What can i do??

LegacyUser

Hey all. Never asked for advice like this before and i normally wouldn't tbh, but i'm so worried atm and i don't know how to react/cope to what's going on.
A few days ago, my bf told me in so many words that he's had thoughts of killing himself over the past few months. Said things along the lines of he often feels like he's close to just breaking down. I had strongly suspected he might be depressed but i wasn't expecting this. He's been under unbelievable amounts of stress for quite a while now. i tried to reassure him but i was in a bit of shock. i think i may have under-reacted at the time and the whole thing has me worried sick. It scared me tbh, never seen him speak like that. I don't know what i'd do if anything ever happened to him. He's been quite cheerful since, but that's what he's like; up and down. We haven't spoken about it again, i keep thinking i should try but i worry about pushing him.
I guess what i'm asking is how do i help him?? I get fairly down from time to time and i'm afraid that when i'm like this i'll bring his mood down too. Should i push him to see someone (i'm afraid he'll get defensive and shut me off or something)? I don't actually think he'd hurt himself right now, i dunno maybe he just needed me to listen to him, but what if i'm wrong? It just seems like he's stuck in a hole and he can't see a way out.
Please give me any and all advice, i really feel so out of my depth here and it breaks my heart to know he's been thinking like this.

harvardgal2

Hi,

I had advice on this on a professional level, basically we were told if someone tells you they are thinking of killing themselves it's ok to ask them, how they plan on doing it, when, where etc. If they have concrete answers to these questions then they are in real danger and in need of immediate help. So if your Bf says this again, ask him these questions and judge yourself from his responses how serious you think he is. Obviously this isn't an exact science, but according to the experts this is advisible. I hope it helps. Perhaps you should call the Samaritans or Aware for advice from trained personel, as it may be better than advice you may receive from non professionals on boards. Best of luck. I hope you will both be ok.

Sauve

yeah, agree with last post. Ive been told that best approach is to ask straight out. The thinking behind this is that you'll most likely get the honest answer. Also, if you know whats going on in his head, you're in a better position to help him. But dont take it all upon yourself. Firstly, dont panic. Thats the last thing he needs right now if his head is all over the place. Get professional advice and just be there for him. Best of luck, I wish you well x

LegacyUser

yep you need to clarify the extend of the problem first. my boyfriend also has had suicidal thoughts but it was sort of life changing moment as he decided not too. I still worry about him, but he has a good support system.

on pratical things you can do, you can offer to make an appointment with his GP, just making a call can be really difficult. you can aslo offer to go with him and wait in the waiting room.