wrote: »

Go with the flow and see what feels right?

This.

Push the boundaries a little and go with whatever she seems comfortable with?

You don't know her well enough in that department to know what she's comfortable with.
IMO you risk freaking her out and you should kept it slow and simple first time off the bat.