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How to play this one?

  • 08-02-2010 11:57am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Just want some honest opinions here as I'm not sure.

    Met a guy over the weekend in the pub. We ended up kissing in the club and then back to mine for a party I was having for my friends birthday.
    When we met first I mentioned I had a child and he said he would leave it there as he wasn't interested in getting involved with someone with a child.
    I said fine, that if he didn't want that no problem. So at the time I thought "one night stand". So we slept together.
    But we really did hit it off and when he left the following evening he asked to see me again.
    I told him I wasn't going to give him my number if he wasn't going to use it and he said that he wanted to see me again.

    Now I know what he said about my child and I understand that. It's happened before and he does actually seem to be a very nice guy (although that comment makes him sound like a bit of a sh1t really lol). But he seems to be a good 'un.

    Anyway, he left mine around 5pm and he rang last night around 9pm just to see how I was etc. Then around 11 he texted me saying "I'm off to bed. Night x"

    So, what do I do? I'm ok with ONS but I prefer them to end at that than carry on in a FB way.
    I've scared off guys before by being too intense and I don't want to do that in this case but I don't want to waste my time being just a shag on a night out.

    I want to ask him if he still meant what he said about not getting involved because of the kid. Because the kids not going anywhere!
    But I think he might have changed his mind as he was at my house, sees I'm independent etc.

    I don't know. I don't want to scare him by looking to know his "intentions" but I'm guessing he's going to want to meet me again soon and I want to handle it in the best way possible,


    Arghhhh this is why I don't sleep with someone I want a relationship with! He was only supposed to be a ONS because of what he said but I do like him now. He seems really sweet and we get on well which makes a change from my usual type of total w@nkers. Lol


Comments

  • #2
    Angus Og
    Closed Accounts Posts: 401 ✭✭Angus Og


    "this is why I don't sleep with someone I want a relationship with"

    You have a child to worry about. Make sure he understands you clearly. You're right to stick to your guns, because he may just be looking at you as a source for sex.

    Explain how you feel, and why you feel that way. There is nothing wrong with looking after your own interests.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    We've arranged to meet for a couple of drinks during the week.

    What I want to do is just say something like "I know you said you werent interested in getting involved with someone with a child. I'm just wondering if you still feel that way?"

    Or is that too much?

    Also, not sure if I should sleep with him again if we do start dating or if I should wait for a while.


  • #4
    Peggypeg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 578 ✭✭✭Peggypeg


    You're protecting your child as well as yourself so you have every right to ask where this is going, if anywhere. I would wonder about him though, he just said "oh I'm not interested if a child's involved", then slept with you and came back for more, I would worry that he thinks he can just get the sex and not a relationship because he stated at the start that your child is a dealbreaker, as in "why are you upset that I've been sleeping with you for 6 month and not committing, I told you at the start that it's a dealbreaker" etc. He has every right not to want to be involved with someone with a child but you have a right to know were you stand. I would step back until you know the score.


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