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He wants to meet my parents

  • 09-02-2010 6:51pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm with my guy seven months and last weekend I met his parents and sister at a big family bash. I'd met them before briefly but this was the first time we had a chance to talk. They're very nice and everything, and I know I made a good impression.
    Now he wants to meet mine. Thing is, it's not something I'm into. I don't need a seal of approval from our parents for us to be together because we are adults, both live in our own home and don't need to report back to parents on what we're up to. Plus, I've always felt when you're with someone, you are with them and not their family-my mum always took this approach with her in laws and it seems to have worked well-her MIL was a wagon but she gets on great with my dad's sisters.
    Bottom line, I'm not that pushed about having him up for a "meet the parents" afternoon or dinner. Is this a big deal to other people? I'm really independent, I love my family to bits but this is my relationship and not my family's or his family. Any ideas?


Comments

  • #2
    OS119
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,518 ✭✭✭OS119


    you're wonderful, will you marry me?

    scrabbling to find resons, but here goes... most blokes know that meeting her parents is something they eventually have to do, so its possible that when he says 'shall we go over to your parents?' he means 'god i really don't want to, but i know it has to happen, so if i offer to do it i might get brownie points for not having to be pushed/badgered/bullied into it'....

    or he's a bit insecure and is waving the 'are you ashamed of me or something?' card - not an attractive display of self-assured maturity i imagine..

    but given the atmosphere i assume you've created in the relationship - that you couldn't give a flying fcuk about the opinins of your parents, his parents, the woman down the post office or the cable guy, i don't really see why he would want to meet your parents - it completely baffles me.

    he's weird obviously.


  • #3
    I_am_Jebus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 458 ✭✭I_am_Jebus


    Mmmm.

    I would find it odd if an OH of 7 months or more wouldn't introduce me to their family.

    I appreciate what you are saying about your independence etc... but this is not really an independence issue to be honest.

    Generally, the two most important people / sets of people in person's life are their family and their other half. What order they come in depends on the people involved, nature and seriousness of the relationship.

    I would like to meet my OH's family because they are important to the person and I would like my oH to meet my parents because they are important to me. It's nothing to do with seal of approval or anything.. Unless you live in a different county to your family I am surprised that your OH and your family haven't cross paths at some stage.

    Personally I would be worried if my OH didn't want me to meet their family - I'd be thinking either they didn't think I was good enough to meet them or that there was something wrong with the family.

    Each to their own and all that but I can't See how him meeting your family is such a bad thing.


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