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He doesnt want to move in....

  • 08-02-2010 4:13pm
    #1
    Trishis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 92 ✭✭


    Hey...just wondering if some of you could put my mind at ease....my boyfriend has lived with all his previous girlfriends but for some reason he doesn't want to live with me. he moved in with all of them straight away but thats not the case with us! I have asked him to move in but he said he's not ready....Does that mean hes not sure about us? Together over a year....should i cut my losses? I'm afraid its obvious hes not into us and I'm just blinkered or something!


Comments

  • #2
    gigawatt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 380 ✭✭gigawatt


    maybe he just doesnt want to rush in again. obviously the last times didnt end well for him.have you asked him straight out why he doesnt want to?


  • #3
    ash23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,791 ✭✭✭ash23


    What reason has he given for not moving in with you?

    I moved in with my ex in a rush and I don't think I'd do it again. I really like having my own space and my own place. It would be a big change to me to live with someone again and a HUGE step.
    Frankly, unless I was sure that it was the man I was going to marry, I wouldn't be moving in with him.

    It wouldn't mean I wasnt in love with the guy or that I didn't see a future. Just that people who have been burned tend to be more cautious than those who haven't and take longer to do things imo.


  • #4
    Peggypeg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 578 ✭✭✭Peggypeg


    Hey OP,
    If it's worrying or confusing you then you should talk to him. If it turns out that he's just cautious because of previous experience then you should maybe try to be understanding and give him more time. Is there any rush for you to move in together, like financially or something? If not, maybe you should just enjoy the relationship as it is now and not rush anything. Talk to him, though, that would be the best way to see where his head is.
    Best of luck.


  • #5
    trio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭trio


    Actually, I think it's quite understandable that he's hesitant.

    He moved in with all his exes and those relationships crashed and burned!

    Perhaps he realises that moving in with someone puts so much additional pressure on the relationship that it endangers it - unless you've been together for years and are 1000% ready.

    I'd say he doesn't want to endanger the good thing he has with you. I would actually see it as a bit of a good thing - he's being very careful to protect what you have at the moment.

    And besides - A YEAR??!! Jaysus, wait a while. What's the rush? If things are fantastic after you've been together say, two and a half years, then ask again. Don't be suprised if someone is shying away from moving in after just a year, especially if that's exactly what they did in the past and it was a big fat disaster.


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